I have posted here before about how I've felt, and I have been to two doctors who have been quite unhelpful, I seem to have many of the symptoms and signs of depression, especially the emotional ones. But both doctors I have been too are only listening to my physical signs and symptoms and are trying to push it off as anaemia and iron deficiencies, when that could be a possibility but surely anaemia doesn't make you feel suicidal? I think they aren't listening to me because I mention that I don't cry, I just get very down yet empty and question why am I even here? I have just turned 18 and said I cannot have medication, just counselling but they are making me sort out my own counselling? I am young and have had quite a bad year but this feeling has been stuck with me for 2 years almost now and no one is listening to me, I've tried diet changes, exercising, trying to force myself to leave the house more and nothing is working. Please help, I don't know who to turn to or where to go?

9 Replies

  • Hi charm that's really sucks when you feel depressed and doctors don't listen to you. It only aggravates the symptoms and makes you feel like nobody cares about you. You mentioned you feel suicidal? Did you tell dr. That? Don't know why your too young to go on antidepressants but if I were you I would call Dr or a counselor and put your foot down and tell them how you feel and don't let them just brush it off. That is a hard thing to do when your depressed but you must do it.. Once you get the right dr. And care you will soon be feeling better. I sometimes think finding the tight dr. Counselor is the hardest part of depression. Hang in there. You will find somebody to help you.

  • Hi there,

    I wonder whether my experience might help. My relationship broke down a few years ago, and although it had a lot of problems, afterwards I was left dealing with a lack of direction, and a feeling of emptiness, and sadness. I felt I had failed, and it was hard to go out and see people, partly due to embarrassment at the idea they might be talking about me, and because had trust issues with being lied to by some people. I threw myself into an old hobby, and even went back to college to get qualifications in it. This led to me meeting new people outside of my old social circle, and finding new enthusiasm for life. One thing led to another and soon I was feeling much better.

    Can you think of any interest, or hobby, that you would like to do that you have either never done before, or it has been a long time. Something that does not remind you of your ex, or your current situation? Something that takes you out of your normal environment and into something new and exciting. A change of scene might be what the doctor ordered.

  • Hi there, I think it may be your young age that is putting doctors off giving you medication. At the end of the day, we don't want our youth to be doped up with medication in order to cope with daily life. So doctors are actually very strict with this now. Take me for example, my doctor is quite strict and he didn't want to give me medication for anxiety, he said I was coping with it, which I obviously didn't feel like I was at the time. But I went to see another doctor 6 months later who actually did put me on Citalopram. Just last week, I asked the first doctor if I should come off the meds and he said not yet, he doesn't want to rock the boat. So that original doctor now agrees that I should be on these meds for longer...

    I think you really need to push them, make them see how bad you're feeling. They want to know that you're not just fed up or feeling angry or going through a bad time. A lot of people use the term depressed loosely on a daily basis and don't realise how serious it is. Nobody listened to me when I said I was depressed at 15, but obviously now my parents and doctors and can see it was real and that I wasn't exaggerating. Doctors want to be careful because you are still young and your brain is still developing. Keep going back to the same doctor, keep a diary of how you feel including your suicidal thoughts. Perhaps you can even detail your suicidal thoughts a bit so he/she can see you're not making it up. As bad as it seems, teenagers are often not taken as seriously as adults about these kinds of feelings because hormones are naturally all over the place at this age and bad days are to be expected (I've been on that end of things too and know how frustrating it is).

    Go back to one of the two doctors, Love. Tell them you're not kidding around. And maybe you can even go see a counsellor and take the information from them back to the doctor. Just pursue with it if you really need the help. Good Luck xxx

  • Hello gina

    When young GP s would rather not give strong mood changing medications. One of the main problems is that in the teens and early twenties chemical changes in the body cause problems with mood that is natural, that slows eventually. Not only that they would wish to try other things before these medications as many can cause addiction and various problems associated with listless feelings and lack of concentration. When young you also need that edge that would be lacking.

    When I was at college I was on Largactel and Vallium for a time and the problems I suffered with there taking and withdrawal were noticeably when I was studying an taking examinations. I was sixteen at the time and eventually the medications were one of the instrumental things that made me fail my courses.

    When I comes to the fact that you cannot cry, this to me seems you have had a period of hard knocks either at home or school, Again with me it was caused by family making me a man where I was unable to show emotion. In later life I became the family undertaker dealing with older family members who were in all intents and purposes of their way out of this world. Also I had been bullied throughout my later schooling years. So now I am in all intents and purposes one hard nut that has dealt with all types of terminal conditions associated with the grim reaper.

    You say your GP wants you to decide what form of talking treatment you would prefer.

    I suppose He has informed you of the choices and recommendations I suppose that He may want you to feel comfortable in your own skin and the type of treatment is sometimes better chosen by you. The other thing with regard medications sometimes your GP will not prescribe until you have been assessed by the Phsyc Nurse CPN, They may suggest a way forward and your GP will follow. Personally I would feel your GP may be thinking other ways of treating your condition and I personally feel that he has your interests at heart so I would really listen to Him

    I would keep in contact with your GP on a regular basis regarding your Depression, purchase a booklet and keep a list of your feelings on one side of the book and on the opposite page the feeling you are suffering at that time that way you have a record of your depression and possibly what has caused it, and how you have managed to suppress those moods.

    With regards suicide, just do not go there I tried and failed and believe me when I say it will cause a lot of sorrow and upset to those who really love you

    If you need support we are always around


  • Anaemia can make you feel quite low ... but I'm wondering if you actually have pernicious anaemia - which is a bit of a misnomer as anaemia is a symptom not a defining characteristic of what is basically a vitamin deficiency - B12. B12 is used by a lot of processes in the bodies and its many affects include depression, anxiety, psychosis, neurological problems, balance, anaemia, osteo-arthritis, osteoporosis, high blood pressure, cardio-vascular problems ...

