As the title says really. I've got 3 young children and work full time in a highly pressurised & stressful job.
Over the last few years I've steadily gained weight and it's purely down to my lifestyle. I'm completely unorganised and end up visiting the vending machine at work, grab pre packed sandwiches and crisps through the day & tell myself I've had a hard day so sink a few glasses of wine most nights (once the kids are in bed), make excuses not to go the the gym. Too tired, catching up with housework, need to go shopping etc etc, the list goes on.
I'm currently at my heaviest and feel utterly miserable. I'm currently in a clothes size 16 & they're starting to get tight!
I just can't seem to motivate myself enough to stick to a healthy diet and exercise. I've joined slimming world 3 times in the last 18 months & just can't get my head into it!
I'm a complete food junkie and my knees and back are starting to suffer. I'm always tired and lethargic, my body aches constantly!
I owe it to my children to be fit and healthy and set a good example to them. I just can't seem to want it enough to change.
I've downloaded the 12 week plan, but the thought of it just doesn't excite me.
Sorry for the essay, I was hoping you could share your tips for motivation and success.
Thanks
Written by
Sasparilla
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Hi Sassperilla I'm new here to & the group forum members are 1st class. Administrator will be in touch with you soon I'm sure. Excellent support. Good luck with your journey. George 56 ☺
Take a look at the Pinned posts section to the right of your screen (bottom if you're using a mobile), read the Welcome Newbie thread, then move through to the challenges, where we hope you'll find at least one that will appeal to you.
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Take a look at the 12 week plan, as a lot of people have been successful with it, making sure to enter your details into the BMI calculator, to get a calorie allowance tailored to your personal requirements. Don't forget to take your starting measurements and a 'before' picture, as they can be very motivating on days that the scales refuse to co-operate.
We run daily weigh-in's and you'd be very welcome to join us. The threads can always be found in the Events section, to the right of the home page, bottom on a mobile.
We've found that to get the best out of this community, we need to be active on the forum, as it's where we exchange information, get motivation and inspiration and make friends. We hope that you'll join us here, regularly, too.
It's only left for me to wish you well on your journey
I'm early in my journey so I may not be the best person but I'll give you some tips I've picked up on already
But I must stress, I think the biggest thing is mentality, get your head in the right space. Some of these tips might help...
Ps sorry for the essay
1. Doing something is better than nothing. I've been to the gym twice this week and only for 15/20mins. Just tell yourself you can always find 10/15mins in the day somewhere dont worry about 2 hour gym sessions of whatever
2. If you cant get to the gym find someone you can do at home, I just got a skipping rope, do 10 mins skipping at home! I bet you can find 10mins in the day
3. If you're doing short workouts, try HIIT (high intensity interval training) as I said im just starting out and I'm only managing 15 seconds intense (give it all you got) then 45 second rest (dont stop but just do it at a comfortable rate) for like 7mins at a time (aiming for 15mins). There is a good app which times it out with your music playlist on android phones called hiit music by jamonsoft and there is a free version (if you're on apple there will be similar apps)
4. Small changes in your diet help. I switched pop for no added sugar flavoured water.
5. Calories in vs out. If you're in calorie deficit (even by just 100/200 calories) you will loose weight even if its a bit at a time (better than gaining right?)
Try calculating your Total Daily Energy Expenditure on a website such as tdeecalculator.net to see how many calories your body needs (rda is a bit useless in my opinion because every body is different, I was shocked to find that with my height and weight my TDEE was 2700 calories! I had been gaining because I was eating 3000 calories a day)
6. There are some good apps to meassure your calorie, macronutrients (fat/protein/carb) intake such as the Nutracheck app, I literally just scan the barcodes of the foods I'm having. I was shocked when I first started that my main meals totalled 1200 calories and my snacks (mostly pop tarts) totalled 1800???
7. Be kind to yourself, it's ok to have an off day, just get yourself back on the horse as it were
8. Nutrition in the kitchen, fitness in the gym. Kind of. Food will help with weight way more than exercise, but exercise will improve your wellbeing, happiness and your Basal Metabolic Rate (aka how many calories your body uses just exsisiting) and exercising excessivley does not burn off calories as easily as it is to cut food intake.
