Hai, my name is Emma (even though my username is Sasha) and I'm pretty confused on who I basically am right now. I think I'm depressed when I'm alone and away from my friends but when I'm with someone else I am really happy and enthusiastic. My mood can change quite drastically when I'm doing homework and I can go from confident to confused, crying and basically saying to myself over and over that I'm a failure. My parents do think I have some form of autism as I am unable to think properly, get confused easily (as you can tell) and get distracted a lot. Also I get scared very easily by loud noises and hate tight spaces and crowded places.
In primary school, I was bullied a lot for being an educated child as I went to a very bad and rough school. As soon as I entered high school, my grades dropped and I lost confidence in myself, but I made many friends.
Right now I'm in year 10 and preparing to do GCSE s and I am extremely stressed. I hardly ever listen in class and I am always tired. Sometimes I think that I am useless and think suicidal thoughts which now I think about, are really petty and stupid.
I really need help right now and I'm struggling a lot to keep myself together. I'm really sorry if you had to read through all that shit I just said but if your still reading, please just give me some advice! I'm too scared to tell my parents, doctors or friends about what I'm going through and this is my only hope. Plz.... Xoxo