Walking around town, it's full of people, just walking around busy with their own lives. Just a simple day in town ey? Not for me. When I go to town or anywhere with a crowd I die inside, I know what will happen. I know as soon as I step off that bus that I'm hit with anxiety and depression, I'm walking around wondering why everybody is staring? As soon as im settled in a cafe i notice somebody staring at me and the questions start in my mind. What are they thinking? Are they crazy? Are they rich? Are they poor? Do they have a family? Why do they have a Beatles keyring? Why are they smiling? Are they going through the same hell I am? I have lived like this since I was 14 and now 8 years later its worse, I question everything people do, I question everything I do. If somebody tells me they went to work had dinner then came home I would then wonder what did they have for dinner? How much did they pay for dinner? How did they get to work? What did they wear? By now you get a little understanding of my mind, the worst part is when these questions turn into hate. I can watch tv like CSI:NY and again the questions come up, what if I turn into a murderer a thief or something much worse? The thing is I know I am none of those and never will be but why does this happen? I get so fed up with my mind constantly questioning. I hate the thought of waking up and living this life, I give up so much in life I often question, when will depression give up and leave?
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