Hello :): Hi, newbie here! Myself and... - Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support

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Hello :)

MrsEardles profile image

Hi, newbie here! Myself and hubby are having to go down the fertility specialist route in order to get pregnant... I need to lose what feels like a ton of weight in order to actually get any help. My BMI is currently 40 (whoops!!) and I need to get it down to at least 30. I'm struggling to see the tunnel let alone the light at the end of it - it all seems so daunting. Just looking for some support and if anyone else is in this position. I'd love to have someone other than my husband to be accountable to. xox

20 Replies
IndigoBlue61 profile image

Hello MrsEardles and welcome to the Weight Loss Forum

Here are a few suggestions on how to get the most out of the forum. Please note if you are using the new HU App many of these features are not available so I suggest you use the full website version.

The first place to look is at the Pinned posts section to the right of your screen (bottom if you're using a mobile), read the Welcome Newbie thread first and move through to the challenges, where we hope you'll find at least one that will appeal to you

Move down to the Topics, to find a variety of threads, collated into specific topics for ease of access and we ask that you also 'file' your own threads, so that others won't miss your important news

Have a look at the NHS 12 week plan, as many people have had success with it. Also use the BMI checker to find your target calories, it's important to eat enough. This was a major turning point for me, realising I could eat anything I wanted as long as the calories are accounted for

Don't forget to take your starting measurements and a 'before' picture, as they can be very motivating on days that the scales refuse to co-operate

The forum also have group weigh-ins every day, as well as a new Daily Diary, if you wish to take part. The posts can always be found in the Events section on the 'home' page

You'll notice a grey box next to people's names, these are achievement badges, and as a new member you have a 'Newbie' badge. We've found that to get the best out of this community, we need to be active on the forum, as it's where we exchange information, get motivation and inspiration and make friends. We hope that you'll join us here, regularly, too. If you have any questions please just ask

Best wishes


Thanks IndigoBlue61 :) xox

IndigoBlue61 profile image
IndigoBlue61Maintainer in reply to MrsEardles

Have a good look around and ask if you have any questions 😊 The Daily Diary in particular is excellent for keeping us accountable 😊

Hi Mrs Eardles, I'm a newbie too! Just wanted to say good luck!!

Thanks hun!! And to you too! xox

Hi! I am also going to a fertility clinic to get pregnant again. I feel that I want to loose weight before becoming pregnant as well though I would be happy if it happened now. Thought I'd just introduce myself because it seems we are on parallel paths!

MrsEardles profile image
MrsEardles in reply to

Hi! It's our first we're trying for - I have PCOS so it's been rather difficult so far! I know they'll tell me to lose weight so if I get started first, then at least it's a step in the right direction! We'll have to keep each other motivated 💪 xox

Hi MrsEardles welcome to the forum, Well done on making a decision for change. Don't see this as a diet but a lifestyle change going forward that will help you reach your goal and then maintain it.

Then in time when you have your family - you will have great habits with good health to be a great role model to all your little growing ones.

Cheering you on 🎉🎉🎉

Thanks Minniewinny, it's so supportive here! xox

Minniewinny profile image
Minniewinny5 stone in reply to MrsEardles

It's so much more than you can imagine... Be active and involved and you will not endure.. but ENJOY your new friends and journey with all the support that is here.. 24/7!!

Hello and welcome :)

I feel your daunting feeling, I have 26kg (4 stone) to lose and it feels like such a mountain to climb, but I guess the best way to do it is slowly and steadily. You've got such a great reason to lose weight as well, the chance to have a baby! Hopefully that, and the lovely people on here, will help you feel closer to reaching your goal. We can do this! x

MrsEardles profile image
MrsEardles in reply to sazmy93

Hey sazmy93, it's so daunting isn't it, but I'm thinking that if we break it down into bite-sized goals then it'll seem less so ☺ we can do it!!! xox

sazmy93 profile image
sazmy93 in reply to MrsEardles

We can do it ounce by ounce :)

Hello MrsEardles and welcome to the forum.

My wife also suffers from PCOS, so I fully appreciate the struggles you face on a daily basis.

Through no fault of your own, while much may continue to conspire against you (I won’t go into detail, but I’m sure you know what I mean), there is still a lot you can do in order to reduce the symptoms associated with the condition, allowing for far greater regulation of hormones.

With such a seemingly debilitating and frustrating condition, I'm sure you're aware of how the consumption of sugar exacerbates symptoms.

That said, with consumption of the right foods and the correct type of exercise, it's certainly a condition that can be managed, allowing body fat to reduce.

When my wife chooses to apply herself, by eating correctly and exercising regularly (some of which includes HIIT), regular and sustained weight loss is enjoyed.

As already mentioned, with such a condition, reducing sugar in your diet to an eventual minimum remains paramount to improving chances of successfully managing the symptoms, since its reduction not only reduces the amount of insulin required, the reduced secretion of insulin also lowers production of androgens (testosterone).

Through reduced consumption of sugar and a more measured release of insulin, the body's sensitivity to the hormone begins to improve, allowing medication (such as Metformin) to work as it should; the regular inclusion of exercise also assists in improving insulin sensitivity, as it depletes glycogen (key to the long-term management of weight).

