As I said yesterday I had an appointment with a guy who is going to represent me at my Tribunal. All I can say is I felt like a criminal. He was shouting at me because my ESA Papers which I filled in on 2011 was all about my aches & pains & nothing much about what I originally claimed ESA for which was Depression/Anxiety & Panick Attacks. He said the other things about my back/hips & diagnoses of Fibromyalgia did'nt count as they should have been made as new claims. He said he will do his best with the information I have provided him with which were reports from a Physciatric Unit I attended and reports which say I have been treated and found to have Fibromyalgia.
He told me the Fibromyalgia wont wash with the Tribunal as it is not a proven illness.
He said he will do his best with my Physciatric Reports as that was what I first claimed sickness benefit & was awarded ESA. All of this stuff is completely double dutch to me.
I worked 30 years of my life & have been claiming ESA for almost 4 years. This is the first time I have been told I was awarded zero points & was deemed fit for work & to appeal which is what I did.
I have been feeling very down as it is & after my meeting today with this man, who I cannot say was very pleasant with me. He had me in tears & I am now at home feeling very distressed.
He told me it is his job to proved the people who found me fit for work are wrong. He read their report & nowhere in it does it mention my mental health so he has to prove they did not do their job properly.
I now feel frightened, he reckons we will get a date for the tribunal very soon. He told me if I loose I will not recieve benefits for 26 weeks & how am I going to live if I dont.
I really dont understand the system. All I know & I feel like a child is that if I loose my benefits & home I can go back & live with my parents. They wanted me to stay with them tonight because of the state I am in. I just wanted to come home. I am going to ring my cousin & tell her exactly what I thought of her barrister friend. He was very abrupt & treated me like a criminal & thats how I have been left feeling.
I have been feeling very down these past few weeks but after this afternoon I feel totally devestated, I know thats not the right word but I am in bits. He gave off to me for putting my telephone number on the form I filled in. He told me they can ring or come & call at my door anytime & if I'm not there, they will say I was out enjoying myself. I have caller display on my phone & if its a witheld number I wont answer because if they dont want me to know who they are I'm not going to speak to them. Thats just me. When I get really depressed I dont answer my phone to anyone or open my door. My family all have keys & if they call they can let themselves in. I just want to get into my bed & stay there. I feel terrified.
Thats all I can say. I am hurting & feeling as low as can be. It was the most unpleasant experience. In my eyes I have committed no offence but have been left feeling like I have.
As for the Tribunal itself I do not know what to expect & feel like not turning up & going to live with my parents.
I have just turned 50 & now feel like a 15 yr old. They probably know more about the system than I do.
Good luck to you all & I hope you never have to experience anything like I did today.