Anger

[Cjlyn]

My son at the end of the day towards night has such anger issues that at times you can’t even talk to him he so not rational or you can’t even get through him. Then will cry and ask why does he get so mad why do I do this. I absolutely can’t take it anymore it’s ruined my relationship it’s destroying everything around me. He’s ten years old. This has been going on for about a year now and getting worse. My son is a good kid, great personality so sweet, heart on your sleeve kind of person. The person that comes out at night I have no idea who he is. I am at a loss, I don’t know what’s right, how to engage with him when he’s Like this, how to help him. I desperate for help? Has anyone go through this? I am willing to try anything.

[Eclecticentric77]

Is this irritability/emotional state on account of ADHD medication wearing off, or does it not involve medication? I have Inattentive ADHD and went undiagnosed until my mid 20s. I recall that when I was 10 I started to feel major changes to my emotions, this was in part due to puberty being right around the corner. This would include me feeling either melancholy or upset at different times during the day, often times for no specific reason. I went through puberty at age 12 and was in an angry/intense mood around 40% of the day, and this went on throughout high school. What helped me the most was getting a solid 7-8hrs of sleep and actually eating a good meal at lunch and dinner (I never had breakfast due to being extremely drained/irritable every morning). I speculate that your son like many people with ADHD has trouble with homework. Completing assignments might take longer, and reading could take a really long time. I had that problem, and would finish my homework sometimes around 10 or 11pm, by that point it was time for bed, and it would anger me beyond belief that I had no time for myself and that I now had to go to bed, so what would I do? I would stay up late playing music until around 12am or later, and then be horribly tired the next day (this was the cycle 80% of the time). So if a kid gets angry for being told to go to bed, and has ADHD, and has struggled with homework/feels drained.....It is quite the common ocurence.

Here are some helpful options

1. If your son is not taking medication, start thinking about it. I wish someone would have informed my parents of my condition, so I wouldn't have gone through hell in middle school and high school.

2. If you decide to have him start medication, supplements are a MAJOR importance, to fight off negative side effects. I have links on my profile of what I take and why, and a helpful supplement website for supplements for people with ADHD.

3. If medication is not an option, supplements can greatly help in school and the home life. I would highly recommend the supplement N-Acetyl Tyrosine (it works with Dopamine and Norepinephrine) which deal with motivation and concentration, this greatly helps with studying and lowers the amount of time needed to complete work. The supplement L-Tryptophan would be ideal to take an hour or so before bed, it deals with Serotonin which deals with uplifting mood and helping to get to sleep. Not sure what subtype of ADHD your son has, but if he has Inattentive type he will have "slow onset sleep" which implies that it will take him longer to fall asleep than people without ADHD and the 2 other subtypes of ADHD. This can range from anywhere between 20min to 2hrs or more. Melatonin as you know is also great good deep sleep (I recommend 30mcg 6hr extended release 30min before bed). Markets usually have MILLIGRAMS NOT MICROGRAMS, Micrograms work better. I am working with multiple clients with ADHD who are seeing great success with this combination of supplements.

4. And lastly....a multivitamin style drink to take for breakfast. I'd highly recommend "Orgain Organic shake" it has many vitamins and so many other beneficial nutrients that are really helpful for people with ADHD. Years ago my mom bought me "Ensure" to drink before school and the quality of that drink is far below "Orgain" but that Ensure made a huge positive difference in me.

Hope this helps

[Cjlyn in reply to Eclecticentric77]

Thanks for the information. Yes he is on medication Focalin RX 10mg. He takes this is the am. Whether he is coming off the medication or he doesn’t have it in his system this is how he is. Emotional irrational and angry down right mean if he doesn’t get his way.

[Cjlyn in reply to Cjlyn]

He has 8-9 hours a sleep every night

[Mommyof3boyz in reply to Cjlyn]

My son take Focalin as well. When he first started it was a morning dose. Now he takes a morning dose and when he gets home he takes a half dose to maintain the affect of coming off the early dosage. A huge difference in mood changes. It was terrible, in the evenings, for my son. He didn't understand what was causing him to be irritable. I would get so frustrated with his mood swings, I would make him shower and go to bed. It was causing the household to be angry. Talk with his psychiatrist (or whomever diagnosed him) about changes his intake to twice a day. Hope this helps.

[Cjlyn in reply to Mommyof3boyz]

Thank you will do!

[Rebryan]

I don’t have a lot of advice because my son is the same way. It is so scary for different reasons: how you can not get through to him, how it turns off like a switch, how it effects our relationship, how it makes him feel so bad about himself afterwards.

I don’t have much to say but you aren’t alone! We are going to see a new psychiatrist this week. I’m hoping she can provide some insight or advice. Up until now I’ve just been going to the pediatrician (who is of very little help), asking other parents, reading adhd books and researching on the Internet.

Good luck!!

[Boone541 in reply to Rebryan]

Can you update with any advice you Get from the psychiatrist? Finding one that is covered by HMO insurance has been a daunting task. They are not seeing new patients or will not call back

My 10 year old needs help and I will end up paying the $250 per hour if I have to.

This poor girl goes into rages and feels terrible afterwards.

[jglass3025]

Hello Cjlyn.

I have the same issues. My son is on Vyvanse and he is 12. I think some of his anger comes from puberty, but I am not sure. It can be terrible at times. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am going to talk to his doctor about some of the suggestions made in Eclecticentric77's post and see if any of that will help him, as well.

