I'm getting tested for pcos. : This is gonna... - Women's Health

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I'm getting tested for pcos.

Villainn profile image
3 Replies

This is gonna take too long, so im so sorry in advance.

I'm getting tested for pcos.

Hello, ever since I've known myself, I've been hairy... There were hairs on my cheeks and my high school classmates bullied me and i got the laser treatment at the age of 16. It didn't make the hairs go away, on the contrary it made my hairs get worse. Now i have to shave my neck. There are hairs on my shoulders. The ones on my arms look disgusting too - they're curly. Even though my hair on my head is wavy, my hairs on my body are curly!

I'd stopped the laser treatment at the age of 19 and started the electrolysis hair removal and i stopped it around the time of pandemic i guess. I was 26 years old back then. And at 27, i told myself "i should identify as a transman, maybe this way the society will accept me as a human." As a hairy "woman", i look like a monster.

I've never had a boyfriend,i hate my body. I dont take selfies, i dont apply makeup, i dont go out without my mask.....i am getting weight because of the stress and depression. My mother body-shames me (of course i live with my parents at the age of 29) and tells me to lose weight but foods are the only thing that makes me happy. Why would i make this body healthier? If i were skinny,I'd still have these curly hairs. I'll never get a boyfriend, so why bother? I'm trying to be happy with eating.

Since i identified as a transman 2 years ago, i have understood I've been lying to myself. I shouldn't hide behind a gender crisis. My soul is a female's and my body is a male's - if my soul had not been a female's, i would not have grown a rapunzel hair. The only thing that I'm lacking is a penis. This keeps me from going crazy and shaving my head. I'm visiting a doctor nowadays. And she's testing me. She'll tell me for sure, if i have pcos. I believe i do have that. But the biggest symptom is not having periods. I have regular periods. Maybe it's just hirtuism. But i cannot take it anymore. It's been 13 years and i hate my life. I can't wait until she prescribes me hormones because i am sure i need them more than a transwoman. I need an injection, contraceptive pills won't be enough for me. I'd get those injections until i died even if they made me obese. I want to tell my doctor this next time i see her. I'll tell her:

I'm not planning to have children. Make my hairs disappear. I may go bald, i dont care. I may lose my eyelashes, i dont care. I may lose my eyebrows, i dont care. I just dont want those gross hairs on my body! I hope she will treat me the way i want. I just want to look natural, normal as in day one. I want to travel back in time and never go for that laser hair removal.

I will never have children. Due to my genes, it'll be the most evil thing to give birth. That child will get born, with my genes. And she'll curse me, for her own hairy body. It's been 13 years with this anxiety guys, I've read a lot.....ive been an antinatalist. No child deserves to be born with ugly genes. I wish i had never been born!

Question; Will hairs stop growing once our menopause begins? I'd gladly go through menopause at the age of 29!!!

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Villainn
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bluebug profile image
bluebug

You need to talk to someone in real life. Mood issues are a symptom of PCOS. Ask you GP if the have access to any talking therapies.

You can apparently have PCOS if you have periods.

This site tends to give more in-depth medical info patient.info/doctor/polycys...

Also you are a risk of diabetes and cardiovascular disease with PCOS.

If you go through the menopause then your bone health will be an issue as well as this. And no there is no guarantee your hairs will stop growing.

wobblybee profile image
wobblybeeAdministratorPioneer

🙂There is a specific support group for PCOS on Healthunlocked…

healthunlocked.com/verity-pcos

ExCarer profile image
ExCarer

I'm a bit like that too. I had terrible irregular painful periods until they corrected themselves in my mid 30s. Still needed some painkillers until menopause age 51.They wanted to do surgery age 18 but I thought, I don't want to get pregnant now-so no thank you and I haven't had any though needed LSCS when had my son. I had electrolysis of my chin for about a year in my 20s, then I shaved and plucked the hairs, which I have now found out was not a good idea as it strengthens them. I have found the best is to have a regular waxing at a salon near me- not expensive I did not think I would ever marry but did so when I was 40. Much to our surprise we had a son when I was just 43, so never say never. Talking therapies might help and a low dose antidepressant to help you sleep. Have you a good GP you can talk to? I always say it is the person who matters, not just your looks.The hairs on my legs have lessened and I usually wear tights. My arms still hairy but I live with it. Try to think positive and do good things rather than thinking of yourself all the time. Keep positive. Think of 3 good things that have happened each day even if small, like traffic lights being green instead of red when in a hurry! Good Luck

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