I'm stuck

I'm feeling less despondent than I was earlier in the week. I am sitting in my house which is in a state. I'm not talking a few things that are scattered about but mess everywhere. I have to clean up as I am looking after a dog (golden Retriever). The only thing is my brain cannot focus on doing it. There is things that are around that have been there for over a year, as nobody ever visits me and I live alone I never clear up! What's the point?. Every time I try to focus on doing something I end up doing something else such as playing games on the internet! Just the thought of clearing up makes me feel anxious. I'll be just moving stuff from one room to another. I am really forward to looking after the dog, I love going out walking (better in warm sun) and meeting people. Everything I need to do is overwhelming me. I know I need to start somewhere but I'm feeling so anxious. I can't even remember when the dog is coming but if I phone the owner (a GP friend) she'll think I'm not with it and think I won't be able to cope and won't bring the dog.

Every decision I have to make there is something else I have to do first, which I can't face so I end up doing nothing. I feel like an animal which is caught in the headlights!

Well this won't sort everything out, 20 mins games then tidying here I come...(hopefully)

8 Replies

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  • I know exactly how you are feeling. The need to tidy my house engulfs me sometimes. I just stare at the mess and then play candy crush saga instead. Get a bag and fill it with twenty pieces of rubbish, put it your wheelie bin then have a break. Then take the cups and plates by the sink and have another break. Then put some clothes in the washing machine. By then your house might start a little bit tidier and you might feel a bit happier. At that point you might feel like doing some more. Or you might play some more candy crush and fall asleep! Good luck xx

  • Thanks for your comment. Very helpful, also very helpful that I'm not alone in playing candy crush. Good news is I've completed todays bubble witch saga and the dog is coming a 6pm so I've got no excuses!?

  • I know the feeling, trachet.

    I moved to a new flat a few months ago and I still haven't decorated, properly unpacked or done any of the things I had intended to do.

    Tidying the place up just seems so insurmountably difficult, doesn't it?

    I think Suzie has had a good idea though, in trying to break it down into little bits.

    I wish I could help, but as it is, I can just empathise.

    Good luck - you're braver than I am in offering to take care of an animal!

  • Hi

    I'm glad you are feeling less despondent than you were earlier in the week.

    I wonder whether the difficulty in clearing up things in the flat relates to a difficulty in facing a mess that you feel emotionally, maybe the difficulty in knowing what to do, how to prioritise?

    If you are happy with the mess then it doesn't matter too much so long as it doesn't cause your dog a problem, but if you are unhappy then maybe working with someone on cleaning up your mental muddle will help you to clean up the home? CBT might be very helpful, you could ask your GP to refer you if you haven't already tried that kind of help.

    It's great that you like going out and meeting people, that's a really good source of support and keeps all of us from feeling worse than we do. It's great too that you've got such a lovely dog, I love retrievers, definitely my favourite breed, I would love one although I never have had one. Unfortunately my husband doesn't want a dog, but when we move house (when we can sell our present house) I will find a way to persuade him as I dogs take us out into the world.

    Enjoy yourself on the computer, writing here and gaming, you're not answerable to anyone except yourself. Don't beat yourself up about being how you are, but if you are unhappy with not being someone who clears up then do ask your GP to refer you.

    Take care, and give the dog a cuddle from me,

    Suexx

  • Apart from the fact that I surf the web rather than playing games, the comments about the house could have been written by myself. The things I needed to do by early morning now aren't necessary, as the rat show has been cancelled because of the weather.

  • Thanks for all your comments. They really help. It is nice to know I am not the only stressed out messy person out there. I was brought up by a cleaning and tidy obsessed mother. Although she died over 24 years ago the stress of not being tidy, even though no one except me knows gets crippling. Oh well Daisy the dog has arrived and the house is a bit tidier. 2 steps forward and 1 back, but at least it is forward!

  • Hope you have fun with Daisy. Our dog brings us a lot of pleasure even tho he is naughty. I agree with the step by step method for everything to do with depression and anxiety. Looking at the big picture is too frightening , so small steps. trachet. We all know how you are feeling so writing on here and getting help from people who know is brilliant. Walkies now!! And all the very best. xx

  • Hi I am sitting here in my home too which is littered and I keep trying to clear it up. But I get a little way and the anxiety kicks in. I bet mine is worse than yours!! If you do yours I will do mine. Promise...

    Bev xx

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