9. Mental state, you are in charge, you choose to exercise or not, to eat less or eat more, trying telling yourself that it is your choice. To qoute yoda of star wars "do or do not, there is no try"
10. Rome wasnt built in a day, if your going in the right direction even slowly thats better than going in the opposite direction. I was once asked by a friend why I didn't learn german as I said I'd love to learn the language and I said it would take too long, his asked me how long it would take me to learn, I said "3-5 years probably"... his (brilliant) response? "And how long will it take you to learn it if you start learning in 5 years time?"
11. Watch inspirational youtube vlogs, I'm a fan of obesetobeast and fattofire
12. Avoid "analysis paralysis" (ironic given the number of points I've given you) sometimes the best thing to do is 'something', ANYTHING, even if you don't know everything you should do or can do, you can spend ages over thinking it, making detailed plans, finding it daunting and then never getting started
Sasparilla you are in the right place for support. We all need it and we get shed loads full here. But, and it is an important but, you have got to want to do this, you clearly do because of what you have written and you have joined us. Sadly there is no magic potion. Decide to change just one thing. Could you keep away from the vending machines?
I know you feel like you deserve a couple of glasses of wine but could you tell yourself that you deserve not to have them? It would certainly be better for you. Buy a bottle of really nice sparkling water, a lemon and a lime. Sit down with your sparkling water in a nice glass with a slice of lemon and lime and treasure each sip. Tell yourself how good it feels to be celebrating the start of your road to better health.
Keep coming on the forum and joining in the discussions. You do truly get lots of advice and guidance but only you can decide what to do with it.
Make your weight loss journey an adventure and enjoy it.
Hi and welcome Sasparilla. Reading your post, your motivation to do this seems to be your children and that is great (I have two myself and love to think that my new body may mean we get to spend more years together), but I think you might also benefit from thinking a bit about what weight loss will do for you. Find your intrinsic motivation to eat healthy and look after that body of yours.
I found my motivation in becoming a better runner. It still drives me! Running is my passion but being overweight didn't make it easy. So what is your overweight keeping you from doing or feeling? What would it mean to you To be slim and fit?
And one more tip: make small changes and be patient! It is for life anyway, so no need to rush❤️
Welcome Sasparilla , well they have covered nearly everything in the messages above. It can be overwhelming when you first start out. The only thing I would add is to try and plan a menu for the week and when you go shopping only buy what you need and make sure you have healthy snacks. I appreciate it isn't easy when you work full time and have 3 children, but if you can cook from scratch, good fresh food and plenty of veg will help you feel less tired and lethargic. Can you build in some exercise that's fun for you and the children to do together? Keep posting if you have questions. Good luck
I'm in the same situation. I have a 5 year old and constantly making excuses. I'm an admin so sat behind a desk all day and never any time for the gym etc etc. My 2 main promises to myself this year was to be more selfish and to lose weight. I hit 15 stone and wanted to cry.
Iv done just that. I take time out for myself, replacing wine with baths, wine at the weekend only. I also go to the gym twice a week an hour each time. It was a chore to start with but now I love it, I give myself targets each time I go to make it more interesting.
My 5 year old also helps with things like the washing, helping to tidy, we put music on and make it a game for her and core exercise for me.
At work I do the tea round, so up and down the stairs, but water for me.
Little things will help, do something small but make it fun. The only person who can change it is you.
Oh and preprepare meals, that's my life saver, I make chicken salads at night for work the next day.
i was like you on Dec last year... i have 3 kids and work full time and always made excuses... i was diagnosed with high blood pressure and put on tablets... this was a massive wake up call and made me start to think about 'ME' for a change rather than always putting myself last and making sure everyone was ok.
i started by joining a lovely gym and it was mainly to get some 'me' time and a place just for me to go to on my own where i could go in the jacuzzi, steam room etc. then i started swimming more ... then i went into the gym ... then i got a personal trainer. i really enjoy going to the gym now and this has also helped my stress levels too.. My suggestion is try to find something you like doing to start to make you feel better about yourself initially.
Once i had started to enjoy the gym i then started to look at my diet and started to cut back on refined carbs.. white bread/white pasta etc and started to eat more good fats. i have lost 1.5 stone in 3 months and feel so much better about myself and have loads more weight.
