The title says it all really.. I wish I could've made my family proud,especially my mum,since she is the one that gave me life,and I chose to f**k up what is so precious and what she gave me..
She's always been there for me,never turned her back on me,never really says wshe's disappointed in me,but she doesn't have to,I can feel it..
My brother has the c,ar,the house,a decent job,the 2.4 kids (well,3,and they're gorgeous) ,and i'm happy for him,but i'm ashamed to say I'm also jealous of him.
Why could I not have turned out 'normal',why do I have to be my mother's 'worry-child' as she calls it herself (eventhough I'm 37!)
I've looked after myself since I was 15,and moved to the other side of the world on my own when I was 18,but I still feel like I can't look after myself,which,I suppose I can't,I don't know how to live a normal life,know nothing about mortgages,can't drive,wouldn't know how to do a house up,I can just about manmage to keep one..
I feel like a little girl in a grown up world,scared,lonely,incapable,and I wish the day would come when it's all over and I ,and my family,can have peace,,