It starts off with getting on the scales to see that I've put on two pounds worth of baggage so I'll go ahead and have a 'day diet blow up' to feel better and cheer me and the excess baggage up.
Excess Baggage:
We've done crap today so let's just go for it girlbiscuits. What will it be my little Rich Tea? Let's start the "let's start it again tomorrow diet" anything you want my love.
Hmm right let's calculate this out. Just a Diet Coke - with a couple of Big Macs, small fries as you do and three flake flurry cos why have two when you can get six. What you've no more flake flurries mate?
No worries, girlbiscuits will prance over the South Circular and scoff some icecream snickers at the late night store for compensation for this two pounds she put on when she got on scales in the morning.
Maybe put some custard creams in the mix just in case she gets the late night peckish pecks. Then we'll all sit on the settee and add in the whole bag of 'sharing' chocky bars with no actual sharing going on.
Tired of standing at farmers markets and staring so hard at cakes till they all think I'm a cupcake nutter. Need some serious help here.