Hi, I haven't reached out for a few years but my circumstances are overwhelming me. I need to lose weight , I am obese and I am full of excuses for why I cannot diet.1, My Grandchildren
2,My Fibromyalgia flares when I exercise.
3,I hate salad
4, This is the biggest one atm,
I am caring for my blind dad and my mum who can't even stand now and we have 4 carers a day to help her to the toilet and bed.
My mindset is to reward myself at the end of the day and though I so want to be better I don't feel worth the effort.
I have lost the weight before and then my husband left me after 30 years together.
Sorry for the outpouring of my life but having a bad day. Would love some forward motivation help please.
Written by
CautiousK
Restart Jan 2025
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Hi CautiousK and welcome back. You certainly have a lot on your plate at the moment which i know will make this very difficult for you. You sound like you are a strong person though and i'm sure with the support and friendship you'll find here, you'll soon be able to work on losing weight.
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Hi CautiousK, It takes courage to open up about all you’re juggling, and it’s clear that you’re doing so much for everyone around you. No wonder things feel overwhelming at times! Please don’t apologize for sharing—it’s okay to have bad days and to ask for help.
I hear you when you say you don’t feel worth the effort right now. Please know that you are. You’ve been through so much, and it’s okay to take steps to care for yourself, too. It doesn’t mean you’re taking away from others, it actually means you’ll have more energy and resilience to keep doing all the incredible things you do for your family.
About hating salad… veggies can be added to your diet in many other ways - roasted or in soups…
Good luck and see you on the Daily Diary. Do ask for help there if you want small healthy tweaks to meals you enjoy.
Totally understandable . If carers come please reach out to them and ask if they know any outlets for you as reading this you need a bit of respite . I could be wrong but are you a bit trapped in the house looking after all .
Small steps like cutting out anything you have with a drink - snacking is tempting - I know . Difficult but evening time is wind down. I started by making an instant drink - the ones you mix with hot water that are crazy hot so you have to sip them so a soup or a low cal hot choc which is quite comforting but can’t be downed so swiftly you go for another . Hobby like jigsaw , maybe surveys you earn cash from to distract you ?It is draining being a carer on your own . I would explore an avenue for yourself to have even an hour to walk outside on your own . Maybe join a library ? It seems it’s more than the food intake at the moment .
Thank you for your reply. I do try to read a lot though as you say it's with a cuppa and snacks.I have lived long enough to know better but it's going to be a journey.
I don't want to end up like my mum,so dependant. That's my motivation now.
CautiousK, you are one of those amazing unsung heroes, carers, and you absolutely do deserve to be happy with yourself.
You've also been dealing with the changes created when your husband left.
When you have so much to deal with it's easy to shy away from making more big changes, but honestly, the biggest change doesn't involve salad or exercise, it's about how you view yourself, and you have already made the first step to turning that around by coming on here. You've shown yourself that you are worth it!
Other members above have given good advice and I won't repeat that, but just know that there are exercises that are fibromyalgia friendly, and you don't have to force yourself into a relationship with salad. Whatever plan you decide on, you need to be happy with following it in the longer term, and it must do you no harm. The good news is, there are loads of ways members here approach their journey, so I have every confidence you will find something that will suit you.
Hi there, I know that what ever has gone on in my life, I cannot lose weight until I have the right mindset and if this is not the 'right ' time, do not worry, as the right time will come. You have a lot of commitments and stuff to process and please do not beat yourself up. The forums can help as reaching out is always a good step to take and you will find many listening ears.
Please know that you are not defined by the 'things that happen to you' and I found that thinking about who I am (deep within) has helped me. I am also a daughter, mother, grandmother who was discarded after over 30 years and I am slowly but very surely working it out as well as running a full time job and 3 part time jobs: none of which define me. (Being a mother and grandmother do define me to some extent, as I have allowed these roles to, as they bring me such joy!)
Do not worry about your weight except to try not to put on any more before you are ready to lose. Time will help, I promise you! Be well and be kind to yourself !!
I am slowly but surely putting my life together, still processing what has happened to me. I have been surrounded and supported emotionally by friends and family in a nurturing way and I have worked on seeing the best in every situation.
Being grateful for the little things and not defining yourself by 'what you do' as in career or who you are attached to 'as in relationship'. I have spent a great deal of time thinking about what I believe in and who I want to be and what I want to aspire to: being more kind, thinking about others, having healthy boundaries, having healthy sense of self worth etc and working towards those.
Take time for yourself, however long it takes and hopefully you will feel more capable of 'getting the doctors off your back'. Be well and nurture yourself! It doesn't have to take away from your caring for others, and may help you care without feeling washed out.
Welcome to this supportive and friendly forum. You sound to me as though you are getting close to breaking point which is not a good place to be. I learnt from my own experience 10 years ago- caring for my late mum, who was also blind and unable to do anything for herself after a couple of strokes -that if you don’t look after yourself you cannot possibly give the best care to others. I really urge you to get in touch with social services and get someone to visit you and have a really frank conversation with them. Its difficult I know, to open up to strangers, and you also have to contend with your feelings of guilt as a carer and a daughter, that whatever you do it never feels like enough. I would also suggest when you visit your gp tell them how you feel -you may be in a category where you can get help with weightloss. Take it. Whatever it is. If you have friends, be a friend to them, listen to them, if you go out you don’t have to talk about your woes and feel you’re burdening them, just have normal conversations -I know its not easy but it can be done with practise.
