Hey guys, sorry I haven't kept everyone up to date for a while.
Turns out, I didn't get the job I've basically been dreaming off for a student still in University. 'Parcelforce' have lost my suitcase. I'm completely and utterly skint. And to top it all off arguments with my boyfriend. Plus an essay to do in now one day... I haven't even started it.
I'm feeling utter shit, literally keep on and off crying. I feel numb inside. Then hurt for ages. Can't sleep because of it all. So much anger and frustration. I've been looking for a job since October... And nothing. No one wants to hire me. I'm at my wits end. Feel like pulling my hair out. My weights at an all time high. I've got the doctors tomorrow to see what they say as 4 stone in 1 and a half years is NOT normal no matter if I'm not 'obese'. Why don't they tackle the problem now rather then push me away and wait for me to be that big?
If they push me away tomorrow, I'm actually scared of my reaction. I think I'm gonna explode and probably hit them. Feel helpless and useless. Been trying to keep positive but it's all proving too much. I'm having such bad anxiety it's unreal. I've never suffered that badly, just a bit but now it's like all over the place.
Just wish someone would hand me a job that I need desperately, then I can work steadily on other things.