This is the only place I feel safe to talk about certain things.
A couple of days ago I went out clubbing with my friends at Uni, I drank way too much, I was barely with it. One of my supposed closest friends then sexually assaulted me, he stayed the night and was doing stuff to me and making me do sexual things to him. The problem is its such a blur. But legally it's not sexual assault (I'm a law student btw).
So now I hate myself, I have nightmares about the whole thing. I lay in my bed and cant sleep because that's always on my mind. He was meant to be one of my closest friends and he took advantage of me and now I hate myself. I can't tell anyone because everyone will just say I'm a slut. But I cant even go near him, the thought of seeing him makes me feel sick. and I'm pretty sure he doesn't think anything bad of it which makes it even worse.
I already struggle with trust and opening up to people and he fully well knew that and abused it.
I don't know what I'm meant to do now. I feel like my whole life has come crashing down, I believe its sexual assault the law however doesn't, But I don't give a flaming fuck he abused me and now I have to live with thus for the rest of my life.
sorry for the long post again. Hope everyone is doing okay.