Washed out

Generally in the mornings I always feel washed out caused by my overactive immune system. It is a real problem and I need to sit and let me catch up with the day, This can continue until well after lunchtime and when I become a little bit more human I only work for short periods of time. Fifteen mins.

Today it is a lovely day here and I am sitting looking out our patio windows towards hills and fields. This can make me more lazy and I end up not doing anything at all.

My condition is beginning to make me impulsive as well and this needs to be watched over as I keep buying books. These works are where we have travelled to in the Middle East, Central Asia and Far East.

Where they are now fighting and destroying the wonderful places we went to, Palmyra Syria is one of them.

Hazel is happy with the works I have purchased, sad to say though I was still buying books and now these works are very much the same as its next door Brother. So Hazel now is going to close our account and one click purchases.

What I am trying to go with this is depression can cause a multitude of problems, one of these is impulsive behaviour. This can become a real problem that needs to be addressed. In my case my actions have been stopped and very little harm has been caused, now we have turned around our book collection where I can view pictures where we have been, the registres and travel books are short on pictures, they are good although they prevent me from imagining the places we have visited.

Sad to say I suppose my condition, PsA is affecting my mental health and I need to let go to things I used to be able to do, my problem is I feel that my actions have to be watched, Hazel has to become proactive and be able to watch over me, we talked about this several nights ago, and I had to stress that she prevents me from these impulsive errors, before I could become much worse. So I was giving her permission to refuse these impulsive needs.

Mental illness can cause real problems and a patient needs to know when to back down to impulsions, this can produce stresses in a relationship. Hard decisions need to be taken

BOB

6 Replies

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  • Sorry not to have replied to this post Bob, I have only just seen it. It sounds as though you sometimes need looking after - as we all do - and that Hazel is ok with taking on that role and helping you to curb your impulsive behaviours, so try to let her as there's little point in fighting life. You have lots of good memories and they are not just fantasies. xxx

  • Hi Bob your Hazel loves you so I am sure it is not a hardship for her to watch over you like she does. You are very much a couple though and I am sure you help out in other ways. Don't forget Pax loves you too :) Bev x

  • Hello Bev

    She knows the problems, although both of us understood the new health findings of my condition. This site is important to me as I can type and express myself. Typing seems slow enough to allow me time to tap down thoughts etc.

    My memory loss could just be Depression and the medications I chuck down my throat.

    If it is not Psa and just mental health I will be pleased at that as they are now saying I am more liable to blocked arteries and stroke. Was reading reports on my condition today and I confirmed all the problems it can cause.

    It is great being sixty five they seem to tell you all your problems then and the body seems to say slow down, to the devil with that ??

    Sorry for bitching on

    BOBxx

  • That sounds very similar to me too Bob, as I begin to feel human around 11am. However yesterday we had gardeners (or rather landscapers) coming to start work on cutting things back in the garden, arriving 8.30 so I was forced to join in, they worked in the front and me in the back. They found one of our 8ft sq trellises was rotten so had to cut all the roses back to almost nothing - hope they survive - and take the trellising down. They also cut the hedges (badly) and cut back all the plants along our long front path (not so badly) so things look more manageable now. I've decided to stick with them despite their lack of knowledge of plants, because they are so nice and obliging and willing to learn, also reliable and not too expensive. They certainly worked hard all day! However, so did I, cutting things back and sweeping for six and a half hours, so today I am suffering for it in that I can hardly move and have only just got out of bed, it was sooooo cold yesterday - sunny all day, but two degrees - and I was all togged up in long johns and hat, etc so shouldn't have done any long term harm and I do feel better for the exercise, but my hips are really hurting probably because I lifted a number of pots that were definitely too heavy for me. It's another sunny day today but I can't manage to work again which is a shame. How are things with you at the moment?

    Suex

  • Hello Sue

    You are like us at this time, last week we had some flags laid in the work area in the garden, we then had areas that needed flagging between the two properties as was, the two houses now look as one now and we feel it is more like one place.

    Done most of our cutting back and winter pruning, although the roses over thirty of them needs pruning. We have done most of the bushes.

    Last month we had various structures removed and areas around the greenhouse prepared for the vines and figs. We have two cherries, patio types and put one of two in the greenhouse to see which one does best over winter. We have also put the Nectarine, two Peaches and Apricot in the greenhouse as well, will get them out next March, April. So all just takes time.

    We were let down by a contractor who was converting a new outhouse from old WWII structures, we need to seal all the walls and floor and complete some harling on the walls. We are painting that the same colour of the house. It will be used to keep all the garden machines and that will give us more room for all of the tools etc. We needed a store for petrol, oils etc so we have been dropped into the muck as they were supposed to have completed two months ago. Sue you most probably agree it is the storing of all the gear that is a problem. We have plenty storage now although it always seems to fill up easy.

    We planted a German Apple tree two years ago, the apples were not really nice so I was in the midst of replacing it. Hazel got Apples of it this year and it is fresh and tart, it has made a good cooking apple. It does not need sugar and has a lovely fresh taste in crumbles and tarts, so it has managed to save itself so now we have another two apple trees that were supposed to replace it. MORE APPLES.

    Sorry gone on a bit. All the best

    BOBxx

  • Hi Bob

    What a lot of planning and work goes into your garden - you put me to shame! I did loads of planning while establishing the garden but now find I let it slide and do nothing for years (yes literally) and then have a mammoth task of trying to get it all back under control, hence the need for gardeners.

    We don't have such a problem with tools, I think your garden is a lot bigger than ours and also we no longer have any grass, just paths and patios, pots and borders. When I first overhauled the garden we bought a lovely arched Hartley Botanic greenhouse which I imagined would be used for growing but Danny became unwell soon after and so I use the greenhouse as a potting shed! We have a brick built outhouse for the tools and other things like hoses so have enough space.

    I am full of admiration for you for growing such lovely fruit in pots, I would never manage that as I am not disciplined enough to keep them watered and move them in and out of the warmth as required. I'm a bit of a dreamer in a way, plant up a very full garden and like the idea of maintaining it but am too erratic to grow anything that needs regular maintenance in order to fruit or flower. Rambling roses are my favourite as they need nothing doing for several years and just billow full of flowers, also I love hardy fuschias, especially Mrs Popple which grows to 5ft and is still flowering now despite the cold! We have lots of acers and magnolias as well as the taller kind of (deciduous) azealeas so there is a lot of foliage colour at certain times of the year. We never have bedding plants, they are too fiddly for my taste, but do have perennial geraniums and always have half a dozen annual geranium pots as well as perfumed pinks and carnations that I never re-pot but which seem to flower year after year provided I cut the dead heads off.

    You say you have over 30 roses which need pruning, I presume you mean shrub roses? Did you know that research shows that giving them a haircut with a hedge trimmer results in no damage and as many flowers as pruning each stem the correct way? I don't do that as we don't have too many shrub roses and those we do have are the taller old fashioned ones which need less pruning so long as we don't mind the height, they are in borders amongst other shrubs so grow taller than bedding roses.

    It's interesting seeing the garden look so different at the front after the men removed the long piece of tall trellising, maybe we will leave it that way and lift the big old rose roots to use in places where they can be allowed to ramble more freely. I'm gradually realising that a garden is an evolving thing and changes over time which suits me as I become less able to keep it the way it was. I guess it's about adjusting to the garden ageing as I am doing the same thing!

    Take care, it's good to hear from you. I just looked back over all the posts and in the past 30 days there have only been posts from 3 names that I recognise - and one of those was my own! :)

    Suex

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