In order to allow the existing excess to be utilised as an energy source, a modest calorie deficit of up to 500Kcal needs to be maintained from TDEE or maximum allowance. If you haven't already done so, use the NHS BMI calculator to calculate energy requirements, based upon age, weight, height and level of activity.

Assuming you exercise regularly, daily allowance will no doubt be rather generous, allowing a daily 500Kcal deficit to be maintained.

Alternatively, if you'd like to calculate energy requirements using the formula that I use (Miflin St. Jeor method), let me know and I'll happily provide the equation (don't worry, it's not complicated).

On the subject of regular activity, a mixture of resistance and cardio exercise not only increases metabolism and muscle density (improving resting calorie expenditure), the combination of both ensures greater all-round fitness. However, it's important to participate in something that you enjoy.

For those able to perform HIIT, the activity has many positive effects, due to the physiological changes that it encourages within the body.

From a weight management perspective, it increases energy expenditure both during and afterwards by oxidising fat (research EPOC), while significantly increasing sensitivity to insulin (for up to 72 hours, depending upon its level of intensity). However, to allow for sufficient recovery, reducing the risk of burn-out, HIIT ought to be performed no more than 3 times a week.

Even if HIIT is currently beyond you, by ensuring that exercise is undertaken on 3-4 occasions throughout the week, at a level you can sustain, insulin sensitivity will still improve, in addition to expending calories.

On to nutrition.

When she chooses to apply herself, my wife does lose weight through consumption of foods that are high in fibre, protein and unsaturated fat.

As such, when considering carbohydrates, aim to avoid the consumption of cakes, sweets and pastries, in addition to white varieties of bread, pasta, rice and potatoes. Instead, seek to include quinoa, oats, lentils and beans (kidney/pinto,etc), while also opting for non-starchy vegetables, such as broccoli, kale, spinach, peppers, lettuce and cauliflower, alongside fruit, such as apples, grapes, cherries and plums.

It wouldn’t hurt to consult the Glycemic Index, to obtain a greater idea of the kind of foods that are low upon the GI scale, since a low GI diet is far more beneficial to your cause.

Those foods with a GI of 60 or above should only be enjoyed occasionally.

Although considered healthy by many, a baked potato measures in at 85 on the GI scale (food for thought).

Fat can and should still be eaten. Simply ensure that it’s obtained from fish, avocados, nuts and seeds, in addition to virgin olive oil, for example, while aiming to limit consumption of fatty/processed sources of meat.

Moderate consumption of dairy produce, such as milk, butter, yoghurt and cheese can still be enjoyed, too.

Although, it’s considered a MCT, coconut oil is still a saturated fat, so it ought to be consumed in moderation. However, it is fantastic for maintaining the health and condition of hair, skin and nails, so begin/continue to apply it.

As for protein, provided that it’s obtained from lean meat, fish, eggs and whey powder, it’s difficult to go wrong; just ensure that it constitutes 30-35% of total calorie intake, ensuring that existing muscle mass is maintained as weight is lost.

I may have provided you with much to consider, but don’t overwhelm yourself by attempting to change everything overnight.

In the initial interim, simply focus upon maintaining a daily calorie deficit, gradually reducing the amount of simple/refined carbohydrate consumed and ensuring that regular exercise continues to be undertaken. As you discover what works best for you, the rest will hopefully fall into place along the way.

MrsEardles profile image
MrsEardles in reply to MrNiceGuy

Wow you know your stuff!! Thank you for all the advice, may need to read it a couple more times to appreciate it all! Thank you!!xox

Concerned profile image
ConcernedAmbassador in reply to MrNiceGuy

Good summary MrNiceGuy.

About 10-15% protein is usually sufficient, as too much is also turned to glucose.

The amount of carbohydrate affects insulin and blood glucose more than Gi. 400 to 600 kcal per day is enough to replenish glycogen for most.

You're welcome. Like I said, take your time to read over it.

Don't feel as though you need to completely overhaul your diet in one fell swoop, since it's likely to leave you feeling overwhelmed.

Simply concentrate upon reducing consumption of foods that you know ought not to be consumed in excess, while gradually introducing more complex/fibrous carbohydrate, in addition to ensuring that exercise is undertaken frequently throughout the week.

I'm not sure whether you suffer from such an issue, but when my wife reduces consumption of refined carbohydrates and exercises regularly, the frequency of her cycles improve considerably.

NannyEJ profile image
NannyEJHealthy BMI

Welcome MrsEardles and good luck with your journey. You certainly have the best motivation to be successful and so I am sure you will be. Keep checking into this site for support and motivation, there are lots of caring informed people here, as MrNiceGuy has shown. If your husband needs to lose weight and get fit too then you can support each other. It shouldn't be about 'accountability', it should be about working together to achieve a shared goal, and this may make it easier to lose the weight and get fit.

Good luck and best wishes EJ xx


I was in your shoes 11 years ago,i weighed about 15 stone,got pcos,i had treatment for about 3 years,tests,scans,meds,and injections,it was hard ,cos of side effects,dr wanted me to have a break,cos it was too much,then was going down ivf next,but fell pregnant ,i know it has changed since then,but you can keep in touch with me,as i know what you are going through,

good luck,stay strong

Concerned profile image

I get the impression that you give yourself a hard enough time already, without being accountable to anyone else.

Start to enjoy your food again, and lower your insulin levels phcuk.org/booklets

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