I'm new to this and hoping you all could help, I'm 21, a single mother from London. The past 2-3 years, I've been struggling to lose weight, in total I've lost around 5 or 6 stones but I'm still not happy with my weight.
At the moment I weigh around 78kg hoping to get to 57kg but it is proving VERY difficult. I often try to eat healthier meals but ALWAYS ending up eating more because I constantly feel hungry. I have recognised that I also binge eat when feeling overwhelmed and upset which I've managed to control until today...
Today I binged and I feel absolutely disgusting with myself to the point I cannot even sleep.
I come to you guys as a cry for help. Ive tried eating healthy, exercising videos, starving, walking, sit ups, waist and thigh belts and NOTHING is sustainable for me.
Deep down I'm so upset, I do not have support or encouragement to keep going (instead everybody thinks I have body dysmorphia due to my previous emotionally abusive relationship) , I hate the way my body looks as it sags and I've struggled with toning and I'm ashamed I do not have my dream career, my own home or a car.
All of these things drown me daily and I honestly can't take it anymore, please help me
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Try to focus on one thing at a time. Weight loss is the easy part! There is a lot of nonsense written about "healthy eating", often by ill-informed folk who just make stuff up. Look at it this way: if you're "eating healthy" but you don't look or feel healthy, then then there's something fundamentally wrong with the advice, right?
Once you start eating genuinely healthy food, the flab will just drop away. Starving yourself doesn't work - in fact it normally results in your body holding onto bodyfat in an effort to keep you alive. This is doubly true for women. You need to be eating proper, filling meals ... but using foods that don't make you fat. Broadly, that means more good old-fashioned unprocessed ingredients like meat, vegetables, eggs, and dairy, and fewer things in packets and jars. Dump the stodge (bread, pasta, potatoes, porridge and the like) and put more of those other things on your plate instead. Stop when you're full, and not before. Never buy anything that says "low fat" on it - most people don't realise it, but those words mean "high in fattening ingredients".
Having said that, losing bodyfat is only half the battle. If you lose fat without building muscle, you end up looking a bit ... haggard. Muscle is what gives your body its shape, and unfortunately there's no shortcut to building muscle. If you can't get to a gym, or don't want to, do bodyweight exercises at home. The key point here is to aim for a little more than you did last time - one more rep, or a little more weight on the bar. If you've tried all this before, what do you think went wrong? Did you encounter a particular problem?
I'll also add that there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look good (especially when you're 21!). I am absolutely appalled by those people who suggest we ought to feel guilty for it. It is neither a crime nor an illness. Acceptance of obesity is not kindness or tolerance. It's dishonest and disrespectful, and plays right into the hands of people who want to continue selling us fattening rubbish and expensive pills.
You sound ambitious in a good and healthy way, so don't let others drag you down.
As for the other stuff: I'll repeat some sage advice that worked out well for me:
"You can have anything you want. You just can't have everything you want."
In other words, there are only so many hours in the day, and only so many days in a lifetime. So you need to decide upon those few things that you want most, and then focus on making them a reality. Do think carefully about WHY you want what you want. For example, what is it about owning a car (in London!) that will make you happier? One of the best things I ever did was getting rid of my car. I love not having one, for all sorts of reasons. You may have very good reasons for wanting one, but be honest with yourself about what those reasons are.
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Please read this as you have put a fair bit of personal information in your post (to keep you secure ) healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...
Theawlfultoad has given you some good advice - ditch the low fat stuff
Have a look on the daily diaries as to what others are eating and losing weight, make sure you do the NHS BMI calculator if you want to do the calorie counting route as this gives you your personal calorie allowance
Wishing you all the best and look forward to seeing you around the forum
You've had some great advice from others and I'd just like to say that it's very important to have maintenance breaks when losing weight, to reset your body. When you restrict your input so much, your body just gets used to surviving on less and less, to the point of 'eating' itself, hence the lack of muscle tone and flabbiness and bingeing is a normal reaction to starvation, which is what you've been subjecting yourself to.
Follow this link to our chat thread and a list of all the activities we run. We've found active participation to be key to success, especially with our weigh-ins and Daily Diary.
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