Music for when you do feel down (Any Suggestions?)

I was fine literally an hour ago, and again, work that I decided I would do tomorrow, dawns on my mind, along with other things in the coming week. making me feel somewhat down again, I thought I'd try my best to take my mind off of it, I worry too much about things that really shouldn't bother me.

Anyways I want to try my best to keep posting on here and not bottle up what bothers me, this is my second post and I feel as if it should be as important and meaning full as I the first post I made, but I suppose thats what led me to bottle things up to begin with. (If you want to cut to the chase just read the last line of this post)

So despite my unsurity of posting this (Not being sure as to whether people will just tell me to post this somewhere else) I will post this anyway. maybe it'll be a refference for others when they need some music to match their mood.

Basically I like to listen to and play music to match my mood and when I'm especially down (And still able to play I need something to start from), I know this isn't a permanent solution to anything but theres something about getting a song to suit your mood that feels right (I hate listening to upbeat music when I feel low it just doesn't connect to me as much).

So as an attempt to make somekind of interaction (even if just from within my own post) if anyone has any songs that they reccomend please feel free to post them.

I have a short list of songs which I've found (Some of them are quite dark) so if anyone wants my reccomendations, I have named them as follows:

Apocalyptica - I dont care

Apocalyptica - The unforgiven (I think this might be a cover of a song, but its just a violin instramental, pretty fitting though, not your typical classical music)

BriBry - Old Enough (He's a youtuber but sometimes his songs can be quite fitting)

Cartel - Save Us (Kinda strong emotional sad music)

Cellar Door - Escape The Fate (Kinda dark, depending on how you look at it)

Evanescence - Hello

Holly Starr - Through My Fathers Eyes (This could arguably be up beat, it is christian music but I genuinely like this one for still being pretty good in my opinion)

Gabriel Aplin - The Power of Love

So thats just a few I listen to when I'm down, anyone else got a song preference for when there feeling down down?

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  • 'Down the bottom of the hole' by Myshovels Wornout

    'Glass half empty' by 'Andnowthe Tapsbrokentoo'

    'Is there a point?' by Snapped Pencil

    'Going round in circles' by Icantfindmy Ruler

    The play on loop on my iPod. Could probably do with an update really, I'll listen to your suggestions!

  • Thanks :) this made my day

  • Lucy that is funny, your a hoot.x

  • Did a google search but came up dry. I like all kinds of music, just cant find this

  • Gethsemane by Michael Ball

    I dreamed a dream

    the "local hero" soundtrack [but not the ceilidth (sp) ]

  • Thank you, I'll have a look at those :)

  • When I am feeling down I listen to jesse j newest album, I love the Thunder song.

  • I love Jesse J

  • I do, too!

  • *puts head in hands* :p

    It depends what sort of effect I want...heading to radio iplayer and clicking the Craig Charles Funk & Soul show from 6music never misfires though :)

  • Gotta love Herbie Mann or Original neil diamond

  • Jessie J is pretty cool, I havent heard much of her newer stuff so I'll have a look at that :D

  • The bollywood songs on you-tube are often light and upbeat, in a way it helps not knowing what the words are,

    I have a c.d. of songs i got years ago from holland, again they have an upbeat sound, and the actual words don't matter.

  • Thanks for writing this John, must listen to you're music suggestions, thought I was a bit odd getting something from music that makes me feel even sadder, but like you I find it very therapeutic, mine is usually some film theme music or meditation music. Thanks for you're post. Sandra

  • Your welcome :), I wasn't sure till I posted this either so I appreciate your comment Sandra

  • John I'm so sorry! I've just been so exhausted at the moment - I've been up at night, stressing about, when the builders are going to come - my body clock is out of wack (I like late nights and late mornings, usually 3:30) and they're coming in the morning so they're going to wake me up(When they do my parent's room they'll be moving to sleep in my room in Feb so I'll be trapped at uni), and that's what was keeping me awake at night (ironic isn't it?). Because I'm sleep deprived I'm finding it hard to concentrate.

    But I'll reply to you when I can - fully I mean. I'll read your post :) (now) and leave you with my music suggestions in a different comment.

    xxxx

  • But you already said Evanescence! :D And Hello is one of my songs too (That I listen to 'I do not own' haha)! Looks like we're on the same page already. I do have a paragraph for Evanescence. The other Evanescence songs I listen to when I feel down is

    My Immortal - it's quite well known.

    Missing (I highly commend this one).

    Also, Going Under & Lithium. (Which I can connect to for personal reasons, if you're interested, just ask).

    (In my Early days of listening to Evanescence I used to love Bring Me To Life and while I think it's still a good song, in comparison to their other songs there's something, dare I say corny about it? It doesn't seem to connect to me as much as the others not now I've heard them).

    Yes you're so right John, if there's one thing I regret it's listening to upbeat music when I feel down - it just doesn't sound the same - almost bizarre. :S Unfortunately when my last laptop broke it took me ages to recover all of the music, which I'm only just starting to do now - so I haven't had much of a variety for a while. I managed to get some but even the best ones, when you've heard them over and over again, in isolation from a range of other songs, they can get old after a while (and you start hearing the mistakes, or details in the backing that you'd never noticed before). I felt guilty about this at first, because I have a great sense of loyalty to one artist in particular (even though he's never met me, doesn't know I exist, and it doesn't affect him in the slightest how much I listen to his music - I know it's silly), and I don't like the idea of his songs getting old (especially not after remembering how I enjoyed them when I first heard them: I thought I would keep experiencing that 'very first time' feeling when listening the songs. Instead I now keep singing along without realising it!), but I realise now, that's just the way it goes. It doesn't matter who the song is by. (As you can tell I tend to over think things). Just this weekend though, I put some new (or old, that I haven't heard in a while, depending on how you want to look at it) music on there and found a way of resetting the number of plays (Apple place their shuffle based on the amount of skips and plays, they decided to make the songs with the highest number of plays salient to the others, in other words, the more they're played, the more they'll get played if you want to know how to reset it and don't know how (that assuming you're on iTunes) then just ask. :) ) So hopefully I'll be able to keep all my music 'fresh' and new. Anyway, enough about me and my rantings about music in general.

    There are other songs - by another artist - that I don't want to go without mentioning. John Mayer? (He has the same first name as you :) ) He's an artist I recently discovered and there's something about his songs, that I seem to connect to more than much else I'm listening to at the moment, particularly his song Born and Raised (it was so close to home that I actually shed tears while I was listening to it). I think you'll appreciate him. Also, his song 'Gravity', is very poignant. So give them a try. I haven't heard of any of the other artists you mention - I might have a listen - what level of darkness are we talking here? (And what style are you into? I'm going to put my hands on the table here: I know a few people listen to and love 'steampunk/punksteam' - which I first discovered about 2 years from an old friend - but I couldn't handle it.) But his style is nothing like that of Evanescence, which is all I have to go on at the mo in terms of your music taste. But from what I know about you so far, your experiences, interests etc. I really think you'll like him. He plays guitar and sings at the same time. :)

    Take care and kindest regards, :)

    I'm going to have an attempt at reading your comments in your previous posts and replying to them. I do like my long replies don't I?

