This is extremely hard to talk about and is something I've ignored for a long time now, stupidly.
I'm a 26 year old male, 6ft 5in tall and I currently weigh 236kg.
I was diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 9.
Ive never had a large pallete when it comes to food, because I struggle a lot with texture and swallowing, some sort of phobia it feels like.
I'm basically house bound, due to being agoraphobic, so exercise isn't easy for me.
Having attended the gym for 4 months last summer, 2 hours a day 6 days a week without really seeing the results I would've expected, I became very demoralised and quit.
I don't know what to do now
Written by
FatAutisticMan
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Hi and hope your ok. Like you I’m 6ft 5. Stay positive I find walking helps me and watch what I eat and make my meals from scratch so know what’s in the meals. Take cafe and you can do it.
I can see this is difficult for you as our weight is very largely dependant on what, and how, we eat. Do you have any help in dealing with your limited food range? Or with easing the agoraphobia?
Your recent gym experience sounds like over-exercising to me. Would you be able to take a short walk and increase your activity daily? Alternatively, you can find indoor walking videos on YouTube to get you started. But do think of any exercise/activity for its own health benefits, rather than for weight loss.
I'm going to suggest a straightforward healthy eating plan, based on fresh foods, home cooked phcuk.org/wp-content/upload... It is flexible to different tastes. I wonder if you can find anything there that you can tolerate?
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I eat low carb, high fat. I find it healthy, satisfying and it has got me to a healthy weight. Keto is the lowest end of low carb, under 20gms a day. I've done that for a couple of weeks, to get me back into LCHF when I've wandered away from it. It's a good way of starting off on LCHF. Most people move from there to a less restrictive level of carbs but some stick at keto level.
Do you think it might suit you? There's a LCHF forum healthunlocked.com/lchf-diet where you'll find more advice, and plenty of members share their LCHF meal plans on the Daily Diary, on this forum.
This site will take you all the way through it dietdoctor.com/low-carb You can get all the information you need, plus recipes, without paying
I know some people are very taken by keto. Personally I've got good results from low carbs ~50g/day, just not ketonic low (<20g/day) as I wanted a more sustainable diet I could keep going for months on end.
That means I can still enjoy the occasional crackers with cheese and other occasional carbs without things getting too strict.
"Keto" is simply an aggressive variant of Low-Carb High-Fat (LCHF). Most people only stick with it for a few weeks to kickstart the appropriate metabolic adaptations, and then let their carbs rise slowly to about 50-100g/day.
As others have said, your best bet at this point is to browse the LCHF group. There are loads of older posts giving advice, web links, etc and you can get support from people who have been there, done that.
Having said that many of the members there are in this group, too. Because LCHF works.
Exercise is something you can worry about later. At this point it'll probably do more harm than good. Get your diet sorted first, get rid of some flab, and you'll probably feel happier about going to the gym, or swimming, or running, or whatever you feel comfortable with.
Incidentally, I really suggest changing your name. You're not defined by either your appearance or your Asperger's (and in my semi-professional opinion, that diagnosis is thrown around far too readily). In any case, if you can stick to the LCHF plan for a few months, you won't be fat anymore
You stated that in your "semi professional opinion, that diagnosis ( Asperger's) is thrown about too readily..."
Just wanted to point out that an ASD assessment and diagnosis is not an easy process. Where I live, the waiting list was three years for a diagnosis and is now five. A psychologist, speech and language specialist and other professionals are involved. A full background history is taken and the ASD team assess both parent and child separately. They also observe the child in the school environment. You could maybe contact the autistic society for more information on assessment and diagnosis or look on their website for more information.
I'm familiar with the process, but simply making it complicated doesn't guarantee a useful outcome. My objections are these:
1) Asperger's is a very ill-defined condition, which is why they throw a barrelful of experts at it to see what sticks. If it had clear diagnostic criteria, no such complex process would be necessary.
2) There is now so much overlap between currently-fashionable childhood psychological 'diseases' that differential diagnosis is all but meaningless, and hinges on the opinions of the professionals involved.
3) I suspect (1) and (2) are the reasons Asperger's was removed from DSM-V and incorporated into ASD, but in my personal opinion that makes no sense at all. ASDs have a fairly clear-cut neurological basis, whereas Asperger's absolutely does not.
4) Labelling a kid as being "Asperger's" puts him or her in a box until he reaches an age where he attains the confidence to discard it. Since by definition an "Asperger's" kid may lack that faculty, he'll go through life thinking he has something wrong with him. In other words, applying the diagnosis does nothing to improve the patient's quality of life.
