vent about my kid and softball tryouts

[wendyks]

So I'm sure this is SO typical, and maybe I'm being a bit hormonal, and I'm also trying to keep it together b/c the kid has a friend over.

She was supposed to try out for softball today. She wanted to try out even though she has no experience with the sport. Honestly, she probably would have no made it, but of course, it would be a good experience to try out. We had a pep talk about it last night. She was pretty excited and receptive to the pep talk. Last week and this week, I asked - Are you sure you don't need any paperwork? You don't need ANYthing from me to try out? No.

Today, she was not "on the list" and was not able to tryout. "But it's not my fault". Uh, whose fault is it then?! So-and-So also didn't get to. Ok... so you and so-and-so BOTH didn't listen. Doesn't make you're situation any better. "There are other sports". ok. Just...ok.

I personally, as mom, don't really care. This is something SHE wanted to do and when there's something big, I do get involved. I also am of the belief that at this age (13), she really needs to take charge of some of these things and has the ability to. Honestly, she's probably more disappointed than I am, but I'm just so pissed that I asked her twice if she needed anything and also that she is also acting now like it's not a big deal. And frankly, it's both protective, and somewhat resilient - and a good thing that her life isn't wrecked by the fact that she couldn't try out. But god, I'm just so mad that her discombobulation and/or lack of care, has shut her out from a potentially great experience that she was excited about.

Thanks for listening. I know it's not a HUGE deal and I'm more pissed than I need to be.

[Lovinit]

When next season comes if she’s still interested decides to sign up she will remember she needs get some paper from someone and I bet see will figure it out.

[wendyks]

Yes - I think it's that appearance of not caring that was totally getting to me. I'm glad I was able to vent here b/c as most things go, I think she does care more than she lets on. Trust but verify is also a good one! Thanks for relating!

[Aniusia in reply to wendyks]

Hello, my son does the same thing- he seems not to care. Does he really not care, or is it just a pose? Masking the failure?

[Parrot36]

I am not sure she will “learn” quite the same as other children. One of the specialists I follow on YouTube, Russell Barklay, suggests that children with ADHD are about three years behind in mental maturity. So while you are trying to have your daughter become more independent, it might not work for her yet and might cause more struggles and heartbreak for all of you.

[il1515]

I agreed that I don't think they will "learned". My brother is 30 yrs old and I bet he got undiagnosed ADHD, throughout his life he is very forgetful and get distracted easily. He rarely can follow through on things without reminder. When things are unsuccessful (such as your daughter not trying out), he will started to lie about it saying he did do it but didn't make it etc...We are often pissed when we found out he lied. My parents who know nothing about ADHD always yelling at him that he's lazy and useless. He's been in city college for 10yrs and still didn get a degree. Always want to play cellphone/pc games. Doesn't want to find a full time job (I think he's afraid of job interview). He is forced to work part time at relative restaurant and only doing the minimum, and sneak to the back to play on his phone. I guess he's lying and pretending not care (or learned to not care) to prevent us from yelling at him or telling him "I told you so!" My son is diagnosed and I see a lot of similar actions as my brother and we are trying to change our reactions to his behavior and hopefully my son won't turn into my brother in the future.

[wendyks in reply to il1515]

What a sad situation. But yes, the lying is so hard to deal with...