    Fay :) xxxx

  • Oh! Just to give you a heads up about the Born and Raised song, there is an interruption which spoils on it on the video which has the highest number of views on Youtube, so make sure you scroll down to a different version (with less views, the one that says 'w/lyrics' is the one I click on) and you'll hear how it's supposed to sound all the way through. :) It's up you what you decide. xx

  • Thanks for writing this post (This is also a reply to the 1st one on this post) I don't mind, take as much time as you want to reply (That would stress me out too), I'm starting to find my work taking up more time at the moment, but again, I'm going to keep posting ln here because I really feel like it helps.

    I'm just listening to some of them now, and yeah, I quite like Bring me to Life but yeah, its not really as good as the others, just quite a well known one. I too have that thing with loyalty, at a time I was really into Maroon 5 (Over Exposed is one of the two albums I have ever purchased ever, I'm kinda terrible) though I kinda went off of it, when my moods kinda didn't match as well as perhaps they used too. Also quite a large number of their new songs are related to various relationship stuff, and I kinda felt a little put off after a while, I'm still fairly sure I can identify all of their songs (Old or new) by the way they sound and sometimes sing them (I was a little obsessed, despite them perhaps not being for a majorly male audience). I find that other artists I like kinda on and off, I nearly always listen to a bit of Ed Sheeran I feel like his personality is in ways similar to my own (Or at least I like to think so), I listen to a bit of James Blunt and more recently I've got into Queen a bit more (This is a big one from my childhood as my mother adored Freddie Mercury so that brings back memories).

    I think my taste is kind of Alternative Rock, a bit of Indie (Fun can be pretty good) and soul, I have freinds who like screamo and things but I don't really get the appeal, the same friend showed me something called 'pirate power folk metal' (It is infact a genre, I think you can find some of it on youtube) which I don't really listen too, but sticks in my head just because of the name really.

    Just listening to Going Under, I have to say, though I like Evenescence I haven't heard allot of their stuff, I'm gonna have to see if I can get these on my phone when I have the time. I feel kinda nosy asking about things even if you have said its fine to ask, but I like to listen, If you want to go into more detail when your writing its fine by me :) Last year I wrote an essay peice which only needed to be about 6 pages 4000 ish words as around 28 pages and around 25,000 words (I know the page count was around 27-28 not sure about the other details), Its fair to say I ramble on a bit. but I apprecieate the long messages (Not meaning I demand that you write long messages, but rather that length does not bother me, but I think my 28 pages may have bothered the teacher who marked it).

    As for John Mayor I havent heard of him but I like Born and Raised (From what I've heard so far) I might actually attempt to learn this one as it has some really nice guitar in it), as you may realise, this message is being written while going through some of the music (I think I found that error you said about, if its the one that sounds almost like a record being spead up that is, still a nice song though).

    I appoligise if any of this is a little incoherent I try'd my best but I think the 4 hours of ethics and philosophy I had today (With a short break at 2 hours) has taken it out of me a bit, so I'll probably try and write again tomorrow. I had some other songs I remembered but I cant for the life of me remember what they were now. I will also check the new comment you made for the other post, I feel like I should try and answer the other one now, but I think I wouldn't be able to answer straight right now.

    Thanks for posting again though Fay :)

    Kind Regards

    John :) xxxx

  • Hey again John,

    I received this reply first so I thought I'd make a start by posting here. :) I also wanted to start off by saying that of course I don't mind you mind you waiting before you reply to the comment in your first post (which I've just read and will probably read again :) ). I can completely appreciate what you're saying about you feeling as though it wouldn't be worth writing because of concentration and exhaustion. And many a times I have written in response to someone and wasn't up to it, not only would it nearly kill me actually writing it, but the next day I would read back and would be devastated by the poor quality and uselessness of the response. So you're doing the right thing. :) As for the Philosophy and Ethics work - it sounds like you've been working very hard. Just remember to be careful. If you have a 4 hour chunk of work to do, I would advise taking regular breaks as it's more productive, because you're more alert during the time you're spending working, rather than slowing up from getting tired. It all depends on how long we can concentrate for, but you could try 20 mins before taking 10 mins out, or if you feel like you’re making good progress a little longer before breaking.

    Strange, isn't it? :) How we can become so attached to an artist – how they can have such a profound effect on people they don’t and may never know. My sister has a Maroon 5 CD (not sure which album it was) which she got for 9th birthday or something, and we used to play it in the car all the time, we knew (probably still do), all the lyrics to the song 'This love is taking its toll on me...' and it was our highest scoring song on Singstar (such good times :') ). Yeah I'm bad too believe me, if I didn't get CD's for my birthday I doubt I would even own any. And the funny thing is now most the HMV's have closed my heart is yearning for it. I'd probably spend a lot of my time in there if they reopened it. I have a whole list in mind of all the albums I would buy if the one near us was open, but I'm sure I'll manage to buy them some other way. :) Ed Shareen, yes got a lot appreciation and respect for him - he knows who he is and he writes his music on his own terms. :) I have his + album on my iTunes that my cousin lent me and his good music is good for chilling out to. :) And yes Queen - another CD we used to listen to in the car so like you, brings back a lot of good memories. Bohemian Rhapsody was apparently the first ever single my mum brought. :) I know what you mean about going off certain music, that's not unusual. And in some ways it's sad when artists change their style so much they're almost beyond recognition. This actually happened radically with the musician I've been obsessing over too (called Jesse McCartney, he's not related to Paul in anyway, which a common misconception because of the shared surname and place in the music industry) who changed in both music style and appearance, some of the old fans actually rejected him and bad mouthed him because of this, you get the impression they'd felt they'd been betrayed (though he got new ones). But I don't think he changed as radically as people thought he did, watching him in interviews (I do this for fun. It might be a good time to point out I am a little obsessed to...) you can see he's still the same person, he just wanted to try a new style. I was apprehensive at first but on listening to his later work it did grow on me - and now I like both his early and later work in different ways.( And even after the transition, you'd still come across work he'd done not dissimilar to his old style anyway - there's definitely some soul both before and after). It's almost like he HAD to change anyway, he was only a teenager when he became really big and some of his early songs wouldn't be so suited for a more mature artist to sing, he had to grow with his music - sorry I'm getting quite passionate here. It's just so unpleasant reading the comments on Youtube of some of his ex-fans, I get so cross! (Ok I'll stop before I rant any further :P ) Anyway, he's actually been working on another genre just recently and released a new EP - songs have a have a late 70s/early 80s feel to them (apparently based on what he listened to growing up, the retro style really suits him), it's incredible and it's been really interesting to see how he's grown and developed as an artist. (It's ok I'll shut up about him in a minute :P but just to get back to your own by saying...) He's produced loads of relationship based songs too. Though generally speaking, about relationships are bit touch and go for me too - I can understand where you're coming from, but because they're such a common fact of life, I think there's always going be a relationship song lurking in their somewhere regardless of who's singing it. Some write from their own experience which is always insightful but I think, depending on the experience of the listener some can connect more to these types of songs than others. I have never really experienced a meaningful relationship myself (I've been close though, and I have been hurt, so it's nothing completely alien to me), so sometimes I'm just not feeling it. The quality of the song - the style, sound and delivery makes such a difference though :) and I know what you mean about being able to relate to music in terms of the way it sounds and is sung. There a lot of songs I can connect to in that sense (even if the lyrics don't fit with the circumstances I'm in) too.

