Grandson with ADHD and Autistic o - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

CHADD's ADHD Parents Together

13,601 members4,340 posts

Grandson with ADHD and Autistic o

Tiger70 profile image
Tiger70

I need some guidance, my grandson has been diagnosed with ADHD and autism. Both my kids struggled in school and up to their 20’s my wife at that time suffered with depression, both of my kids were placed in group homes. I lost them when they needed love and unconditional care. My son now 44 recommends to seek a home or location were they are educated in the field of children with social problems and all the rest that comes along. I do not want to put him in the system or give up. My son sees himself in my grandson!!!! I need help I’m very confused!!!!

Sent from my iPhone

19 Replies

Don’t give up. My son has adhd and autism too. He’s on guanfacine 3mg for his adhd it reduces hyperactivity and takes sertraline/Zoloft 0.25ml daily to help with his anxiety. Both are covered by insurance so I don’t pay out of pocket for these two meds. I also enrolled into the IHSS program locally so I am now my sons care provider and get paid to take care of him since he has a lot more needs then a regular kid. Autistic kids need behavior therapy and some need speech therapy for speech delays. Public schools offer some of the supports through their Special Education programs so your grandson can get the therapies he needs at no cost to you. He would benefit from behavior therapy outside school through insurance referral. If you set him up on the right meds it will give him the balance he needs to be more functional. Don’t give up.

Tiger70 profile image
Tiger70 in reply to wonders2

Our situation is different his mother is currently receiving help with schizophrenia. In a facility. Orion lives with grandma and not the best situation for both of them, she tries. We are reviving assistance from ASD. They provide in home therapist 4 hrs. 4 days a week, spends weekend with me! I work and single she is retired but a senior. My son had problems with drugs, jail, currently he is doing great. He tells me he sees himself in Orion. My kids grew up in the system, group homes and I do not want this for Orion my son insist on me retiring and putting Orion in a place were he can get profesional help . I don’t want Orion to have that life!!!!

wonders2 profile image
wonders2 in reply to Tiger70

I think your son needs to step up and help out too. Sounds like grandma and grandpa are taking huge responsibilities. Help is needed from grandparents but your son has to help out more. I don’t think you should retire I think your son needs to help orion more. I have two disabled kids and work and I am making it happen for both Boys. I don’t get much sleep but that’s ok I don’t care they are everything to me. Wish you all best of luck and wish Orion the best care possible from your family and community resources.

Tiger70 profile image
Tiger70 in reply to wonders2

Unfortunately that will never happen 1 he doesn’t live around here 2 he’s behaving like his mother!!!! Selfish !!!!!! Not she was back then, she has changed

Tiger70 profile image
Tiger70 in reply to wonders2

Thank you! If you. If u have any information or know any place let me know

I would say put yourself in your grandson's shoes and then make a decision.....Whats best for him! Explore your options! Whats going to be better for him..., Whatever you decide should have his best interest in it. It might be very hard decision but remember you did what is going to help him! Prayers and Best Wishes for you.

Tiger70 profile image
Tiger70 in reply to Nanchli

Thanks for your advice. It’s a hard decision. I have reached out for guidance, I’m willing to do what’s best for him. Before I turn him over. This is why I’m reaching to the community!!!!

Nanchli profile image
Nanchli in reply to Tiger70

Yes Completely understand!

Nanchli profile image
Nanchli in reply to Tiger70

Also I would say if you are able to devote your life towards him and to his needs then definitely continue doing what you doing, ask your family and friends for help! Create a support team of friends and family! Have them help you as they spend quality time with your grandson doing activities he enjoy........Use that time to do things you enjoy doing.......You need to take care of yourself at the same time. Just remember you are a blessing in your grandson's life. Things are not gonna be easier for either one of you (Trust me I am saying this from my own experience with my son).......But "YOU GOT THIS"......Take a deep breath, Go with your gut feeling and whatever you decide give it your 100%, don't even look at other option, Just say that was only option.

Tiger70 profile image
Tiger70 in reply to Nanchli

🙏🏼 Thank you!!

Nanchli profile image
Nanchli in reply to Tiger70

I am not sure what kind of diet and meds your grandson is on, Def, try fish oil and vitamins (I heard smartypants both vitamins and minerals types) are really good. Its worth a try and also Brillia (homeopathic med) has worked wonders for one of my friend, unfortunately it didn't work for my son. But I just started fish oil and vitamins with him and try to avoid diary to see if it helps!

Tiger70 profile image
Tiger70 in reply to Nanchli

He’s not on any meds yet!

