High school?: Our son just started his... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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High school?

Onthemove1971 profile image
11 Replies

Our son just started his Freshman year on high school and I am not sure if it becuase of COVID, but it a lot of work ( 3 quizzes in 1 class 2x a week, other tests, PLUS 6-7 assignment after sitting in Zoom for hours. Plus math and english assessments.

The hardest part is he is tired after attending Zoom classes so it is hard to review and study for exams.

We tried to allow him to manage it all on his own and that did not work.

In addition there are constantly technology problems. He needs a cell phone to take pictures on his math work and attach it. His phone was old and had issues sending so he got an F on the test.

I just never imagined it would be like this. It is also fully graded with very little slack. I get that it could be like this for Sophomores and Jr.s, but Freshman are not even comfortable with high school classes.

What are other parents experiencing?

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Onthemove1971 profile image
Onthemove1971
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11 Replies
ADHD_DAD profile image
ADHD_DAD

You are quite often the first to respond to people with helpful advice and I hope that people will be as willing to help as you always are. Since my son's school does not resume until after Labor Day (and most of the local public schools do not resume here until mid September), I am limited to wishing you well and hoping (for your sake and ours) that this is only temporary. Hang in there! Sending you good wishes!

sgriff3074 profile image
sgriff3074

Have you spoken to his teachers, guidance counselors etc. about the problems he’s having. Does he have an IEP or 504 plan? Maybe they need to revise his homework/ assignments load and also give him extra time to complete his them.

Olddognewtricks profile image
Olddognewtricks

So if he’s willing to let you help him get organized and intervene, that’s wonderful. I would reach out to the teachers and see if there isn’t a way to work through some of the issues. If the phone didn’t work, could he have additional time to get it in? I would also talk to the counselor about his course load and the types of classes he’s taking. Maybe there could be some adjustments.

Some of this is a function of the online education . Unfortunately high school is significantly more difficult for ADHD kids than middle school, no matter what the format. Good luck!

Keylove profile image
Keylove

My Grandson is a freshman boy as well, he lives with us and started a new school here. School is on line as well and has an IEP, I’ve been staying in touch with teachers who are also adapting to this new way of teaching. They have been helpful with giving more time during class to do the work. It’s rough all around for everyone hope your son adapts. We are still working on it over here!

Onthemove1971 profile image
Onthemove1971

Thanks everyone! Yes he has a 504 plan and the teachers have been good with helping him.

I guess my post was more about seeing if other families feeling this way?

With the large number of assignments given it feels like the teachers don't get the difference between online and in person learning.

It's just not the same.

For example: We can sit and go over math problems with our son and he gets %99 correct. But when he tries online, F.

For our kids sitting at a screen watch some random person explain a math concept, then them applying it, is not the same as him sitting in a classroom with the teacher in front of him.and him raising his hand when needed.

All I can say is it really needs to get back to real in person instruction soon.

Just wondered if other are having the same experience.

Best wishes. Your son is fortunate to have you in his corner. Here, we are struggling with the demands of 8th grade and all new teachers except for one. I’m confident that once we get into the rhythm we will figure it out. So will you.

I tell my son every year that it gets harder by design to prepare him for college and adulthood.

Harder yes, but never too hard for where he is in his development and ability.

Boymom2003 profile image
Boymom2003

My son is now a senior in high school. I have learned that he is not a fan of his father or me helping him. He wants to be independent yet still struggles with the common ADHD problems of procrastination, losing focus and so on. We found that having him accountable to someone else (a teacher, an aid, tutor or mentor) put his feet to the fire. What I noticed with my son's high school experience was that freshman and junior years are the hardest and staying on task is mandatory. When we went to distance learning last year we put up a large write on/wipe off calendar in his room so we could visually see deadlines. He also uses his phone to time himself. He will allow himself 1 hour of home work and then 30 minutes off by setting alarms. I hope some of these ideas will be helpful.

I know what you mean but didn't thought about it until now. My son is in the 10th grade and after 9th grade I was definitely looking for a virtual school before Covid, and fortunately his school district offered the opportunity. In my area, parents have the options of returning their kids to school or virtual. I have one and one. My 10th grader does the virtual, it's different then what you are describing for your son, there's no zoom, just subject materials that he reads, videos and this month,, some teachers are doing livelesson, then take a test or a quiz, Every day there's something in each class, he has 4 classes and just like you say quizzes, test, essay, each class every day. Surprisly he is keeping up (with reinforcements) my son has a habit that after his stress factor of something new wears off, he back off doing his work and slack off. The one thing about the virtual school my son attends, is that he can resubmit his work. He did have a couple of failing grades, that he could have redo it but did not put in the request. At first, I wanted him to do this virtual independently but no such luck. I have to monitor him. Anyway, as for the work load we are with you, for my son though, I believe it's understandable because his semester ends 10/1/20 , it began 8/12/20. So he's doing more work in a less period of time. Where as my other son who attends school will receive lesson until the Thanksgiving break and my other son will be finish in October until the next semester in Jan when it will start all over again. Perhaps that is why your son has a heavy workload as well. Some of the suggestions concerning his 504 plan for extra time seems reasonable, .

Serenity1526 profile image
Serenity1526

If he has accommodations I would continue advocating through communication with staff. My nephew has an IEP and my sons has a 504. Virtual learning has been so challenging for these kids. My son just started middle school. The variety and classes and workload is something he’s not accustomed to. My sister and I have to stay on top of the communication with our different schools so the kids can get their needs met. My son takes breaks and usually some form of movement helps. He gets frustrated because learning doesn’t come as easy for him. We tell him to do the best he can. In terms of the grading process the school absolutely needs to address accommodations. They are supposed to be setting him up for success and doing whatever is necessary to ensure he’s afforded opportunities to thrive. My sister and I don’t pull any punches and often we feel like nags 🤷‍♀️. I don’t really care tbh. I will do what it takes to make sure my child gets what he needs.

Ocjd profile image
Ocjd

Hi Onthemove!

My DS is now a junior but I will say it is a double whammy for any ADHD frosh this year. First, the work load in the first year in HS does increase exponentially from middle school for most kids. Second, doing it via Zoom is very trying on everyone's brain. I hate sitting on more than 2 hours of Zoom meetings for work so I can't imagine what it's like for our kids to have to sit through multiple hours AND have to learn what is being transmitted.

My DS is fortunate in that he had two years of non-online to get used to HS and his hard classes.

If your DS has a difficult class schedule as well, it's even triply difficult.

My DD who is an 8th grader who is NOT ADD but is also very gifted like my DS hates online learning as she finds it makes her zone out. She's finally getting the hang of it after two weeks of school.

So I totally feel your pain on this. I would look into perhaps seeing if there is a way to rearrange his classes so that his hardest classes are when he is freshest?

Also perhaps for math, look into a tutor so that he is at least getting familiar with the material through another avenue. Of course, unless you pretty comfortable with it, the tutoring would be by zoom as well.

GardenGranny profile image
GardenGranny

Sounds like a really hard school. I would be talking about accommodations such as modified assignments and extended time. We are struggling just to get our son to tune into his freshman classes. He is really unmotivated. But his teachers have been supportive so far.

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