Found myself here out of desperation!... - Mental Health Sup...

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Found myself here out of desperation! My love life is so complicated!

Tigerbright profile image
•13 Replies

Hi, I live in UK with my mum, my boy (10) and ex boyfriend, yeah, but I don't want that to define me. However, I'm finding the rest of the world has a lot to say about my situation! It's crazy but I'm trying to have a relationship with another man and it's creating all sorts of problems because him and ex, well they don't get on! This is so messy I don't think I can cope sometimes! Me and ex get along fine now after a long messy separation. He is on the autistic spectrum (HFA) and doesn't like my boyfriend one bit! Boyfriend is proving to be a handful. Can be abusive but does apologize. I'm here to explore my situation in a safe space because I'm sick of the feeling that I have no-one to turn to! Thanks for being here and providing a friendly space!...

Life is hard and girls just want to have fun!

😌🤘🤗

13 Replies
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hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

'Boyfriend is proving to be a handful. Can be abusive but does apologize.' Huge red flags there. Being abusive, whether he apologises or not, has no place in a loving caring relationship and maybe that's why the ex doesn't like him? I would go forward very carefully.

Tigerbright profile image
Tigerbright in reply to hypercat54

Red flags was the most useful thing here! Thanks for reminding. That's what it's about! It's much more sorted now I used the red flag behaviour to illustrate my point! Worked a treat! 😉🤘

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply to Tigerbright

You are welcome. I have watched too much Reddit..... 😃

Sending my support to you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Tigerbright profile image
Tigerbright in reply to

Thank you so much! 🤗💞

Hello You mention your Ex is still living with you and your Son, you now have an additional boyfried who can be a handful. You will be having problems if the first boyfriend is Autistic and you are with someone else. Autism at the best of can be problematic especially if your Sons father is the Autistic Boyfriend.

Your new man in your life, I feel will be affected with your first boyfriend and aggression may not only extend to you. also your Autistic boyfriend. Any form of violence will become worse and it may never get better, you may find the Autistic boyfriend may get hurt and turfed out. Personally any form of violence should not be acceptable in any form of relationship.

Is there any way to get rid of the second Boyfriend. Could you then discuss the past problems you had from the first boyfriend, it seems to have settled and I would imagine He must find the whole situation really flustrating and unsettling

You need to move on from the violent boyfriend and assess your needs and expectations with the first boyfriend especially if He is the Father of your Son

You have problems, How does your Mother feel about this ??.

BOB

Tigerbright profile image
Tigerbright in reply to

Hi Bob, It's the other way round my ex whom I live with is HFA/Asperger's. New boyfriend is very normal, just wants to hang! It's complex but I think I'm finding solutions. Autistic father is much calmer when I'm just cool about stuff. We get on fine now as long as I don't tax him emotionally. Updates in my feed! 🤗💞🤘

Tigerbright profile image
Tigerbright in reply to

I see you were spot on! Thanks for the insights. Things have settled a lot because I finished with the new guy so we can just be friends. We're fine as long as he doesn't expect a normal romantic relationship! My situation with Ex. Aspie partner has improved no end and he is lovely to me now and we're getting on much better again because someone on the outside isn't interfering with our set up! Lol! Hard to realize that!!New guy got told in no uncertain terms that he was being an asshole and it was destroying my sanity and his too!

He aquiessed and stepped back giving me space to feel what's best for me, not him!! Ahem. Narcissist!!!

Ah well. We live and learn.

Thanks to all comments and encouragement. I wasn't expecting that and it's been supportive.

Sometimes our feelings can mislead us. Remember that...

Peace and Love 💕

Abusive men no, just finish it now absolutely no need to waste ur time and energy m.

Tigerbright profile image
Tigerbright in reply to

Yeah, it's just words to date. Nothing too serious, but it feels horrible! I agree it shouldn't be overlooked. I never used to know how to confront abusive behaviour/aggressive words etc. Now I'm getting jolly good at telling them off back! Lol 😆 The ones worth their salt will address the reasons and make changes. I'm happier now! Had a massive confrontation/show down yesterday! Thanks for your support. Update in my feed. 🙌😁✨

in reply to Tigerbright

Just make sure you believe your better and deserve more than anyone who will take like that , don’t accept anything except the best , not worth it x

Tigerbright profile image
Tigerbright in reply to

Aw! 😊 Thank you! So much encouragement guys! Xx

Tigerbright profile image
Tigerbright

Thanks to hypercat54, search4happiness, borderriver, AIG67, for your support!

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