    It sounds like you have good taste in music. :) Is there a lot of screaming in screamo? I wouldn't go near it, I don't like to listen to anything that gives me a headache. Pirate power folk metal sounds rather interesting, though probably not my cup of tea. I bet it's something the friend who showed me 'punkstream' would like - he loves pirates, I remember.

    Yeah that was like me at first, I always knew liked them - and then one day I felt really bad, and Evanescence popped into my head and I started looking up more of their songs. What do you think of Going Under? Pretty severe eh, but amazing eh? :) I feel I can relate to that song and Lithium for my own personal reasons - as well as Missing, more recently.

    Same to you John. :) You're free to share whatever you want. :) And I'll happily share things but we have plenty of time and I'm getting a little tired, so maybe if we save it for another time. It always seems there is so much I want to say when writing, more than the end result actually develops into, but the comment is usually long enough as it is without the extra writing, and it'd be here for ages.

    I have to say, upon reading what your story about your 25,000 word essay it did bring a smile to my face. I used to do exactly the same thing. In my second year of sixthform my general assignments were at least double what they needed to be, sometimes more. So it's definitely something I could relate to. My English coursework only needed to be 2,000 words long but it was about 6,000 and I'd have to shorten it down. Some of the blogs/posts I've written on here are about 7 pages long when copied to a document. The average 'long' blog on here is about 1and a half to 2 pages long, if that. Needless to say it's not really surprising that some people give up and stop reading (quite disappointing considering the amount of effort I've put into some of them, but understandable). I thought it was just me, but it seems I have met my match. :)

    YES. :D I KNEW it, I knew you would like John Mayer. Yes, as well as his vocals, he is well known for his talent on the guitar and his creative genius. I'm sooo glad that I introduced him to you, and you like Born and Raised so much. Not every Youtube video has that interruption on it, so if you scroll down to say maybe a lyric video you should find one without the interruption so you can hear how it's meant to sound. In fact, I'll give you the link now. :)

    You shouldn't find any interruptions in here. Have you listened to Gravity yet? That's one of my favourites. I'm still quite an early fan of John Mayer (or late fan, depending on what you way you want to look at it), so I still haven't heard everything - I'm really looking forward to exploring everything he's done - and have a feeling that by the end of it I'm going to be a huge fan. I'd already consider myself a fan in the sense that, the way I connect to his songs runs incredibly deep, deeper than most songs I've listened to before, and that's saying something - and I shall definitely be buying his albums when I can.

    I won't go off on more of a tangent by talking about any songs/artists because this thread started out by just being songs that you listen to when you feel down, not all types of genres, so we'll save it for another time. We have plenty of it, and there's no rush - at least we know we've got plenty to talk about.

    It's ok it made sense to me, although, as I may have already said, I can really empathise with your frustration if you feel you haven't included everything or missed things out. Just for the record, and I think I did say I'm a bit worried about the most recent comment I made and commented on there again saying I would edit out the mistakes if you needed me to? Not sure how this comment is going to turn out. It's taken me ages to compose and the conditions at which I did them in weren't the best, I'm sharing a room with my sister at the mo because her's is the one getting decorated, and the spare room is filled with her furniture, and she came upstairs after I started writing to watch Bad Education on BBC 3. It didn't matter that I had my earbuds in, I could still here parts of the program and my eyes kept flitting up, almost unconsciously, to the moving screen. I then gave up and went into my parents room. But then my mum entered to change the sheets. I went downstairs but my dad was still up, watching Motor Cops (loudly) on the big telly in the living room. I had to wait for him to leave as it was the most infuriating distraction. I had no where else to go to be on my own, other than the kitchen or the bathroom, but neither are comfortable or suitable. I'm not really coping with sharing a bedroom, it's not my sister personally I have an issue with, but sometimes I NEED to be alone, and that's not happened as much, or when I would like it to. (That's one of the reasons I don't like being away from home at uni, true, I have my own room to sleep in but the walls are so thin - you can hear them and they can here you - I'm too self conscious to do anything fun and it doesn't really feel like mine. I also need quiet, but it rarely is. And because there weren't a great deal of lectures, that's where I'd spend most of my time - feeling alone, trapped and isolated without having much privacy. I wanted to spend more time at uni socialising with people but there was always too much work to do or I couldn't contact the few friends I'd made for various reasons. I like my course, but it isn't enough. Ideally I'd like to study at home. But...we're selling up at some point so I don't exactly know where home will be. :'( Sorry. It's just, no one gets it.)

    After my dad left and I wrote some more, that I realised I really needed the loo, so I saved what I had written on a word document ready to finish later. I wanted it finished for you to see tomorrow which is why I have been persevering and it's taken me the best part of 3 hours just to write this - I hope it makes some sense. I've seen your latest reply to me on your first post. Thankyou, I'm really tired so it's not worth me writing anymore now, but I'll re read what you put and try to write a response tomorrow. :) Like I said, don't worry about not replying straight away in the other post. :) We both know we would like to but sometimes we can't. :) You're welcome and thankyou too. :)

    I hope you are tucked up in bed, sleeping well.

    And I hope by the time you read this you're feeling well - it'll be Wednesday evening at the earliest, over half way through the week! :)

    Gentle (((hugs)))

    Fay :) xxxx

  • Just to let you know I have changed my profile picture. :) It's Fay, hope you still recognise me and it didn't alarm you (one of my friends said it took her few mins to realise it was me). I was listening to some of the music we were talking about (inc. the ones you suggested above), and thought I'd change my fairy to match the theme. I'm going to have another read of your response on your first post. :) Remember: Funkyfairy, my username (which obviously stays the same ), and remember even when I change my profile pic, it will most definitely be a fairy of sorts.

    xx

  • Hey again Fay,

    I just looked at my reply I made yesterday to the other post, and realise I didn't really say much, I feel like I did exactly what you said about with that. But I will atleast attempt to cover all of this message.

    I am glad that you don't mind me taking time to reply, I made a couple of notes of things I thought up this morning when I read this so that I might have a couple of fresh thoughts. Yeah with ethics and philosophy we get two 2 hour blocks, kinda alot, sometimes find myself falling a sleep in lesson, I find it all interesting, but my teacher tends to try and stuff as much into lessons as possible (Mainly probably due to there never being enough time to completely cover the silibus before the exams), when I do work at home I tend to avoid too long periods, though during my first year I went a little over the top, I took the advice (Be an active note taker) a little too far, to the point where I was trying to summarise notes from lessons that night before I went to sleep, I'm not quite so bad now, but I still worry alot.