I have a bit of an interest in this because I'm 99% certain I would have been diagnosed as having Asperger's when I was little, had I been born 20 years later. I had to learn social skills the way other people learn to read and write (and I've no doubt my approach is a bit unorthodox for that reason!), a process that took about 20 years of focused effort. I had several of the characteristic issues such as clumsiness and an obsessive attention span (both of those disappeared by themselves). But I'm glad I was never put into that box and "treated".
I am curious, How are you familiar with the process?
I don't agree. My daughter's experience is different to yours and her diagnosis was later in life, as a teen, as it is for many adults on the spectrum. My friend's son however, was diagnosed with autism at a few months old. You don't grow out of being neuro divergent. You can't be "treated" as you mention, what treatment do you feel people on the spectrum receive? You seem quite aggressive in your feelings about people having a diagnosis which I am not entirely understanding? Is it not up to the individual and/or their family if they want a diagnosis? My daughter said she would like the assessment as she wanted to know. The primary questions (about 50 questions) gave her a scoring that allowed her to be put forward for a diagnosis.
My daughter's diagnosis gives her help in understanding and she is happy to know that there is a reason for her difficulties just like her friend who has Turner's syndrome is happy to know why she has hers.
Also, the idea of a label somehow thwarting an individual is interesting as you seem to see it as totally negative? whereas the label can help open many doors that were previously closed. Such as access to support services, extra time in exams etc etc etc
Maybe you could check out the books, Geeks, Freaks and Asperger's syndrome by Luke Jackson or Multi coloured Mayhem by Jacqui Jackson, Son and Mum.
I qualified as a psychologist. I never completed the 'apprenticeship' as a clinical psychologist partly because I was disillusioned by the medicalisation of ordinary human variance (and human experience). For every minor departure from normal, where "normal" is defined by a clique of people with an echo-chamber worldview: "we got a treatment for that".
>> You don't grow out of being neuro divergent.
I had to look up "neurodivergent". Apparently it's a neologism, coined after I graduated, and I don't like it (for the reason given above). If you mean you don't grow out of congenital neurological deficiencies ... well, sometimes you do and sometimes you don't. The brain has an astounding capacity to modify and repair itself, or to find workarounds for internal malfunctions, far exceeding that of any other organ (except possibly the liver). Of course it has its limits.
>> You can't be "treated" as you mention, what treatment do you feel people on the spectrum receive?
Well, this is what makes me laugh about the entire process (and a lot of medicine in general). The doctors do a battery of tests and finally tell you: aha, you have idiopathic crapulence (or whatever). Patient asks: so what do we do about that? Doctor replies: Dunno really. But you can try these pills if you want.
The fact that you can't treat something doesn't stop them from trying. Often the patient is referred to a psychiatrist to try some pills, especially if (for example) an Asperger's diagnosis is conflated with ADHD.
Anyway, I think you probably can "treat" Asperger's, with the proviso that I don't think it's an illness as such and therefore doesn't merit the word "treatment". I had to figure it out from the ground up, but perhaps if someone had mentored me through it I might have got there quicker. I realise I'm destroying my own argument there, but the fly in the ointment is that the NHS could never provide such a service, and it'd probably be a disaster if they tried. I'm thinking more along the lines of the social credit system that Japan uses, whereby young people are encouraged to drop in and chat with old people on the understanding that they'll get the same attention when they get older. In other words, I'm objecting to the medics co-opting this sort of syndrome into their domain. It doesn't belong there.
And just to be clear: I'm not saying the entire canon of psychiatric diagnosis and treatment is useless. ASD is a real thing. Asperger's specifically, I'm not so sure.
>> Is it not up to the individual and/or their family if they want a diagnosis?
Weeelll ... in theory yes. In practice people can get railroaded by Those Who Want What's Best For Us. Just look at the number of people "on statins" for absolutely no good reason (even if you believe that statins are a Good Thing, the NNT is 100-200 depending on how you define "successful treatment"). The only reason they're taking those pills is that the doctor has threatened them with an imminent heart attack of they don't comply.
>> My daughter's diagnosis gives her help in understanding and she is happy to know that there is a reason for her difficulties just like her friend who has Turner's syndrome is happy to know why she has hers.
OK, I get that. Although I don't think Turner's is a good comparison. The thing is this, though: isn't it enough to recognise that you have difficulties and that you need to expend some effort working around them? Does it matter whether your difficulties are labelled with a Greek word or the name of some long-dead psychiatrist?
