My beautiful 9 year old grandson has ADHD with ODD and the ODD is getting worse.

[1mare]

hi, I haven't written in quite some time, so here's what is going on; my grandson is now 9 years old, has ADHD and ODD, perfect 👌 combo. Anyway, he is a bright, smart, funny, loves to laugh (his,laughter can be contagious) boy.. He can be so nice and gentle, however once the time limit has exceeded on the Xbox his personality will change, he can be mean, nasty, impulsive, once the outbursts begin he is uncontrollable, throwing things, the doorknob came off from door slamming, I refuse to replace it..my grandson will not take time outs (sent to his room) he just won't budge from location of tantrums start. I have physically picked him up to go to his room,and right back out he comes. So then a grounding, loss of electronic, playdate, even a loss of playing in his sport; I have gone through the reward system using a chart with daily expectations!. The rewards can be anything he enjoys with earning tokens each day, if he loses a few one day it can be earned with positive behavior...he sees a psychiatrist, was put on Prozac for anxiety and eventually Adderall for ADHD...he has a lot of impulsive behavior in class (not aggressive), not paying attention to the teacher, fortunately his grades are good for now.; I took him off the Adderall because a twitch developed in his mouth , which this is just One of the Side effects of stimulates. He is going this month to see a neurologist., maybe there will be some help..I can go on and on with details of our days and nights but I am certain it's all behavior everyone in this position experiences....so all I want to say is after he sees the neurologist, maybe some help other then medication is there. I know it's behavior modification, but how do you modify a childs behavior who doesn't care about the consequences?

[eversolepm]

Take the Xbox. He has a choice, comply with the time limit set or no Xbox. My son would be the same way with electronics. He has to earn his video game time and when he gets it he is supposed to start a timer to keep track of the time he is allowed to play. This requires him to acknowledge that he understands exactly when he is supposed to be off the game. We make it clear to him that he has a choice turn the game off when time is up or he will lose video game privileges for a designated amount of time. We don't even make a big deal out of it. Calmly state that "oh it looks like you've chosen to lose your Xbox for ? time." and then move on. Don't keep making comments or anything. He will get ticked off and yell or scream or whatever he usually does. You have to remain calm. Its important that he understands it was his choice. When we started my only lost privileges for a few days but then as soon as he got his Xbox back we would have to take it away again. Each time though we would make it longer. You might find yourself taking it away for a whole month or longer. Whatever it takes for them to understand they have a choice. Follow the rules or abuse the privilege and lose it. We now have a kid who doesn't throw tantrums about turning off his game. Is he always so diligent about watching his timer and turning it off right away. Not at all. We still usually have to remind him to set a timer and when it goes off he doesn't hear it so he has to be reminded of the choice he has to make but at least we don't have the outburst over turning off the game. Having him earn his time helps too because this restricts the time he uses it and it keeps from having to deal with a kid on video games when he should be doing chores or schoolwork.