Help its a holiday!

I used to love holidays or time off, but I don't anymore. My wife says I'm pessimistic thinking that there will be problems, but I know there will be. I get so irratable and short tempered. I feel so lonely as no one really understands. I have had 'therapy' and done CBT but I still feel as bad. I have coping strategies but that only causes problems as I like to shut myself away and listen to music. I just get called selfish or lazy if I sit down. I have two teenage sons who both know how to wind me up.

I get so frustrated with life. I have two weeks off work with the family and wondered if anyone can give me advice how to cope. Thanks

9 Replies

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  • I have two weeks off, too! Plan time for yourself - a few trips to B&Q for essential bits that you can't possibly do without. I'm sure they won't want to go too ... Cinema trip? Great way to sit in silence for two hours while seeming to be sociable. Give the boys money to get them out of your hair. Family time doesn't automatically become brilliant just because you're off work. I feel for you, I don't much like the hols, although I'm coping quite well this time round ...

  • if you can- get outside for a bit each day- even if its only 10 minutes- i hope you will be ok- thinking of you x

  • I hate holiday times too. I am divorced with a 23 yr old son who has flown the nest which I am happy for him.

    I just feel at holiday times make me feel worse as I imagine everyone else is out & abojt enjoying themselves.

    However, if I was asked to go anywhere I would say no. I hate being around people trying to be sociable. I dont like being with people, crowds etc as it makes me anxious & could cause a panic attack. I prefer to live in my own wee bubble with what I am used too.

    Good luck & take care.

    Jackie

  • Hi there Holidays can be hard for some people, because everyone is together 24 hours a day. Plan a few trips out, Cinema is good and you forget all about your own troubles too. Dont be anticipating the worst, just take it one day at a time, rather than think " omg 2 weeks" . Could you all go out for a nice meal, too. I live alone so I have no one to annoy me, but I get lonely too, but I will have one friend coming over, and will try and have a nice Easter. Good luck and try not to worry too much. Hannah

  • Hi

    I'm sorry, I can't really be much help with this one because right now I envy you for having people around although I know that can be difficult too.

    It sounds like you mistrust yourself to be able to just enjoy having the holiday. What would you like to be doing with your time - staying away from people a lot, going out on your own, choosing what happens? Once you have some idea what goes wrong during holidays that makes you short-tempered you might be in a better position to prevent those things from happening so much, maybe by setting limits or being assertive.

    Suexx

  • Thanks everybody. I feel more positive now.

  • Ok You need to make a plan for the holidays that give you time to yourself so you can get through the times you have to spend doing things you don't want.

    Do you have a dog that you can take out for walks?

    Could you volunteer to get the food shopping? Food shopping is out if you can face it you can fly around the asiles do it in 1/2 the expected time and spend the rest of the time sitting in the car listening to your music.

    Do you have an elderly relative that you could visit? You can say how they are feeling lonely.

    Can you give your teenage sons vouchers for the cinema or bowling alley? This is a good way to get them out from under your feet and give you time to yourself.

    I'm just trying to give you ideas be creative and sorry to say cunning in order to get the time you need.

  • Ask the kids what they want to do,,, then when you have tired them out, then you might get some peace and quiet,, are you depressed,,,?

  • Oh its okay to say to them, right you have had your time, now respect, I need my time. then they learn respect..for you.

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