Nanchli profile image
Nanchli in reply to Tiger70

Got ya! ........I have done plenty of search and tried countless things. I have seen some improvements with certain things but I think I have to be more patient for things to work and if one thing that work for one might not work for another. So gotta keep trying!!!!!!!But there is always this hope and I think certain things do help! You can try with above recommendations if you like. Feel free if you any questions and you think I can help answer any questions.......Your post shows your affection and care towards your grandson, and thats awesome! Good Luck, take care!

Tiger70 profile image
Tiger70 in reply to Nanchli

Thank you! Today we went to park. Not a good time! He puts his hands on other kids and orders kids and their parent. Fighting, taking their toys loud. At one point he was pushing a child to the edge and would had fallen about 7” please help me help him

Nanchli profile image
Nanchli in reply to Tiger70

Sorry to hear about your day! You can start with SMARTYPANTS (MINERALS AND CHEW) KIDS version and Fish Oil (Amazon is best place for me to get these from)........Someone recommended Brillia to me which has worked amazing for her daughter unfortunately it gave nose bleeds to my son but it was helping him......My son is prone to nose bleeds so it might work for others who wanna try :) I am also looking into getting his iron levels checked....Another thing is diet change! ADDITUDE IS my fav website to look for info. Understood,org is also good, Educate yourself so you can help him :) I have also messaged you, take care!

My son has ADHD and Autism also. He is now 17 and has come a long way. It seems you need support and resources. They are out there but may take time to find and sign up for. The Autism Speaks has contact info to find resources in your area. Putting your grandson in a group home/residential setting should be a last resort option. You may be able to find a good one that caters to people with Autism but it depends. I’m not sure what state you are located in (I’m in NY) but contact your state’s Office for People with Disabilities and ask what you need to do to start getting staff and other at home supports for him. Therapy at home is good but the staff/therapist or an additional person is needed to provide direct support to him to work on goals in the community (at the park). Care.com has an option for special needs caregivers and you may have to sign up and contact people for services if you are able to provide direct payment. Many people on that site list an unrealistically high pay rate, but tell them what youre willing to pay and the amount of hours you are looking for help per week. In NY there are state services where they pay for Direct Service staff to assist the child at home and in the community and pay the staff through a disability agency. Also look into disability advocacy groups in your area for more info. I wish you luck. Message me if you have questions.

We live in Orange County CA

Social Skills | Regional Center of Orange County rcocdd.com/frc/ccfrc/resour...

Behavior Challenges | Regional Center of Orange County

rcocdd.com/frc/ccfrc/resour...

Comfort Connection Family Resource Center | Regional Center of Orange County

rcocdd.com/frc/ccfrc/

Ask other parents in your area (can search for autism parent support groups in your area) if they know anyone with a child in a residential school for children with autism and find out if they like it and if it has a good reputation. It can take years for improvements in behavior and other things in general so dont despair even though its so hard and painful since you love him so much and sometimes it feel like nothings working. Try to go to the park at times where there arent many people. Or to a lesser known place until he has better control of himself and is not causing problems or endangering anyone. Also see if someone with experience working with our type of kids can come to the park with you.

I know a family who’s child has been in a residential school since they were 10 (now 21). He has made improvements over time and is more independent and visits his family’s home often. You should be able to pick him up and bring him to your home after school and on weekends or school breaks when you want to after an initial acclimation period. Or visit if its far. You can tell him that its like Harry Potter going to Hogwarts. MyAutismTeam is another website to find other parents.I hope you can find the answers. I will pray for him. He has such a beautiful name!

Here are some resources I found online near you. Just keep asking around to be more informed so you can make the best decision.

(Scroll for titles that mention opportunities to talk with other parents)

Family Autism Network - Autism Resources and Events

faninfo.org/

Parent to Parent Outreach

fsn-oc.org/programs/complex...

Information, Referral and Resource Program

fsn-oc.org/programs/informa...

Autism | Regional Center of Orange County

rcocdd.com/frc/ccfrc/resour...

These are for services at home and in community if he will not be going to a residential program...

Home and Community-Based Services Programs - CA Department of Developmental Services

dds.ca.gov/initiatives/hcbs/

dds.ca.gov/initiatives/sdp/...

Possibly contact Stephanie Loo from AANE (non profit agency) (they are located in NY and Mass. but she is knowledgable). Sign up to schedule a phone call (see webpage). Tell her your situation and that you need help finding out where the best residential schools for autism are. And next steps.

Good luck ❤️

This has a lot of info about living arrangements for him. Especially #16 and on .

disabilityrightsca.org/syst...

You may also like...