[Cjlyn in reply to jglass3025]

Thanks for sharing. Right there with you best of luck.

[denak2]

We were having similar issues with my 7 yo daughter on focalin XR 10 mg. Seemed to do better if she had a good night of sleep and/or if she had an afternoon dose of 5 mg focalin non XR. Her resource teacher mentioned anxiety/irratibility at school and suggested it might be the medication. That had not occurred to me. We talked to pediatrician and have now changed medication. Also, stopped giving her melatonin because although it helped her get to sleep, she was getting up in the middle of the night and staying up for hours. And i agree with the other poster, puberty can also causing issues.

[Trpwife07 in reply to denak2]

What does she take now? My son is on Focalin XR 15 mg and lately I've been debating whether it's best for him. It does help him focus but yes he's so moody lately and his anxiety has been flaring up in different situations.

[denak2 in reply to Trpwife07]

We just started her on 18 mg of Concerta. I'm not seeing the anxiety/irratibility but I am seeing nonstop talking and less focus. We will probably try the next higher dose; however, I'm expecting side effects. This is our 3rd medication and I've come to realize there is no silver bullet - they all seem to come with issues.

[Pajamasam36]

As you probably know Anger is a secondary emotion . There is always an emotion that it is masking.

My son has terrible anger as well!

I have been reading about rage. The short outbursts of anger that pass quickly. For my son he has so many things happening in his head with neurology and so much stress surrounding school attorneys and suspensions that I understand his anger. Right now I allow him the anger without guilt but I do express my disappointment that he explodes. I change the subject to something humorous or an event he enjoys. For example I always play last man standing with Tim Allen. It is a comedy sit com about a family of teenage girls. I play it even if he isn’t watching it. Eventually his attention turns to the show and his anger disappears.

Is your sons anger surrounding on task demand? This is a common trigger at my house so I attach a privilege to every on task demand so he can see that doing this task will give him more text time on his phone or Xbox time to play his favorite online game. I use timers for the privileges and for the demands I am making of him. It truely depends on if and when he took his Meds as to how long the anger lasts. We have him on 4 Meds that seem to really help him stabilize his emotions .

He takes methylphenidate for his adhd, intunive for his adhd and Tourettes, abilify for Tourettes ODD and mood stabilization and Zoloft for his anxiety disorder. These Meds really help a lot. It takes 20 minutes for them to begin working and they wear off around 8 at night. We notice a huge difference. He looses control again after 8 and cannot contain his emotions. He is silly , foul, inappropriate, angry , very moody and incredibly loud and wiggly. Then he is so tired he falls fast asleep and we begin again in the morning. He is 14 Years Old and I dont expect him to gain control of himself until he is 16 or 17 and that is literally me hoping he will mature enough to handle all these huge amounts of emotion.

I hope this gives you some ideas for your boy! It is a rough journey! I spend ALOT OF TIME ON MY KNEES AND IN THE TEMPLE! Faith really helps Me understand things better!

We adopted this boy when he was 3 days old. We had no idea what we were getting into. We love him. He has potential. He is a good boy and does look for the best in life. His battle is real and I try not to take it personally. He needs us and we need to fight and advocate for him until he can fight and advocate for himself. Our neighbors family friends and complete strangers judge us unfairly. We usually ignore them but if their is hope that they will understand we will talk to them. It generally doesn’t change anything he is ALWAYS misunderstood. Parents are so important for these kiddos God bless! Jeep fighting the fight and never give up or surrender!

[Cjlyn in reply to Pajamasam36]

Thank you so much for sharing. Truly helps hearing from others.

[svetlana40]

Hi Cjlyn. No advice but wanted to share that this issue is familiar to us as well. My 7yo has ADHD Hyperactive type and is on 10mg of Ritalin in AM only. He tends to get very dysregulated, silly, opositional and angry when he is tired (typically at night). More tired he is, more difficult it is to put him to bed. Sometimes he hits as well. He is loving and kind child but it is so difficult to access that part of him when he is angry and dysregulated.

[Cjlyn in reply to svetlana40]

Thank you for sharing makes me feel I am not alone.

[Cjlyn]

Thanks for sharing, I am right there with you and no my pediatrician has no answers for me. Thinking of Behavioral therapy.

[HCTW]

Good string of posts. Same issues. Our son is 10. Same issues. Started a chart in Excel to track daily meds and behavior. Currently taking Intuniv and tripetal in the morning and Chlonidine and trileptal at night. Was taking Vyvanse in the morning. Noticed the intensity of outbursts was significantly less each day we didn't take Vyvanse. Off it 4 days straight now. Attention is more of a problem but I'll take the attention issues over the crazy, late, out of control nights any day! Has anyone else tracked meds and behaviors and noticed a correlation? Frustrated between all the doctors (Pediatrician, Psychologist, Psychiatrist, and Counselor) nobody suggested this from the beginning!

[Cjlyn in reply to HCTW]

My son was on Focalin RX 10mg every morning. He was having complete rage episodes, anger or aggression afternoons and night. I couldn’t take it anymore. This is his 3rd week off the medication and what a difference. Still see fustrations and emotional dysregulation but nothing compared to when on his meds. He is struggling with attention at school but him be more relaxed and happier is more important to me then grades. I am waiting to meet with a specialist before switching and trying something new in regards to medication.