Hi campers I've had a few rough days and nights, I do OCD rituals everyday from waking to sleeping, have umpteen panick attacks per day, feel I'm dyeing to scared to sleep electric shocks in my head waking with sheer panick and gasping for air,sleep paralysis awake but cant move, de personalization wake and my wallpaper is different confusion of what I'm doing and why, sensation of not being in my body, looking at oneself outside, close my eyes and see a mirror like image but water and when it clears I'm in a room carpets doors pictures and people comming towards me shouting talking but i cant he's what they're saying. Leaves me feeling like I'm drained and immensely exhausted. When it happens, I cannot leave the house alone apart from local shop 120 steps there and same back that can take me several attempts to get there and buy what I need in bulk to minimize the times I have to go. Anything beyond that is a no go. My home is my safety zone beyond this its sheer panick confusing, I tried this once and went beyond 300 steps I had a terrifying experience my home felt miles away I was gasping for air felt like I was going to pass out, I tried to pull a taxi to get me round the corner he laughed and pulled off, I tried knocking on someone's door to ask for help and got the door shut in my face, I was in a right state but managed to get home people walked passed me I might as well have been invisible or they thought I was a looney. But I just needed help and no one cared, no disrespect to anyone in a wheelchair or physically disabled as we can see and help when in need, physic ally I look fine but mentally I'm a dysfunctional wreck and invisible cos no one can see what is happening in my head, but mental health is just as disabling unfortunately for us sufferers', but needs to be taken seriously, WE NEED TO BE SEEN TOO AND HEARD. just take a walk in our shoes for a day, god help them. Rant over xxx mandy😞
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