    I do think it is rather strange how we all make these attatchments to different artists, I actually ended up listening to some of maroon 5 today, so maybe I don't mind it again now, I think the first time I heard them was on the radio a couple of years ago, I think It was 'She will be loved' that I heard, but I didn't know what group wrote it at the time. I'm not sure about that one I think its from the album before their new one, "She said goodbye, to many times before..." :) , I remember playing singstar round someones house when I was younger and also a time when I was at a school and they had a karaoke machine, though both times I was very shy (and I still am rather quiet) so I didn't really play it. Slightly more recently I was round a mates and did though, I kinda wish I had it at home at the time, as especially early on I'd sing when nobody was around.

    Its a shame all HMV's are gone, even though I cant say I bought a great deal of albums (They did some good cheap headphones though, I go through headphones really quick), I actually think the one near me might still be open (Apparently they weren't doing too bad in the end where I am atleast, and even though there was talk of it closing, it stayed open. Might have to check next time I have a chance, I could be wrong).

    I am terrible at keeping up with artists I like, I generally update my collection of music all at once, so I don't think I have really come across too much transition of style within my music, but I imagine it can take some getting used to, actually Maroon 5's first album, which I think that song you quoted was from it seemed (And I think I may have heard it in an interview) was more for a radio audience (I think it was pretty big their at a time) while there new one was them trying something slightly new. The (Maroon 5) latest one "Overexposed" the singer said they called it this because they felt like the sudden fame they got was going to be short lived, so the title was almost there fourthcoming prediction, I thought this was kinda clever. (I like their music, but the singer, think his names Adam Levine or something, seems a little arrogant at times in the few interviews I've seen, but can also be down to earth so I think the feelings neutral).

    People on Youtube can be pretty mean, some are generally hateful and others just want to provoke hate, its madness, you almost want to do something, give them a peice of your mind, but at the same time you know that if most people stay out of it entirely (Don't know if you've heard the phrase 'Don't feed the trolls') it usually just ends quicker. Its kind of the boldness that some people get from talking on the internet rather than face to face. (that might have been a bit of a tangent)

    Come to think of it, I think Ed Sheeran has changed a little, his new stuff tends to encompass more wrap. On my phone I have the studio recorded version (From youtube) of 'You need me man I don't need you' which is 11 minutes long apposed to the actual songs 3 or 4, its more organic though as its literally him making all the looping as he goes. Its kinda cool hearing the layers build up, and the raps good too (I often find the typical rapping doesn't really appeal to me, but his stuff I can relate to a bit more). Speaking of which I just thought of another artist that has some good songs for the mood, I don't know if you've heard of Daughtry, but he does alot of good stuff, some of his you could find on youtube are It's Not Over, Life After You, September, and Over You.

    Yeah, screamo is exactly what it the name implies, its just various tones of scream, not really my cup of tea, the pirate power folk metal is kinda accordians and stuff, some of the tunes are a little catchy but again, not something that I would listen to casually, I do have this love of pirates though, induced by Pirates of the Carribean rather than excentric accordian piano guitar player people (Thats the best description I could come up with).

    Yeah I listened to Missing and Lithium, and when I have time (And if I remember) I'll check those out. I don't want to sound like I'm pretending there good, I can tell I'd get into them, but songs tend to grow on me usually rather than just love at first sound. I have got a growing mental list of songs I need to get so I'll probably get them pretty soon.

    Thanks for the link :) I think I'm actually going to make a list of songs that I want to get so that I can get them all when I next do my usually large downloading session.

    Gravity's good, kinda quite a calm down beat song, I like a good bit of guitar though so its still really good and catchy :D. Nah I can usually make sense of a little mix up of words and that, so don't worry :) I can still make good sense of them, though I kinda feel looking back on the comment I made that I should've written more.

    I completely understand the conditions problem, I don't have anything against my brother, I usually get on fine with him, but he's my opposite, he's more extroverted, and often quite narrow minded (Not saying all extroverts are). I'm not sure if he notices, but whenever I'm doing something like posting here I go back to windows screen and pretend to be looking for a program or something. Dunno thats just what I do, I also have always shared a room with my brother, it has its Pro's and Con's, the Pro's are occasionally we end up singing and that which is alright, and we sometimes have a good talk about something. But on the other hand, he tends to be judgemental, more messy than me (Though I'm not the tidiest of people), also and this really annoys me, he always runs around making noise trying to find all of his stuff at around 12 oclock when we both have things to do early in the morning. Anyways I make do.

    Two days a week (Maybe only one now) I get a day with no lessons, so I get that peice and quiet I both enjoy it and feel kinda off in it, I usually still do something in that time but, I dunno, I get a little stir crazy if I don't have some kind of interaction in a day (Last term I used to go in to study even when I didn't have lessons, so occasionally I would talk to someone).

    I have a problem where I feel really self conscious when I'm in my room, because I can hear the next door neighbor against the wall that I have my desk next to (When I sing and things this makes me weary). I'm sure you'll find your way (Or at least I hope you do), I wish there was more I could do than just offer words. I know I always have a hard time doing anything when works on my mind, I feel like I have to give it 100% which obviously means I end up making sacrifices without realising it.

    I've actually saved this on a notepad document and have been adding to it in the last two days or so. I hope equally that this makes just as much sense as yours did to me (Not entirely sure how long I've been writing for, time flying and all).

    I noticed your changed pic, but I know you by your name as well, I like it, quite fitting :)

    I hope you're having a good week because though I tend to give myself a hard time, this has made it brighter :) its nice having someone to talk to whos on the same wavelength

    (I also hope this isn't too disconjointed to read)

    (((Hugs)))

    John :) xxxx

  • Hi again John :)

    Lovely to see you again. That's ok try not to worry about it, as I said, sometimes we want to say more but we can't always. I think it's great that you've written me such a lovely long message this time round, but don't worry if you can't always do it. I don't demand it, merely it's a bonus if the response is long. :)

    I've just been working on a post to put as an introduction on here but a.) it's pretty depressing, it wasn't intended to be depressing, but that's just how it turned out. b.) it's over 5000 words long. I'm sure the average post size isn't much more than 500. Again, it wasn't intended to be long, but as I writing it just got bigger and bigger and realised I needed most of what I saying to explain the situation I was in - how I got to this point - and because I worked so hard on what I did put it in there I didn't really want to take any of it out. So, is it worth posting? Will people bother to read it?

    I'm sorry John I'm so crippled by exhaustion at the moment...the painters and decorators are starting to take their toll on me. I've been going to bed and getting up late just so I could avoid them but this sleep pattern isn't suited to even me, who's a bit of a night owl. But I thought by now I'd better at least acknowledge I got your message and read through it once. I'll have another read.

