Please help me, help my son focus and listen

[Severianoj]

Hi I’m new here my son is 8 and has ADHD he is a smart and nicest boy but I have difficult time of him listening either at school or at home I have to repeat my self several time to not do things. The teacher tells me he’s really smart but he gets too distracted and lose focus. The teacher tries to help me but it’s so little she can do when she has 20 other students to teach. I really need help on what to do with my son, on how to keep him focus and listen more.

[jjoljo]

I am new to the community and hope to find some informative threads. My daughter is 7 and was recently diagnosed. I am having the same issues at home and at school.

[daemaitehn]

This is a tough one. My daughter was recently diagnosed and at times experiences the same thing of needing to be told repeatedly and loosing focus. This is realistically just part of the condition. It has greatly helped me to know that this is just the condition and how most children with ADHD are. We need to be sympathetic, helpful, and understanding when we find ourselves repeating the same thing over and over. Realistically, we need to be very clear as they may not always see the consequences or understand the long term.

As for school, is the teacher aware of what ADHD is and how to help? Potentially your son needs a aide to help with this? I believe if there is a education plan which requires this, it would be legally required they provide this to assist. If grades are starting to suffer, medication might be something to try. I have not tried medication yet with my daughter as it has not been needed yet. It is certainly something I am still struggling at times internally. There are some fantastic videos on Youtube I could provide if interested.

Hopefully this helps.

[mamaoftwo]

I know how you feel. My son is the same way. He gets distracted, doesn't listen. My son is 9 years old and we are going to get him evaluated because his behavior is affecting his grades.

[Severianoj]

The teacher recommend me for him to sit on a yoga ball during class, she said it helps them focus. You guys can try to do that. I’ll let u guys know if that works or not, Finger cross though hopefully that’s one step can help.

[kdogchef72]

I'm am going through the same with my 6 year old son. We are trying the ball chair too. He was just diagnosed with inattentive ADHD, last week, but the psychologist does not want to medicate due to family history of anxiety. We are frustrated to have a diagnosis but not yet an affective plan.

[Severianoj in reply to kdogchef72]

Just try not to be too frustrated, kids with ADHD need lots of patient and support. I know how how u guys might feel but try to be really patient with your kid and try to discover what plans u guys can do for your son. It’s hard at first but time will show u results and will make it a little easier for you guys.

[kdogchef72]

Thanks. It's not my son I'm frustrated with it is the school and psychologist!!! He really exhibits the behavior when at school and around a lot of children. He just does his own thing when in class but not hyperactive. Inattentiveness and ability to focus are really what we need help with. Fortunately we haven't experienced any negative social or aggressive behavior from him. He's a very sweet and loving little boy. We didn't see the signs because at home he's relaxed and easygoing. Just cannot seem to get into school and writing. Struggling with all the kids around to focus.

[Actionword]

My 8 year old also struggles with an inability to focus in class, although he’s more on task now that the teacher made a list of things to do for him after completion of the assignment. That list is what the rest of the class sees on the board, but his list is hidden in his desk. My only guess is that looking at the board meant looking up and getting distracted by the other students, so the desk list works for him. It would’ve been taped to top of his desk, but he feels ‘singled out’ by it there, so for now, inside the desk works. I have also been supplementing with Omega-3’s, which are thought to help with focus, but that is something with which a pediatrician or perhaps a pediatric neurologist can help guide. For me, a great resource has been ADDitude magazine online. I downloaded free PDFs with advice for parents and talking points with teachers. They even have ‘how-to’s’ for asking for an IEP and 504 plan. I’m just glad I found this forum here to see that I’m not the only one struggling to help and understand what my son is going through! Hang in there.

[Applecrisp]

Our son is also 8, with combined type ADHD symptoms. We deal with this EVERY DAY. We have tried so many tips and techniques. Lists, rewards systems, taking away privileges, being more positive. Bottom line: it’s really hard to get him to listen, focus, be more organized, stop losing things, stop hurting other kids with impulsive actions. After two years of work we’re at the point where he kinda sorta sees what he did and that he should behave differently, but has almost no ability to control his behavior ahead of time. There is clearly no magic bullet but counseling has helped a little, mainly in the areas of picky eating and arguing less with us parents. We are ready to try medication. For me, I’m just working on not losing it and yelling (it does make him listen but I know it’s not a healthy dynamic). I’m trying to develop the ability to repeat myself calmly over and over without gettting irritated. It’s a struggle, but I guess not as hard as it is for him to learn to focus when his mind is underfed and blinking all over the place.

[Onthemove1971]

Severianoj-

Thanks for discussing this with the group. I assume at this time you are making the choice to not use medication with your child. I am not sure how much you understand about ADHD with hyperactivity, but what often happens is that a child especially one around the age of your child is, they get so hyper focused on what they are doing that they do not want to stop what they are doing to listen. They are not trying to not listen, this is part of the condition. So you have to train him and others how to deal with it.

I am not sure why you are upset with the school psyschologist, but I wanted to give you some advice becuase when children leave elementary school it gets a lot more challanging. Imagine dealing with 6 teachers and each of those teachers have 125-175 kids in their clases in total. They do not have time to spend doing extra things for kids.

So it is your best interest to do everything you can now to help your child, school interventions, medical intervention, counseling becuase it is going to get much harder. There are many things that change social interactions, more responsability, academics...

I really wish I had this blog and this advice becuase I learned the hard way..

Best of luck.