For weightloss join in on here, lots of food ideas on daily diary ( yes lots of us eat salad!) but it really is just about eating a bit less of the bad stuff and a bit more of the good stuff.
Please take care of yourself and ask for some help.
Hi Frenchfields,I think this amount of support is wonderful and scary at the same time as my fear of failure escalates.
I do have mental health issues and know how stretched this part of the NHS is, so I feel wretched asking for help. I have had a few meltdowns in the Dr's reception when trying to get help for my mums pain.
My mum is an independent, strong willed control mad lady!
She has lost the ability to think about the people around her and how her predicament affects us.
Sorry to ramble I am coping but I see the slippery slope and the rut I am in.
I have followed this forum for some years and felt the need yesterday to jump in.
I appreciate your reply greatly and hope you are in a good place x
No I am not I was 66kg last April, I went into hospital and as a side effect of some medications I gained weight.I'm now 71.3 kg I want to get back down to 66 kg.
Please DO NOT be ashamed of yourself because things can derail you, it's easy for the models because they have personal trainers and they spend their whole life just around what they eat and the exercise we have other things to contend with
I'm looking for someone to share my weight loss journey with perhaps you can share yours with me too have you downloaded the nutraapp, you can do a food diary and plus put your weight in your measurements in.
Do you have a gym you can join even if you only lose it a couple times a week I'm lucky because in where I live we've got free gym over the weekend, depending on spaces.
Park walks are good.
You probably gained weight because you stopped whatever you were doing beforehand so it's a question of recapping on what were you doing beforehand when you lost the weight.
Hi Bluelady-sing,Your goals are very relatable and you are really achieving things with your workout, it sounds like you know exactly what your aims are and you are very capable of achieving them.
My goals I think are to not be a burden to my children as I get older. I need to take control of my body.
I don't want my children in my position because I neglect my health.
I have Fibromyalgia, Addisons and damage to my spine amongst other things but I fiercely love my children and grandchildren and want to be there for them as I get older.
I want to wear tops that don't ride up and pants that don't roll down.
you have to decide that you deserve to be healthy.....I weighed 312 pounds at one point in my life and didn't honestly care what happened....in 2017 I had weight loss surgery and was able to maintain 65 pounds of weight loss....about 8 months ago...I started the GL1 shots(zepbound) and have created another 65 pounds of weight loss....yu can do it.....it's worth it.....also would like to suggest that you eat smaller meals more often....that is what has helped me maintain where I'm at.....always here if you need to talk
Thank you mizzou,I am having smaller meals more often and I have good knowledge of what to eat and my meals are healthy. My problem is my insatiable appetite and my comfort eating.
I have achieved 6 days without chocolate, biscuits and crisps!
Thank you for your reply and it sounds like you have been through a real journey but are better for it x
I still struggle with eating my feelings.....that is my biggest kryptonite....I have fought a lot of food battles....I've won some....I've lost some.....the trick is to keep fighting....
Tapentadol and a migraine tablet that begins with P!
Plus my HRT patches which they only just suggested as I haven't taken HRT before but I had an early Menopause at 40 and the Dr's have realised that my constant cystitis isn't cystitis but lack of oestrogen!
Hi Bluelady-sing,My urine tests were constantly no action required and it was really affecting my life as you know, the symptoms are horrible. I felt like I had been neglected for so many years but the relief when the Dr suggested this is immense. It is now under control with the patches.
Worth mentioning if you are having no joy as I was drinking Cranberry juice, Barley water, cool baths and flannels, no soap products, cotton underwear etc and nothing helped.
Let's think some more about what tends to get us with our weight loss Programme. with me I come in hungry whilst the dinner cooking as sometimes eat biscuits when I look half the is done!.
Sharing recipes trying to find healthy recipes that are tasty, I do lentil carrot and orange soup and that is brilliant.
Tell me the question of your mobility How mobile are you?
You mentioned that you like to have a boogie
Could you get a exercise DVD maybe follow that.
I try and do two sets of 10 minutes exercises either that or I try to use my dvd.
Hiya,I have some bulging discs and arthritis in my spine and have Fibromyalgia. I am starting off slow with some old physio exercises and smallish hand weights. I can annoy my Fibro so easily.
I have a stepper which is ace and I intend to use again but it is folded up atm as I recently had a team of men doing indoor insulation in the house and everywhere is upside down.
I am having a bad week and my energy is so low as caring for mum and dad is stressful. I am constantly at the beck and call of physio/drs/care agencies/Social teams.
My mum is at the stage where she has to pay for her care now, a team of 2 four times a day.
The new team started yesterday and there has been no financial assessment as promised yet so we have no idea of cost and it's all on my shoulders.
I haven't been good today at all, reverted back to my comfort food tonight.
I will start again tomorrow but disappointed in myself.
Hi Bluelady-sing,Apparently the forms got there on Monday as I sent them by registered post but the lady they were going to said she hasn't physically received them yet as they each have to be scanned and sent to her.
It's stressing my mum and dad as they are receiving care that they don't know how much they are paying for.
The system is broken but mum cannot stand and dad is blind so they have no choices.
I always have something to moan about 😂. I managed a lovely park walk with my best friend yesterday and I think we wore ourselves out moaning x
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xx
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