    I'm going to go and get something eat now and I will probably reply to your post in full later today. I will reply to it. In the meantime, I don't know if you've seen my latest response on your original post, if not, check it out. :)

    I'll speak to you again soon.

    (((Hugs)))

    Fay :) xxxx

  • And you don't have to answer the questions. :P That's for me to decide. xx

  • Hey John,

    I have literally just read your latest reply to me on your original post! :) While I’ve been working on this one. (Great minds, eh? :P ). It really put a smile on my face. Seeing, as I’ve been working on this response, and you commented on this post initially, I will, first, send you this response. :)

    Sorry for the delay. I tried going to bed early again last night - although I couldn't get to sleep and I've not been up long. Fortunately he's not going to be here for a while now, so I'll have some breathing space. :)

    That's a good idea that you made a few notes after reading this :) I might start doing that. Yeah, philosophy is really interesting but you have to be awake for it because it's a lot to get your head around. I did a philosophy module last semester at uni and I loved it so much but it can get a bit wearing if you work for long periods of time, or go into detail too early on. In terms of lessons, I had the same problem in English and wasn't able to get all the notes down, as she was talking too fast - again as we had a big syllabus. I don't know how your course works but do you get a choice of what questions you can answer in the exam? We did (both in the Philosophy module and English A level), so we didn't really need to know everything we taught, we could play to our strengths. Perhaps, if your exam works in a similar way, select a few modules you want to specialise in and focus on them. And then for the remainder of the course just take down the compulsory points. I don't know whether you find listening or note taking more valuable either, but it's not always easy to do both, especially when you're tired. I'm also wondering, if the drowsiness is a real problems in lessons, would the teacher allow you to record it? You could possibly query it up with them.

    I'm glad you're not over doing it as much as you were last year - sometimes I do wonder about the credibility of advice schools give to their students, for a start, everyone is different anyway - we all learn differently. Secondly, try to follow every single piece of advice and you'll find it isn't always possible (I bet one piece of advice they would have given you was: get plenty of sleep! Not something you could do if you were doing every other single they were suggesting It's a compatibility issue). Perhaps schools deliberately exaggerate the amount of extra work they want their pupils to do, knowing that the majority won't follow the guidelines but at least they'll do some. For example, when we were in year 10 it started in our house diaries we were expecting to do an average of 2-3 hours per night minimum (there was a big emphasis on the minimum to believe me) on homework, which when you think about it is unrealistic at that age - I remember adding it up in my head, in the summer holidays before I started my GCSE's and I just couldn't find the appropriate allocated time to fit everything in. It seemed students would take this as code just to do an hour or an hour and a half - and in hindsight, the teachers were probably aware, and satisfied with this amount in practice (a bit like when you tick the box saying you have 'read, accepted and understood the terms and conditions' - no one ever does and the companies must know damn well they don't, the amount of text their is). It's just one of life's strange ways. The problem with doing this - is that the more thorough students could fall into the trap of taking this face value: and would either over work themselves or get stressed about not doing enough. But try not to get stressed about it. I hope you can understand where I am coming from and I have eased some of the worry.

    Now, moving on the topic of music. :) It is strange indeed. I mean, you get some people who just aren't bothered, whatsoever about music, and some are completely passionate. I think these attachments to artists are an element integral to our identity and sense of self. As humans, we like to make connections, of course - to music, lyrics and there's nothing much like having a piece of music we can relate to, that really justifies how we feel. (I suppose an example would be what you say about feeling you have a similar personality to Ed Sheeran). Secondly, because we're rarely share our taste with anyone else, it's something that's still ours. They say you can find out a lot about a person from the music they listen to.

    That's cool :D She Will Be Loved is a great song, and I think we have it on our album - all this talk about Maroon 5: I may well have to have a hunt in my mum's car so I can put it on my laptop and add it to my collection. :) It's always a nice feeling when you rediscover something you used to like or be interested in, it's like being reunited with an old friend. With Singstar, it was only my sister and our mutual friend, who we often used to play it with, so we didn't feel self-conscious around one other and played it quite a lot. Both me and my sister, we are quite shy by nature, though. Although I think we're both shy in different ways, if that makes sense. I can really relate to what you're saying about singing when nobody else is around, I used to love to do this and I haven't in a while.

    Yeah not all the HMV's are gone. The one near us isn't there anymore, I tried to persuade my dad, earlier today if he could maybe take me shopping further afield where there is a HMV open so I could have a proper scout round for the CD's I was hoping to get (he said no). Let me know whether your HMV is open and whether you find anything. :)

    Most of the time I’m not great at keeping up with artists I like either. I tend to add to, rather than update my collection (or I’m starting to now, as I really put some of the previous stuff I used to listen to) – even if I think I’m going off some of the songs – if I comes on after a while I might like it again, and it’ll give me that sense of nostalgia, I suppose. But, like you, when I’m putting new stuff on there I put in bulk as well. :) The artist I mentioned earlier I’m a bit of a late fan of, but you can’t help but notice the difference between his earlier and later style, it’s so obvious. I suppose it must be hard though, if you’ve been following the same person from a young age over the course of a few years, if you develop certain expectations about what you might produce – to then see that change. I suppose some people either just go with it, and others get put out. (I suppose to an extent I can understand some people’s comments on Youtube, just I think the points they make are a bit strong, and they haven’t taken all the factors into consideration. Sometimes I would like to step in and argue my case, but knowing that they misinterpret my points and that it may cause more harm than good – probably better just to let them carry on, let ‘sleeping dogs lie’ as it will. :) ) As for trolls, I have certainly heard ‘Don’t feed the trolls’ a number of times, and it’s a good saying – as I think the underlying definition of a troll is to cause trouble upheaval – which then increases their power. It does make me wonder, what kind of lives must these people lead?

    That’s a clever title. I suppose, when you think about it, most people’s success (or at least the intensity of it), does pass pretty quickly (especially if the rise to fame is sharp), so the title ‘Overexposed’ is also a great way of encapsulating the fickleness and unpredictability of fame. Your further point about Maroon 5’s original work being made for radio (it was played on the radio a lot too I remember :) ), and their later work being them trying something a bit different, is an interesting one. I guess, when an artist really comes into their own – that’s the price they have to pay, as their music is less ‘mainstream’ they become less known. However, the demographic – whilst smaller – becomes incredibly more loyal I think, based on my own observations anyway. (And because they’re less famous, the artists themselves can have more of a private life – so when you think about it? Who’s got the better end of the deal?) It seems that, a certain degree of arrogance does affect even the nicest of people if they experience success, but it usually passes after sometime and they get back down to Earth (it’s when it doesn’t pass it becomes an issue). :) And I totally know what you mean, I always say it’s much easier to respect someone as an artist if you can respect them first as a person. :)