    You can find a list of some of the potential symptoms here


    Left untreated a B12 absorption problem - which is generally the reason for a B12 deficiency - though lack of B12 in your diet (eg strict vegan as it is only found in animal products) - will eventually kill you and it won't be a very pleasant way to go.

    I suffered 40 years of depression because of problems with my B12 that went undiagnosed and that can certainly cause suicidal feelings.

    Has your GP checked your folate and B12 levels? It can be really difficult to get GPs to recognise that B12 is an issue- even when anaemia is present and the usual treatment is with injections. Is there a history of anaemia in your family.

  • Hello Charmaisophia. I think its very unlikely that two doctors would miss signs of depression and as you say you have the emotional signs only, they may well not think you have depression but are going through what so many of us go through at 18 . . It is not unusual to go through a very unhappy period in your late teens without being clinically depressed. If this is the case count your blessings. Are your two doctors in the same practice ? If so are there other or another doctor you can see ? This would give you a third opinion and if they think you are not depressed then you can be almost 100% sure its not depression, which is the best news you could have.

    Although many of us take antidepressants they are not wonderful drugs to take and doctors would certainly be reluctant to prescribe anti depressants to an 18 year old ,especially a young woman , who was n't depressed. Whether you cry or not is not important in deciding if you are depressed and your doctors will know that.

    Try and get a third medical opinion. Also can you not talk to a friend , a boyfriend, a parent, an ex-teacher,or a family member ? That would be a good start in that you would have someone to turn to. In the meantime you have nothing to lose by taking some iron pills you can get from a chemist. If they don't help then you can go back to the doctor and tell them they have n't helped ,so what is causing your unhappiness.

    Don't worry about wondering why you are here . The cleverest people in the world have n't been able to answer that. Diet probably won't affect how you feel, but exercise and getting out of the house are both good and keep doing them. You are right that anemia won't make you think of suicide but that plus a late teens crisis could make you feel that bad but forget about that. There are so many reasons why you should forget those sort of thoughts. Its a non runner.

    You've hung in there for 2 years , give it another month on iron pills and to see another doctor then see how it goes . At 18 you can afford several months let alone one.

    Best of luck and will be thinking of you.

  • Hi Charmaisophia, just reading your post and it reminds me a lot of myself at your age.

    There are different opinions about depression and what causes it and your age is a prime time that a whole load of factors mix up, mash up and totally send our brain and bodies through a whole roller coaster ride and yes that is normal. Some say it's repressed anger or living in the past. I thinks it's all that and not being able to make choices that are good for you

    I have no insight to any pressures currently in your life. For me I had great responsibility, money worries, bad at socialising and sharing, feeling alone, not being able to trust and feeling untalented, unappreciated, lost and that was just for starters. I am also very caring and found myself doing things for others more than myself. I don't know if any of this rings true for you?

    I can only say, life is challenging, rewarding, disappointing and more. Some of what may help is defining coping strategies for anything that life can and will throw at you all coupled with a big dose of doing what is good for you.

    Being fit - minimises barriers to life, throw your self out of a plane if you wish or not either way you will have the ability to do it if YOU want

    Being financial secure allows you to treat yourself when you want, holiday, new TV even buying a magazine and coffee and ignoring the world for an hour

    Counselling can help you talk things out and work out solutions but again find someone that seems to help if not walk away and find someone new - we can't and don't have to get on with everyone

    And for days your feeling wretched, or even hours or minutes find ways to distance yourself, either mentally or physically

    Hope this gives you an idea and if none of it works at least you will have a things to show the doctor of things you have attempted to do so it adds weight to your reasoning behind why you are a candidate for anti depressants. Doctors can be wrong, but they are cautious because of past mistakes, law suits, complaints etc so they need to be sure that is all. It is not a reflection on you

  • Hey, I have been ill since I was 11, now I'm very old. You really need to find a great doctor. When I finally went to a doctor 30 years later, they were like yours did not want to know, then I found a great doc, she really helped, to the point of telling me I could ring at anytime and she would see me. But she left, then it was hard again, the docs didn't want to know. But again I kept at it and found the best doc ever, she was amazing. I'm still seeing docs, you just need to push, you pay there wages so keep fighting, if they don't help, go to the hospital they have a department set up to welcome you.

    Keep fighting


  • Thank you everyone! I can understand why they do not want me to go on medication, because I know that when it comes to a time to wind away from that, it may bring me down further, especially being young. Although I have felt this way for around 2 years and 7 months, constantly (pretty much every day) I find myself sleeping and napping to escape my feelings. This is what gets to me the most, because when I'm awake I just feel as if there is no point in me being here. The first doctor I had went too thought that I was just down as of a previous bad relationship, but before this I had felt the exact same. due to amount of time I have felt like this, I just don't think it's my hormones. the doctors are only listening to my physical sings and symptoms which is physical aching, chest pains, hypersomnia(over sleeping), loss of libido, loss of socialising, feeling drained and constantly lacking concentration. The emotional signs and symptoms are emptiness, often guilty feelings, very down and suicidal. I do understand that I am young completely, but I have never had the courage to go to the doctors up until around 1 month ago, as it was distracting me from my final year of A-Levels. I do feel as if I'm not being taken fully seriously as I'm young. I've had my bloods done twice and I didn't hit any of the milestones for B12 deficiency or anaemia, which is why I'm so confused. My family are lovely and very caring but do not take depression so seriously so I have a slight lack of support in that sense. does anyone know if in surgeries they have mental health practioners or mental health nurses? As maybe seeing a professional specified in mental health may help me get somewhere.

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