I was just wondering if I am strange or weird that I do not desire a relationship... I am 40 soon, female and a single parent to 3 kiddies, one grown up and 2 little whipper snappers... I am and have always been depressed but only in myself and not that anyone would see... I hide it well.. And I'm proud of that... but I wonder about myself because everyone seems so wrapped up in their lovers and husbands/wives or if they haven't got a partner it's so important to get one/find one almost as if it validates that person... but I don't feel that urge? Is that my depression talking?
If I bothered I suppose I could be half decent looking but I never do... I mean, I'm clean and smelling nice but I don't bother with make up or wearing the latest fashion... I can't imagine ever being with a partner again and that doesn't bother me...I have a 6 year old and an 8 year old and by the time they go to bed I'm knackered and I just want time out for me... is that selfish?
I've always been a very giving, loving partner and never really had that much in way of a return so now I feel my giving, my loving is spent and I want to give it to me and the kids... BUT everyone else seems to be 'partner-searching' like mad...
So am I ?
a) a lost cause
b) incredibly selfish
d) finished with all sexually/physical relationships (if this is the answer, I will be a bit sad, because it does feel so final, to be honest)
Please help me understand myself, because I haven't got a clue...