    I only have one of Ed's albums in my iTune’s so I’m not sure how much he’s changed – You Need Me I Don’t Need You is a great song, I have the album version and I listened to it again shortly after reading your comment the first time. :) They are a great set of lyrics, so honest and down to Earth. The studio version sounds great too, in many ways preferable to the official release – there’s something a lot more sentimental about studio recordings – more organic as you say – and you feel more in touch with the artist I suppose. I’ll have a look for it in Youtube :) (if I can’t find it may have to pester you for the link :P ), and I’ll have a listen to Daughtry and let you know how I get on. :)

    Me too :) I think the first Pirates of the Caribbean film is great – I must admit though, I couldn’t help feeling that the other films have veered a little of track maybe? Or perhaps it’s just me. I didn’t feel they had the same appeal by comparison and didn’t have the motivation to follow them through. Maybe I’ll have another look at the second one and see what I think, I haven’t seen them (apart from the first one) in a while, so maybe I was too young to understand the series the first time round. Similarly to you, things need to grow on me too. :) And I respect your honesty. :) Listen to them if and when you want. :) I also do the same – I make notes of the songs I’m planning to get so I download them all together. I don’t have any of John Mayer’s songs, in my collection at the moment, because I want to wait and get the albums. :) In the meantime I’ll keep getting to know his songs on Youtube, whatever ones I can find anyway – as like you, with Missing and Lithium, I can tell I’m getting into them. :) The thing about CD’s is that you can rely on the quality (whereas with downloading it’s a little more touch and go), and I think if it’s someone you really like (if it’s just the one song then yeah it makes sense just to download that one) – and you know you can get access to their albums (I’ve seen them selling John Mayer’s albums in a HMV, but some artists I can’t find their CDs anywhere, not mainstream enough I suppose?) then I think it’s worth it. :D There’s also something rewarding about being able to ‘hold’ a piece of music and its beautiful album art work - does that make sense? But I digress. :) I’m glad you enjoyed Gravity – that’s definitely one the things I noticed too – the strong rhythm. Thanks :) I know most of the times you can but there have been times in the past where mistakes have been so bad it’s actually changed the meaning, and people misinterpret what I’ve said, and it’s incredibly frustration and feels unfair to the person on the receiving end. I think that’s why I worry so much because of the consequences in the past. Maybe I’ve gone too far with the worrying though. :) As I said, please don’t worry about how much you wrote before – I know, from experience that it’s hard to let go, but sometimes these happen, and remember we have plenty of time to go over things again. :)

    Me and my sister are opposites in many ways too (I certainly don’t share all the aspects of her TV taste!) Sharing a room with her has similar pros too, sometimes we’ll get talking which is nice. :) But we haven’t done so much recently as we’re on different sleep routines (because she has sixthform and I have to avoid seeing the painters and decorators), which is a shame really. We’re both painfully shy, but I think we’re shy in different ways if that makes sense? She has problems talking to people who are older than her – whereas with me it’s people my own age who I feel self-conscious in front of (apart from close friends that I trust that is), and I’m constantly trying to gage what they think of me, this has been happening particularly since going to uni and not having anyone I know (it’s exhausting!). I’m not particularly tidy either, although she’s definitely the messiest! That said, she’s not been too bad since moving in with me. :) Unfortunately she can’t hack my singing though. She gets frustrated enough if my earbuds are too loud. Oh gosh…for us it’s kind of the other way round, I tend to be the one looking for something in the middle of night which sometimes annoys her – especially as she has to be up the next morning too! But I hope I’m not as bad as your bro, it usually doesn’t go on for long, and I haven’t done it so much recently anyway. I can appreciate how irritating it must be - it sounds like you're coping really well though be proud of yourself for that. We’re both making do at the moment. But it’s always good fun for a few nights when I crash on her bedroom floor when we have family staying over, or when we’re sharing a room on holiday) like last Christmas, for example. Christmas was great. We seemed to bond those few nights and I found out that, while in some ways she’s my opposite – we’re a lot more similar in many ways than we realised. Especially I think, since we’ve both got older. (She’s only 15 months younger than me so the elusive ‘age gap’ has closed again, that’s one of the factors I think).

    I totally understand what you mean about not having lessons. While free periods are good sometimes after too long they can be dry, depressing and lonely. When I was at sixth form (oh, I miss it :( it’s quite sad really), I found the interaction of lessons incredibly valuable – that’s the thing I looked forward to about going to it. I sometimes went into school during my free periods too and spoke to people (even after my last exam, I was reluctant to leave! :P ), and it does help. :) If you’re able (and I know it’s not always possible), try to get someone to study with? Or if your teachers aren't teaching use free periods as an opportunity to query up anything with them, ask them questions about parts of the course you don't understand, this also means you're getting the interaction, while making use of your free periods and giving yourself some structure.

    Any type of interaction helps though, do you have unlimited texts? You could even just text one of your friends to ask how they are and let them know you're thinking of them :) , as even the little things help.

    I’m sorry you have this same problem in your bedroom. I know it’s easier said than done – but just try and ask yourself – what it’s to them if you like singing? You’re in your own space after all, and how do they know that you know they can hear you (one of those fascinating ‘epistemological questions’ ;) ). That said, how do they know it’s you? They’re not going to see you and I doubt you ever see them either. But I know that’s easier said than done.

    Thankyou - well your words mean a lot. :) I really hope I do too, it’s really dragging me down, living with people I don’t feel I have anything in common and spending most of my time at uni on my own. I really need to find a solution as it’s causing a lot of hassle, living with people who I don’t feel I have much in common with and spending most of my time, isolated in my room – which is affecting my self-esteem. I never used to have problems making some form of connection with other people – but since going to uni (and probably because of all the stress before I went, which I talked about it in detail in the blog that I was debating posting) I’ve just not been myself. I just wish my parents would understand. Their advice is usually something along the lines of ‘I know it’s hard but try harder’. ‘Make an effort’. Which isn’t really constructive…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t dump all this on you. Just so you know I’ve just spoken to my dad about it all and I’m feeling a lot better, he gave me lots of good advice, and he understands and reminded me of lots of my good points. So please don’t worry. :) I’m sorry if my comment about the depressing post I’d been working on upset you, I was just having one of my ‘wobbles’ as it were - and think I just needed to get some things off my chest. I probably won’t post it now anyway, as I said most of what I wanted to say to my dad.

    Regarding what you say about having a hard time doing anything other than work, and making sacrifices, I have the same problem too, so I understand where you’re coming from. Just remember that sometimes you do NEED break, doing the things you enjoy. So that you’re able to work more productively when you are working. I think what they say is, work smarter, not harder. :) Only make sacrifices that are really worth making, as remember, life isn’t worth living if it’s all work and no play. I don’t know if you’re able to do this but are you able to plan it so your weekends are completely free? If you divide your ‘work/life’ balance in this way, this might help you to a.) focus better during the week and b.) do the things that give you pleasure without worrying about work. And then when you go back to school on Monday, you’ll also be ready and refreshed for a new week. :) I know it’s easier said than done, but just think about it. (One of the frequent pieces of advice I hear is, ‘do it on the day it’s set’, it’s not always possible admittedly – there are many factors to take into consideration, how much other work do you have outstanding? How tired are you that day and how big is the piece of work? But ideally, you’d do whatever set’s on Fri and by the time you go to bed that night, have a clean slate ready for the next week. You could maybe plan to do this after the half term. I’ll make an attempt to do this next semester.) Also, remember what I said nearer the beginning – perhaps some of your doubt is down to the ‘Terms & Conditions Syndrome’? (Came up with that on a whim, feeling pretty pleased with myself. *Does a little dance*).