>> Whereas the label can help open many doors that were previously closed. Such as access to support services, extra time in exams etc etc etc
Perhaps this is where we disagree. If (for the sake of argument) I had been labelled as Asperger's, I would have been absolutely mortified if I were given "extra time in exams" because of it. I object to "positive discrimination" for the same reason (I'm non-white, and I would hate to think anyone's ever given me a leg-up because of that). I will stand or fall on my own abilities, thanks very much, and I don't want anyone to pat me on the back and say there, there, it's not your fault. Whether it's my fault is irrelevant. It's my responsibility to deal with it; if that means I have to work a bit harder than everyone else, so be it. But perhaps that's just me being curmudgeonly.
You have made the first step well done . It takes guts to do that and admit to yourself you need to do something .
With the agoraphobia why not set yourself a programme up in steps . Have you got a garden ? Can you get out into it ? If not that could be your first goal . In your programme aim for the easiest tasks first . Keep a diary . Be methodical you can do this . Take back the control . We are so proud of you . This lock down must have been so difficult for you , baby steps and you will make small changes each one will be an an achievement.
Hi FatAutisticMan thanks for reaching out. Nothing has really worked for me other then LCHF there’s a great community on here for that. I’m only 5weeks in myself but have lost 11lbs and my hunger pangs and mood swings have gone! You must replace your carbs with fat essentially to keep you going and enjoy all that gorgeous cheese and cream again! Ditto what most people have said on here re: LCHF. Good luck.
I guess it depends what the foods are that you can eat as to how to progress as you will no doubt know, being on the spectrum can affect how you tolerate tastes and textures and even these can change? I have a daughter on the spectrum who was very conscious of her weight and finds stresses cause her to eat more, she also does not like to go out- specially in lockdown yet has lost weight as she can tell from her clothes. I think it is because the stress of college lessened and also, she started to eat more regularly in lockdown. She's just started online exercise as she wants to be more muscly she says. We have intolerances as a family as well as my daughter having certain foods being a no so, I try to plan healthy foods that include what she likes. She likes homemade chocolate chip cookies and I will give her a yogurt with one after a meal. She eats salad but not fresh tomatoes, so I try to make sure she has more of the things she does like such as cucumber. Protein is limited to certain products and texture is a biggy with that. Only quorn mince, not other types as the texture is not right. Some tinned chickpeas are a no others are ok, it is all about texture as you say. Only apples and oranges for fruit but, cherries and blueberries in yogurt. We sometimes experiment with new things by trying a tiny amount when we are already having a meal so that if she thinks it is horrible her palate can be cleaned by food she enjoys.
I hope this has helped a bit. Have a think about the foods that work for you and how these might be incorporated into a new plan that helps you to loose weight. Find an exercise plan that works for you too. There are so many online. We just bought an exercise step for my son as his feet are size 11, he can't do step ups on our steps- too narrow. He is also losing weight in lockdown and follows a training program. You are a young man and this is on your side as you will have the stamina ( 2 hours in the gym shows that) to keep going once you have a plan to follow. The guidance is changing diet and exercise for losing weight.
Good luck with it and let us know how you get along 🙂
I just want to say I think you have been given some really good advice by everyone and yes choose a kinder name for yourself.
You have been brave and taken the first steps towards doing something about your weight,good luck,take care xx
A really good place to start is going to Topics on this site and reading Diet Myths. It explains why exercise alone is not bringing you the weight loss you need and want.
@BridgeGirl has given you great advice and the administrators will help guide you round this site.
I know from experience of autism that changing how and what you eat can be difficult. You have probably been told/asked/nagged to eat a balanced diet but that may not be possible at the moment .
If you only able to eat a limited range of foods, make them your starting point. The diets most people follow here include a very wide range of fruit, vegetables, proteins , fats and carbs so picking a single diet may have too many foods you cannot eat.
Try writing a list of what and how much you eat and drink each day for week.
You may find one food or drink that stands out you can change or cut out. For example, fizzy drinks with sugar.
Start with one tiny change and see how that works.
I understand that you have selective preferences to food tastes and textures which can present lots of restrictions on a daily basis.
My husband was diagnosed as ASD in his 40’s and we have had a huge learning curve of how his responses to many things come down to him either having an over sensitivity or under sensitivity in different situations. We have tried Keto since early May this year and it has resulted in both weight loss and health benefits, but it can be challenging to sustain.. unless you can eat the same meals each day!!
I am adding a couple of links that you may find interesting (although both relate to young ones).
Whatever eating plan you choose that you can stick to has to be the right one for you... There are so many different plans, so take your time and do some research to find what suits the way you live...
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