Dear Older Brother. I always looked up to you. For the first 12 years of my life you were my only sibling. I remember trying to be just like you. Id even copy what kind of cereal you picked in the morning. Then I was getting older and you were in middle school. 5 1/2 years apart in age so, we grew apart. I didnt mind, I was enjoying school and friends and being a girl.
Then Dad cheated on mom. It broke you and I. We watched moms heart breaking everyday. We held on to eachother for dear life. You decided to disown dad. I tried to do the same. But, I couldnt stay strong. I missed him. I tried to win Dad over. But, he couldnt be won over. He was already gone. He got the other woman pregnant. A baby brother was on his way. You were devastated. You were frusterated with me. Im sorry I wanted dad in my life. I needed him. I was so grateful you fought for me the night Dad made me cry. I felt like I had you back. My big brother was there to protect me no matter what.
Then you got older, and before I knew it you moved out. I never felt so lonely in my life. Mom and I had a rollercoaster of a relationship. I know she always tried to keep us happy and she did the best she could.
We soon found out we couldnt afford the house so it was time to down size. I lived in our childhood home for 19 years. 19 years of memories to say good bye too. The good, the bad and everything in between. My heart broke all over again. I began to lose my way. My anxiety had consumed me my whole life and I just couldnt take the pain of depression anymore.
I made lots of mistakes over the years as an adult. I failed to stay strong. But I survived. That is who I am. A survivor. I appreciate love and happy times so much because I know what its like to lose. I know whats its like to be lonely, feel no purpose, no belonging. I practice kindness and have lived for everyone around me. I dont like to see my loved ones go through pain.
You told me my big heart would cause me trouble. You were right. It has caused me agony to realize I cant fix anyone. I cant change the fact that you want little to do with me. I cant change your bitterness about our past. I cant be the sister you want me to be. Im not perfect, I am me. I will pray for you. I want you to be happy. I want you to be able to let go of everything that eats at you. I will pray that we can come together again some day. I miss my protector, I miss my big brother. I will always be here.
Love always,
Your little sister
Written by
Sunshine425
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Sometimes families, Parents can carry their own baggage ant that can really affect the bringing up of their children, In some instances this can be carried over from earlier generations and this sort of problems seem to be able to be problematic to their children and further generations
In my case I was brought up in many ways by my Surrogate Family who looked after me.
My parents had two girls Siblings in later years a whole ten years younger than me, the youngest was born twelve years after my Birth. Sibling rivalry raised its head and my parents were nearly divorced, I made the error of not been able to stop my Father from telling me all His marital problems, that put me in a bad place. The problems even after both parents died still raised its ugly head and I made a further break from family disfunction. So you are not alone.
I do not know how old you or your Brother are, the problem is above spreads and it takes the children, yourself and Brother to prevent you passing down this family curse.
It can be hard to suggest a treatment for this, you yourself knows what has happened in the past and rectify any problems so your family does not suffer the way you both have. I moved on, sad to say blame still haunts me with my Siblings who are now in their fifties, I am in my late sixties and I still suffer for others, my family shortcomings. They even managed to get me scrubbed out of my Share of the estate and are now trying to disinherit me completely.
Give yourself a break and move on, live your life forget the past and make this time of the year for you and your children etc. Life is short, Live it
Thanks Bob. ❤ I am 31 and he is 36. Our closeness has always come in waves. Ive always respected him and supported him. I feel he is suffering on the inside. He resents my parents and is taking it out on me. I know when I really need him, he'll be there. Thats the beautiful thing about siblings. I just wish he showed he cared. Hes never been the type to open up and share feelings.
The pain of feeling rejected by him will soon fade. We live not more than 15 minutes away from eachother. Hes not gone.... just purposely distant. He'll come around once in a blue moon. Ill cherish the days I can get💙 Life is short.
Were are you celebrating Christmas , with family, or with your Partner ?
Christmas can be not only positive, sometimes divisive.
However I do suggest you stamp on His negative attitude towards you. If it is not stopped you will rue the day if you settle down together. It becomes a habit , and can only get worse over time.
Dolphin and Bob. He has told me his issue with me. And I did tell him how I felt. The issue is everytime I tell him how I feel he iqnores me. He knows I want him in my life.
I am moving on. I wrote this and I sent him a much shorter version yesterday. To which no reply.
Holiday plans are always so last minute with my family. I hope to find out in the next couple days. The only plan I have now, is to stay home with my fiancè and his grandparents.
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My sad, pathetic story