    I have saved this on a word document and have been working on it – on and off, for the past 24 hours or so. :) So I hope it makes sense (yours was fine :) a pleasure as always; and thankyou).

    And thankyou re. the username. :) that means a lot. I don’t know if you realised this, but my name actually means fairy (also grew up loving them :) ). And when I was younger some people used to call me ‘Funkyfay’ - as I did myself. I’ve always prided myself on my sense of style. So ‘Funkyfairy’ seemed like the right name for me – able to show who I was while retaining my anonymity. Although I don’t hesitate to share my first name with people who I know and like. :)

    I hope you’re having a lovely week too. :) Mine’s been ok in the big scheme of things (it’s been cheered up by talking to you, I mean that) – I am really sorry my brief response to you was so abrupt and if I came across as feeling down, I actually started composing a response there and then and the exhaustion just hit me, but I wanted you to see that I’d read your response and was on the case it were – however, looking back, I know I could have worded it better, so for that I am really sorry. Also, thankyou so much – that means so much. Talking to you – as I said - has really brightened things up for me as well. :) I introduced myself just over 10 days ago and yet it feel A LOT longer. We’re definitely on the same wavelength! :)

    I’ll have a second read your other response and probably have the time to get back to you tomorrow. :) (I know I said that before, but I’m feeling more confident this time, sorry for the delay first time round). Also, hope I haven’t missed anything out (let me know if I have), as I know I have gone off on a BIG tangent in some places! ^-^

    Big (((Hugs)))

    Fay :) xxxx

  • Hey Fay,

    Again thanks for posting :) I'm glad that my other post made you smile (Its kinda like we're having two separate conversations on different posts, so take your time, or just post everything on one, its up to you. I just hope this isn't too confusing), its also fine that you weren't able to reply as quickly, I tend to have the same problem.

    I had Ethics and Philiosophy again today, not at all as dull so I didn't have the time to fall asleep, though my teacher can go on, he really knows his stuff, he makes up all the sheets on his own and has actually met a number of the philiosophers we talk about. (I swear he'd be a brilliant university lecturer, but then again its nice to have someone as passionate about there subject for an a level subject) we ended up doing almost like a sermon today (I've only recently learnt the difference between a sermon and a lecture), we had different points to explain, and though I really hate speaking in class I actually did fairly well considering (I'm suddenly getting better at reading, but reading my own works something I'm less comfortable with), I think we're currently covering the religious experience unit (I would ramble on but I'm not sure as to if you'd want to here about all the philosophy, if you do though, I don't mind going into more detail :) ). I might have to look into recording them, then again nearly all of the stuff we're taught we get on sheets.

    I get what you mean with the note taking, it probably doesn't help that I am not one for summarising I only really write things in full :p and yeah, I don't know why they do that with sylabus' they must be fully aware that covering all of the things within it will involve sacrificing detail in some areas, we do get two possible questions for both ethics and philosophy (Of which we must do only one of each) so we do get a bit of choice. In class now I tend to higlight and note on sheets as our teacher mostly reads through them, but occasionally I make notes (Generally when I do it this way I make it through the lesson). Again I'm doing better at balancing out work than last year, but it always seems to eat at the back of my mind.

    Yeah sleep seems to be the deprived thing in students, even without work, I only get around 5 or 6 hours generally (I think at my age I'm meant to get a minimum of 7) but alot of other people I know claim they only get around 3ish (They might be exagerating, I'm not sure).

    I am more or less completely self motivated in my ICT as I am the only person taking that particular course, and so I don't have the speed of others to judge against mine which can be a problem (As I feel like I need to get everything done as quickly as possible). They say to us that we should be doing the equivelant amount of time we spend in lessons outside of them so 4 hour lesson, 4 hours over the week, so I suppose thats not too bad. I think your right about the way they say longer to encourage students to actually do some work, not neccesarily the amount they say (But work towards that limit in mind). No one usually reads those terms and conditions, I think the only reason they bother is so that the user has the oppertunity to turn it down and so not accept the contract. It does seem pretty pointless though.

    Onto music though, yeah I think one of the big attachments I have is nickelback, I used to listen to this when I cycled frequently so when I listen to it I can almost smell the mud, oil rain and such. I don't cycle much now, but at the time it was my way of staying sain, I think the older maroon 5 stuff was also something I listened too back then.

    When I first heard Maroon 5 it was pretty much 'omg I heard this song on the radio once, they're amazing' so I totally agree with you on the feeling you get when you hear a peice of music you havent heard in years.

    I'm pretty sure its still open, but again I haven't had time to check, the last thing I bought was on a gift card someone gave me a while ago, I bought Jason Maraz' new album at the time and never really listened to it (It was all love songs and I had more or less only just ended a relationship a week or two ago).

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who does that :), I just don't do it until theres a large build up of songs, but I often find that I will eventually go through my old stuff so I just add to mine also. I think currently I have around 350 ish songs on my phone. I'm gonna have to go through that artist you said about and his music, I have made a list or at least a mental note, so I'll have to look through all these songs :). The comments on youtube can be a little overly biased, it kinda annoys me, but as I don't really do alot of watching while logged in I don't really find myself able to respond to hate (Though that doesn't mean I havent wanted to). I think the problem with trolling is its sometimes hard to tell whether someone is genuinely making these comments or is simply trying to provoke more people to get annoyed (Its an odd cycle) I think its kind of just there way at getting back at people for whatever reason, a bit like that guy who went around posting obscene comments on here that was banned quite swiftly (Don't know if you saw any of his comments but he was quite clearly just trying to wreak havok for the sake of havok).

    I like when things have deeper meanings, a bit like poems (Though I never was too good at interpretation when it came to those), as for the artist fame, that makes alot of sense, I suppose theres the people who want to be famous and get attention, and those who have attention but want rid of it or feel like it'll just be short lived. I always found Ed's looping quite intriguing and clever (Though this has been done before, I think he's the only artist I listen to who tends to do alot of it), and sure if you want any links just let me know :)

    I tend to like the escapism of movies and films, I absolutely love pirates of the carribean, I think I just like the idea of pirates, pirate ships, that kinda thing, so though the newer films are probably not as gripping as the first one, I am just a big fan of the idea. I understand that you might not like them though, sometimes sequels can really ruin a film story. I just love long series' and things, but I'm not really into the stuff alot of people I know watch, the last series I really loved ended a while ago, don't know if you've heard of Fringe? its a series about psuedo science and has some really cool things in it (If your into sci-fi, though I it can also be a bit cringy in places, graphic and stuff), I kinda also liked a series called Warehouse 13 but I haven't really watched that lately (I hope this didn't go on too much :p, give me a speech and I'll get it over with as quickly as possible, but give me a keyboard and I'll write my brains out).

