A revelatory month

[Prognosticator68]

Last day of the month. It's been topsy turvy. I started in in a place of plateau, weight fluctuating back and forth. Many heart to heart chats with my PT on well beaten paths of conversation.

Physical progress was good, I worked hard on my gym sessions, I certainly didn't shirk. However on the eating front a different matter.

There's only so many ways you can propagate your menu in a way that purposefully obfuscates its subject matter. In other words, I knew intrinsically why my weight loss was static. I'm a big advocate of owning your actions. Its crucial to weight loss, because without it you cant have truthful meaningful coversations with yourself.

So I don't lie (anymore) but I'm a Master at understatement, misdirection and being vague. I think this is a defence mechanism that all super obese people develop. The more you've cheated on diets, the greater the lie you tell those around you AND yourself.

I've been overweight pretty much my whole life, some 40+ years so I'm well acquainted with the practise. It also means that in the last 2-3 years I can be brutally honest with myself.

So I know when I'm being avoidant; I have to add though that one thing that's different now is the feeling of shame and the propensity to punish myself over it.

I have learned through those honest conversations we spoke about earlier that owning up to the truth is that it's not an occasion to throw the baby out with the bathwater, but an opportunity to reset.

Its a crucial habit to develop, because unless you're extremely well adjusted, you WILL suffer setbacks, divergence from the path or just downright self sabotage.

The psychology of being overweight is extremely complex but every revelation, every truth presents with it the opportunity to learn about yourself. If you stop learning you're not living, you're existing and thats what lead you right here, right now.

[focused1 Maintainer 13kg]

You can only eat what you buy. If it ain’t in the cupboard then the temptation goes . Every £2 you were going to spend on crisps and biscuits put aside . It will soon mount up . Treats can be theatre tickets , days out. I am responsible for me and that sometimes is tough as I can’t rope anyone else in . You have written what I think but your explanation , examples, experiences are commonly so true . I was nodding as I read . Plain truth is the hardest . We are really in our own but when it is working I loudly share and especially people who haven’t seen me for a while can tell . Can’t hide behind having 5 kids anymore as the youngest is 28 .