Can't seem to cope

Hi My name is Mike.

I appear to be struggling like mad at the moment with severe depression and probably and anxiety I feel like i have no energy most of the time i have days where i cant even be bothered to get out of bed and generally feeling very low.

I thought drink was the answer to get me through it but it just caused my family to be angry with and throw me out because they couldn't cope with me and my moods and drink. I have now ended living miles away from my family I rarely see them and when i turn to them for support they don't seem interested.

I have also recently lost my job and am finding it very hard to get motivated to even look for a job because this illness or what ever it is seems to have a hold on my life.

I have spoken to my GP but didn't seem to help in any way shape or form i was basically discharged from the service because i was told i was drinking to much.

On the back of this i stopped taking the meds i was prescribed and have recently being having suicidal thoughts like the world would be a better place without me because all i seem to do is struggle i have pretty much ran out of coping strategies for this illness and seriously don't know who to turn to. I am hoping some body has an answer on here or some one that can help.

6 Replies

  • Hi Mike, I am so sorry to hear of your sad plight, but please don't give up on yourself. At the moment you seem to want to punish yourself for something that was out of your control for a little while, but you can get back on track. There's lots of directions, when desperation is knocking at your door use the Samaritans, join the AA you don't have to wait until you reach rock bottom if you feel you are using alcohol to try and blunt your emotions, and being in a group and getting a mentor might help.

    Depression is a monster that you don't want to feed, but you can recover, it may take a while, but the journey is always worth taking.

    Hugs to you and please have some faith in yourself, xxx moni

  • Hi Mike I am sorry you are struggling so much. There is a lot of help out there and also antidepressants and counselling might be able to aid you at this time. If your doctor is unsympathetic then change to one who isn't. x

  • Sorry to say but doctors, meds, websites are only aids for you to help yourself. Most make the mistake of thinking meds make you better and honestly they don't. They're a support.

    I've come to think of my depression and such as complications of a plot twist. Life has dealt you a wild card you weren't prepared for and the life plan you had has been shot down. So shout plot twist and embrace this new life. It may not be by choice but it may just be what you need. You have the opportunity to be a new character in life's performance.... Go for gold!

  • Hello, Mike,severe depression will make anyone struggle and you've got quite a few problems there, which I would think and hope you can solve.

    Drink or drugs are tempting to anyone with depression but all the experts are unanimous in saying use the minimum or none of both , and I'm inclined to agree. Your experience with drink would seem to bear this out. If this has developed into a real drink problem I think you should try alcoholics anonymous, whether you feel you are addicted or not. The support you will get there will help with some of your other problems and its anonymous.

    Losing your job and your family support are also pretty bad news as these are a big help , especially the family support when depressed. I doubt you will get back support from your family ,if drink has been that big a problem , until you can sort yourself out and demonstrate you've dried out.

    This is beginning to sound like a bloody lecture . Sorry about that. First step is to get rid of the alcohol problem, if you've still got it. (AA).

    Then see your GP or another more sympathetic one to get prescribed medication and take it (that was a bad mistake to stop taking it altho alcohol and anti depressants generally do not mix well)

    These two things will be quite a mountain to climb, but once you get there, if you can the view will be a lot better, then the rest should be easy in comparison , including finding a job.

    Considering the circumstances you are not whingeing or blaming anyone else. I think this is a pretty good sign that you can dig yourself back out of the hole you've partly dug yourself. Hope I have n't made this sound too easy. The alcohol can be a big problem in itself (not entirely your fault if your body chemistry makes you more vulnerable to alcohol) , but AA and the support there ,will help with the depression (a bit). Anti depressants will then help some more with the depression and anxiety and you can think about finding a job.

    Hopefully then ,if you want to , you can win back the support and regard of your family, but none of this is going to happen overnight. The ads will take a few weeks to work, more if they have to change them to get the right ones. Mind you you did n't dig a hole this deep overnight either but as De Niro once said in a film . "if someone built it ,someone can unbuilt it" The good news is its you ,and only you, that can unbuilt it.

    Wishing you all the best. Its a tough job but I have faith you can do it. (I ain't no angel either)

  • Hello Mike

    I gather that you are in our mid thirties and you have a drink problem that is caused severe problems in your private life.

    Sad to say your condition before drink was following a well worn pathway and this was not helped by turning to drink and Your GP Practice because you were not taking their advice regarding Your drink problem.

    Generally I feel you need to understand what has instigated your illness of Anxiety and depression, you get to that position and at the same time arrange to join an AA Group,

    You can of course go back to our GP and appeal to His generosity and agree to really stop drinking. Under those circumstances I would imagine that your practice ?? is awaiting you to hit rock bottom and agree to a treatment plan that both you and your GP can agree to. The attending of AA and not drinking would in this instance be a good idea.

    When we drink with anxiety and depression it makes the latter worse as alcohol is an actual depressive chemical and it will just make you worse. Then you will drink more because of the depression and you end up in a really tight circle where you just cannot get out of it. Hence the decision of your GP to pull yourself around.

    One of the agreements the GP may ask you to do is as mentioned earlier is to join AA.

    Then possibly begin taking your medications once more. Possibly then it may be possible to arrange therapy that will once more try and get you performing the coping techniques that you were shown earlier. They also may try and find out the initial problem that caused you to go the way you are now.

    You need to remember, no-one can help you to get better if you do not help them to help you.

    Your threats to take your life is part of your feeling sorry for yourself, and the threat towards family members and friends who most probably feel that you wallow in your own self pity. It is now up to you to prove to them you want to get better and also prove to them you are serious to undertake this hard pathway where they will begin to trust you and begin once more giving you some form of support.

    When I tried to commit suicide, I thought that I will show them all. All I did was alienate those around me and produce anger and frustration in their outlook towards me. Generally in this case they will throw the towel in and that will be that.

    With me it caused many problems, non sympathetic just anger and some very painful treatment pathways from a very tired Doctor and nursing team, who used some very nasty treatments to bring me back. I was then introduced to a Crisis Team with my wife and believe when I say it was not a very nice meeting that they slated me and what I had tried to do

    My wife now will not let me look after my medications and I am rationed to my daily dose. You see I suffer a chronic illness that causes severe pain and that I have suffered now for over thirty years.

    I now have to keep proving myself not only to my wife, also my GP. Suicide is not easy and it will not be you who suffers it is those people who form our family and those around you who really need and love what ever you do, believe me when I say you would be most probably be surprised how many people still think kindly of you. All you will do is just annoy, anger and upset those around you. They will resent what you have done and they will not recover from their loss. If that is what you want, you are less a man that many who knew you would admit

    With me it is about seven years or so since I tried and now I understand my situation.

    My wife watches me like a hawk and changes where she hides my medications.

    Give yourself a break and act like you want to live, give everyone you know a break,

    Give yourself the chance to prove you are strong enough to pull yourself around.

    We are always around and here to give support. You are at a crossroad and I feel you can turn yourself around

    Good luck


    If you need help I like many are here, we can help and give support


  • Hi have you given up the drink ??? Once you show people you have stopped the drinking you ll get the support you need, life is hard enough to deal with and get through with drinking, first thing you must do is stop drinking TOTALLY !!!! and get back on the medication you need, as you really do need it for support in helping you to deal with not drinking. The very best of luck Mike it's going to be very very hard ( like it is for us all on here ) but you'll do it, and get well I'm certain of that !!!

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