In jan i did the 'dry january' challenge and that got me out of the habit of rewarding myself with a glass of wine after a long day...
in the past ive tried to do everything all at the same time and i failed miserably as it was all too much to handle as im a 'all or nowt' kinda girl and just gave in... but doing it this way i seem to be sticking to it.
i say.. Take things slowly and make small changes and make time for you.. its hard but your family will appreciate it in the long run as they will have a happier mum too !
Thank you all for the lovely comments & support. I've battled with my weight my entire adult life. For me it's 90% physclogical. Once my minds right then the rest will follow. Im mid 30's now and want to be fit at 40. I know I've got a long way to go but going to give the 12 week challenge my best shot! Thanks all x
Hi, I was like you with triplets at work and gaining steadily each year until I was in size 18 (so worse than you). Didn't have the energy to do anything properly about it, tried a couple of starvation diets and regained it all when I stopped. For me it took retirement before I started and even then I first just lost 10kg and put nearly half of it on again. 3 years on, and I am now determined to do something about my excess weight - my triplets are 27 now and maybe one day I'll have a wedding to attend. But more importantly, I want to enjoy my retirement and not let my weight get in the way. So, don't waste as many years as I did, before you take that step, please.
I always have that worry in the back of my mind. I don't want to reach 60 and wish I could look back feeling happy about my size/weight instead of a lifetime of trying to get out of social events and hiding from the camera!
Thank you for sharing your experience & good luck with your journey x
Rest assured, even though I was overweight, I did go to social events - but I would have felt a lot more confident had I been quicker in stopping the weight piling on. Hope you do, too. And Good luck with the weight loss. There is another saying that springs to mind, but not sure whether I am allowed to quote it in full on this forum. The original goes "you are only as old...", and I'd like to adapt it to "you are only as fat, as the man you...".
You've received great advice here! Only tips I can think of adding, because they work for me so far (2 stone lost after three and a half months)
1) Try to find a low calorie food you like, if possible? Not always easy, but I really like Brussel sprouts and can happily fill half my plate with them. I also really like mustard so am happy to mix that with low fat yoghurt to make a sauce.
2) Maybe get the kids involved in your efforts, to offer you support? My 5 year old son told me in no uncertain terms that I was too fat. He was right, but now he sees the improvement and really enjoys doing sport with me. Like you, I want to be an example to my children. My son has no weight problems now, but the example of the parents must be important.
3) Be ruthless about killing the alcohol if, like me, one glass tends to turn into 2 or 3. The calorie content of alcohol is frightful, there's no getting around it. Limit yourself to two glasses maximum per week.
4) Try to find exercise you like. I'm lucky that I love running. But let's face it, it's repetitive, I fully understand why many people don't like it.
5) Try to look ahead to embracing a lifestyle change, not just shifting excess weight now. I deliberately eat the same sort of stuff, just less of it. That way, when the excess weight has gone, my diet will not change and I will be able to eat and drink a little more. And I am planning running events later in the year, and the time I want to achieve in these events, after my weight loss ends in April.
Agree with all the above, and I think it's fine to take small steps. I know I'm not the kind of organised person who will make food the night before and Tupperware it up, so I tend to bring in microwave pouches of quinoa and rice to have - stuff that I don't have to think about in the morning to shove in my bag, but don't mean I'm picking up a cheese sandwich/crisps/snickers bar/can of coke for lunch. No it's still not as healthy as a cooked from scratch somethingorother but it's better than it was. Maybe one day I'll get the hang of cooking!
Wine is definitely my downfall, so I've just stopped drinking from Sunday to Thursday. It had become such a habit that I thought I'd never manage without it, but I really don't notice it - and this is only week 3 for me.
There are various YouTube exercise things - walking/step aerobics/Zumba etc which range from 15mins to an hour plus. They're pretty easy to fit into an evening. Plus the weather is about to turn (she says hopefully) so you'll find it easier to go for walks at the weekend, or play outside with your kids in the sun.
My advice would be - don't expect to be some epic food guru and 20mile jogger overnight. Just work out five or so little changes you could do - better lunches, drink more water, YouTube exercise twice a week, do some lunges while waiting for kettle to boil etc and start with those. The try and change another five. Every little thing you do is better than it was before and that's a success.
I think that's my problem, instead of looking at the long term, I'm so desperate to shift weight quick I make unsustainable changes that are too big to cope with and end up failing miserably. Very good advice, thank you x
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Failing at weightloss
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Fed up with being fat ☹ 
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