Stress, hives, and a crash on the way

[Hellonwheels]

My husband is going through a lot of stress in his job, and has been for several months. It recently was made worse when he was passed over for a promotion, as well as his company cutting several bonus programs for anyone of his status and lower. It's comforting that he is certainly not the only one in this position within his company, but it's made him quite angry, nonetheless; and well, we all probably know the old adage, people lash out at those they love the most...

I feel a fight coming. I don't mean a little tiff, either. I mean the kind that end in highly negative comments such as those hinting at getting a divorce. It's like an elephant in the room. I love my husband very much, and I have seen these kind of 'tantrums' from him before... they start out simple, like in the last couple of weeks---his behavior toward simple things. For instance, 3 days ago, he had a fit because I forgot to turn off a light when I left the room. Yesterday it was "why don't you get a job and pay for that." Today it was "Holy $h*t! Why did you spend so much on groceries last month?!" These kind of comments repeatedly are always the lead up to those kind of fights I am referring to.

I have now broken out on face and neck, and it looks like beginning on the chest with itchy hives. I'm becoming quite angst at the notion of him coming home this evening. It's turning me into the lazy person he is acting like I am. I now want to lash out. This is not good. If I don't stop this insanity I will crash... BAD. It's happened before. My stress response is horrible when it's his incessant verbal beat-down.

My meds are not off at all. I was fine until he started this 'game' in the last week or so. I am hypothyroid and on 120-150 Armour. Last TSH 4 months ago was .01 (.45-4.5), FT4 18.5 (12-22) and FT3 5.9 (4.2-6.9) and I have literally felt like my old self for roughly 8 months. My next appointment is next week, and I anticipate no blood work. I'm not really asking for med suggestions or advice with regard to meds---I am fine everywhere, physically. I'm asking for help with a strategy for dealing with this type of stress, or if there are any adaptogens that others have found that help with stress response... Thanks!

[Clutter]

Hellonwheels,

It sounds like your husband needs counselling to manage his disappointment and anger rather than turn them on you. It's not right that you are having hives and stress reactions because you are worried about your husband lashing out at you. If he is concerned about finances he should discuss them civilly with you and you can work out together what domestic economies may be needed to manage your household budget now there is no bonus forthcoming.

[Hellonwheels in reply to Clutter]

The funny/sad thing is, money isn't the issue. Never has been. It's almost like he's jealous of my "simple" little life, which, by the way, is actually quite busy. I do everything in our home, as well as taking care of a 6 1/2 acre property 120 miles away. Not to mention the reclaiming old furniture I do for side income. I think he lashes out because I'm my own boss. I agree that he needs a counselor. He went for a while, but then got tired of going. As far as budgeting? LOL. I am as frugal as they come. He is not factoring a few things in, as he is off-kilter and not thinking. If pot was legal here, I'd buy him some. LOL

[Clutter in reply to Hellonwheels]

Hellonwheels,

It's unacceptable to lash out at you because he is dissatisfied or unhappy. He needs to work out his unhappiness in a more acceptable way.

[Hellonwheels in reply to Clutter]

Totally agree. Is there anything you can recommend to help me in the meantime?

[Clutter in reply to Hellonwheels]

Hellonwhells,

You could see whether antihistamine helps with the hives.

[Treepie]

Agree with Clutter .Meditation might help you .

[Hellonwheels]

Since this post (5 months ago) he has not been like this. Yes, it absolutely affects my health when he does act out; but honestly, it's very infrequent, and all of his GOOD qualities are worth putting up with some BS, on occasion. I can be quite moody, myself.

Thanks for the tips; I'll give those a try next time.