    I can't say I heard of John Mayor before you suggested him (Though I'm not all that well informed) so maybe he's not mainstream enough, yeah there is something satisfying about owning an album, with its cool cover art and often that little book that has all the track numbers, I actually just realised I own four albums, I kind of just forget; Adele 21 (Someone bought that for me), Jason Maraz (I said about this one somewhere above), Overexposed and FUN. (I think the albums called some nights).

    There was one occasion which particularly sticks out for me on one forum where I accidentally said a username wrong unintentionally insulting said user (Might not be as bad misinterpretation as you're reffering too, but I get your point). I hope you don't worry too much when you reply to this, I'm sure I will be alright with what you write :) (I always take a long time to reply to texts, I end up wanting to re-word something or not be so assertive, it drives me mad. My brother literally just writes and sends, I don't get how he does it).

    I don't really know what my sister is like at school (As she lives with my mum, I see her every other week though, and skype her occasionally). But she's alot more like me and my brothers far more extroverted I suppose. I too tend to be fine with people older than me but not so good with those my age (I always thought it weird that on occasions I got on with peoples parents better than their son or daughter who was my age).

    I'm sure your not :), my brother is just generally a little inconsiderate around the house, so I think the late night wonder just pushes me over the edge a little. I did all that stuff last year when my exams were over, I just liked the company, but this time round I've been a little more staying at home, doing my own thing. It probably doesn't help two of my good friends that I don't see too much are not in any kind of education at the moment, and are just taking it easy (Though they have pointed out often that they run out of things to do).

    I feel like I'm bothering people when I pester them with messages, I do have unlimited texts though, not many of my friends do, I don't think.

    I kind of reason with myself usually that it doesn't matter what they think, I'm proud of who I am, but it doesn't always work, it only really bothers me when I can here clunking etc, of someone next door. It can as you say be easier said than done though.

    Well I'm glad that my words at least kind of mean something :). I don't know what their is at your uni (There all kind of different) but I don't know if there's any groups (Or clubs, not sure what they call them) that share similar interests, maybe you've already tried that, also probably easier said than done.

    I've always had problems with self esteem, in earlier years I literally never left my home besides for school, I'm doing a bit better now, I'm doing some things to help express myself a bit more (Like this) that I hope will help a little. That isn't very constructive, your right :/ , don't worry about dumping things on me, I don't mind listening if theres anything you want to say :), if you want to say about what you wrote in that post I don't mind, as I said I'll listen. At any rate I'm glad you managed to sort it out with your dad :)

    Yeah I've been trying my best to balance it out a bit better as of this week at least, Its really hard work! That do it on the day it was set thing was what lead me to summarise (Or try) on the day I got them, but eventually it became too much and I pretty much broke down into tears, some people wouldn't really care, but I felt like it was the end of the world, I had been getting less and less sleep. I try to keep to a routine now, I usually do my ethics and philosophy on the free friday I have, and ICT usually tomorrow a little, I think it is still a little down to Terms & Conditions Syndrome though (I like that, its clever and it made me smile :) )

    I like your name, its kinda catchy :) and now you've explained that It kinda makes sense where you got the idea from, having been brought up by a father who is somewhat of a paranoid network analyst I find that sometimes I feel I should keep more anonimity online. But recently I've been a bit more open, I tend to like to come up with names for myself, but to me, just having my name in a username and nothing else is a big step (Obviously my second name is not the sequence of numbers that follows), but its kinda something that I don't usually do (I admit this is a little silly, even if I did have my second name here, its unlikely that I'm the only one with that exact name).

    I didn't mind your first reply being short, I knew that you said you were going to reply later :) I hope you are feeling okay. it does seem like a lot longer though doesn't it?

    as I have been writting this you made a reply to the other post, I am a little tired and I will read it through tomorrow as I'll have plenty of time, it seems that we actually reply alternately :P I think we both enjoy going of on tangents a bit so theres hopefully no problem there :)

    I have just been working on this for the past few hours, time really flies sometimes, I really get into writing like this, I hope I have covered everything. I again hope that this isn't too riddled with errors to read though (And that the length isnt a problem, I think this might be quite long when I've posted it), and will reply to your other post as soon as I can.

    Big (((Hugs))) happily returned :)

    John :) xxxx

  • Hey My name is Michael. I'm 51 but my doesn't know that yet. A lot of what you are listening to sounds like it would be depressing. I have never been to a rave but I love the music. The artists interject alpha and beta waves into their music and to me when I'm really feeling shitty I like 1200 micrograms. Its not that you have to really relate with idea of drugs thats not my point in the suggestion. Just that it seems to stop the white noise in my head. It makes the body want to move. I grew up in the early 70's and 80's but I have a lot of old school rap and lots of other stuff. My music folder has over 15k songs. I love downloading concerts to elevate my moods.

    You really are not alone in this emotional roller coaster. Just for a sec. look at the average jock. High school is all they will ever have. Not that I dislike Jocks. At 27 he is married, have 2 or 3 kids, he's renting because he's never got over his past. In another 5 years if they are lucky they won't have anymore kids because they are getting a divorce. He's holding on to the Ol'e glory days and having an affair.

    Your female friends will recognize the fact you are a nice guy, someone they can trust. Women are smarter than I like that. They to are afraid and make mistakes doing what they think will make them popular. I really hope this finds you feeling a bit better. Need some music? How big is your mailbox.

    Peace

    Just listening

  • Hey Michael,

    Thanks for commenting, all that stuff about music and the alpha and beta raise sounds interesting, kinda like subliminal messaging almost, I get what you mean, and I'm glad that I posted on here.

    People always say that you aren't alone, but that doesn't really prove anything until you come across them (Or they come across you).

    This has helped :) and if theres music you'd reccomend I'll happilly check it out.

    Thanks

    John

  • I really wish I had not read your post. and all the replies. I have never felt so old in all my life. Out of all the songs I only recognised about 2, really shows my age.

    Having been thinking there are 2 songs, I think may uplift your soul, a little, one is. "There's a hole in my bucket dear Lisa". and the other is. "I'm a Pink toothed brush, your a Blue toothed brush". Both very popular in their day.

    I hope you find they have the desired effect, as for me,, I'm going to bed, lie under the clothes, with my head beneath the pillow for a few months, until. I get my telegram from the Queen. Hope you enjoy my choice.

  • I'm actually the same when I look at my brothers music, he literally updates his collection daily I usually get all my songs from him. Songs come and go so quickly now, its completely mad. Thanks for your comment though it deffinately had the uplifting effect on my soul :)

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