Feeling low!

[Jessie92]

So after nearly 18 months on this weight loss journey and 6 stone lighter I still cant help but dislike my body, i know it must be a girl thing. I mean I know that my old clothes are 4 sizes to big but I cant help but feel the same. I really want to lose another stone to make me feel better, but im not sure anything can help my self esteem! Is it normal to feel like this or am i worrying about nothing! i have attached a before and after pic! feeling deflated!!

[Zest Healthy BMI]

Hi Jessie92,

I like both your photos, the before and after, and I think you look beautiful in both of them. I would like to Congratulate you on your amazing weight loss - it's such an achievement to have lost 6 stones, and that you've changed so many dress sizes.

I think you have highlighted the fact that self-esteem is so much more complicated than being dependent on our physical appearance and/or weight - we can be heavier or lighter and still feel the same. It doesn't necessarily make us feel any better in ourselves.

I'm so sorry to hear that you feel as if you dislike your body. I think it's quite rare for anyone to feel completely comfortable with his/her body - even Super models who are applauded for their stunning beauty are often upset about some part of their appearance, or feel that their self-esteem needs boosting by constant praise. Yet if they receive just one criticism, that will somehow cloud out a multitude of praise. That's what self-esteem can be like, very fragile, and easily upset.

I think it's great that you've posted your photos, so that hopefully you will see that people think you look lovely regardless of your actual weight. I wouldn't offer you a compliment unless I meant it, as I think it's important to give honest feedback.

I hope you'll learn to love your new body size - it can take some time to adjust to being lighter too - I still perceive myself as bigger than I actually am, and sometimes I've been surprised to see my reflection in a mirror, and think - wow, is that me - she looks like a slim person! I really think it takes time to adjust, and maybe you'll feel more comfortable as time goes on.

You've done so well on your weight loss journey. I hope you can celebrate that in time and feel better in yourself.

Wishing you the best,

Lowcal

[Fran182716]

Jessie, you look absolutely gorgeous, I don't know what your BMI is but in the 2nd pic you really don't look like you need to lose anymore weight. I think maybe your mind hasn't quite kept up with your body, and maybe your focus now should be on great nutrition to maintain rather than losing more ☀️

[Diana in reply to Fran182716]

My thoughts too, and you look beautiful, enjoy bring at this stage of your life xx

[Prin]

This should be such an inspirational post, you don't really need to lose another stone you look FANTASTIC celebrate your sucess, I would have suggested a personal shop if you wanted help adjusting youe style, but that dress is so pretty, the fabric is lovely and it suits you down to the ground, you need to find out what is making you so unhappy it's not that fab figure for sure!

[Jessie92]

Aww thank you everyone, sometimes all you need are comforting words to help you!

[libbydaniels88]

Hi jessie92 - have to agree with the other posters - you look really lovely, way more slim than your before photo. To look at me now, you'd probably say " what does SHE know!" but back in 2004/5 I lost 6 stone like you, and I know SO well the feeling you are getting now. Ill bet most of your friends who knew you heavier are saying the same " you dont need to lose any more" but YOU dont see what they see. Looking at pics of me when I was down to 9 stone, Now I see what they saw, and eventually you will. Its just like Fran said, your mind needs to catch up with your body. Also, like Jessie says, even supermodels hate themselves, we none of us see what others see. But do try and feel happy and proud of what you've achieved - you've done brilliantly ! Give yourself a hug, and work on , if not loving yourself , then at least believing in yourself and how far you've come

Hugs girl !

[maxine66]

Wow well done you and you look absolutely amazing. I don't know why you should feel so low? Maybe you should see your GP and tell them how you feel. but honestly you should feel very proud of yourself xx

[Hidden]

OMG you're feeling deflated!! You certainly are, like a balloon you have deflated by six stone. What a fantastic achievement and you look brilliant. Some of the other posts give good advice but I just wanted to chip in my little bit too. Don't go to far though as you look perfect just the way you are

[Alipop]

You look great. Congratulations on such an achievement.

I know you say you don't feel good, but you are an inspiration.

[moreless Administrator 7 stone]

Hi Jessie,

You are an extremely attractive woman, before or after, but I know it won't make one iota of difference how many people tell you that, the person that has to affirm that fact is you.

I don't remember a time that I haven't disliked myself, regardless of what other people have said, or what weight I've been. I now look back on my life and think, what a waste! How can I have been so foolish and so dismissive of other people's opinions.

Our physical appearance is only a tiny part of our lives, but we allow it to affect and destroy every other part. It's time to put that part of our lives at the bottom of the pile and concentrate on the more important aspects.

Give yourself credit for the hard work you've put in to achieve that amazing weightloss and then put it all behind you. Time now to focus that energy and determination elsewhere and start enjoying life.

Wishing you all happiness

[Hidden]

You have done so well

[Hidden]

I agree with the others above, you look lovely in both pics. You must know this too, as both the photos are very flattering, showing your body off in smart clothes, looking happy and bright. But it's important to remember that happiness is down to so much more than how you look to others. I can totally understand the weird anti climax of losing weight and then wondering - am I happy with myself now? I only lost 2 stone, but this has been a major difference for me. When I feel unsure about the position I'm in now I go back to my early posts on here, and the larger clothes I still have lying around, these all make it feel more real that I've actually done this. I think Fran has it when she says your mind hasn't kept up with your body. Keep looking in the mirror, trying different outfits, keep using and enjoying your body and try to just feel alive and in the world. It's amazing to be alive, healthy, and from the looks of you, young too

[Hidden]

Agree with all the comments above! As I've got older, when I look back at photos of myself, I almost always think I looked great (and would like to look like that again) - but at the time I thought I was frumpy / fattish / unattractive. I've had a few years to reflect on the fact that I didn't appreciate looking young and gorgeous when I was young and gorgeous! Worse than that I wasted time thinking I was in some way "sub-standard" - and therefore didn't bother very much with clothes / hair etc. I also now know that some of this is pretty common thinking for females unfortunately ....

Many of us are guilty of this kind of stuff - so don't give yourself a hard time. But do enjoy looking lovely in the mirror this morning for a moment!

Congratulations on what you've achieved - you clearly are a force to be reckoned with - 6 stones in 18 months does not happen without a great deal of determination. That makes me wonder what your next life goal is - perhaps you are feeling the lack of focus which you have had for 18 months and now need something else new to give your "all"?

(I'm not saying put the 6 stones back on by the way!).