Feeling down: Hi Not sure if should write this... - Thyroid UK

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Feeling down

Kitti1 profile image
26 Replies

Hi

Not sure if should write this post.

Following on from my last post the blood test results post. I've been on t3 ( 6.25mg ) 4 days. Felt good yesterday, up beat and had enough energy to do some cleaning / a big catch up clean, the house was minging.

Today I've just been so tired out and down. The last couple of hours very teary, just feel so fed up that nothing good ever happens. I'm sorry but my life's been sh#t and sometimes I dispare. I just feel its not fair my thyroid and my other hormone & health problems have had such a bad effect on my life / ruined my life. Sorry but I'm not being melodramatic.

Hopefully the feelings will pass. But it doesn't change the practicalities.

Although just watching 'The life swap adventure' on bbc2. They walk 3 miles to the water source, usually twice a day and carry back the water 3 miles.

Thankful for small mercies ? Yes. But if they are Happy, who's better off ?

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Kitti1 profile image
Kitti1
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26 Replies
nicky-nicky159 profile image
nicky-nicky159

Hi Sorry you are feeling so down but we are all in the boat . I can't help you as I'm new to this too but we got a dog so came rain or sun I'm out walking and its helps ;-)

Kitti1 profile image
Kitti1 in reply to nicky-nicky159

Thank you nicky-nicky159 Just another of those days I guess. But thank you for your reply and hope you get better medicated soon. Doctors are so immune to leaving us so under medicated and ill that it beggers belief. I've been hypo 30 years and never really well, with other health problems going on.

Id recommend lots and lots of reading on here, its fab 👍. And basically become your own doctor. Its the only way. It just doesn't change the car crash that being ill has caused.

greygoose profile image
greygoose

I'm not sure I should write this response. But, I'm going to. :D

Stop comparing your life - yourself - to others. That's very important. I know thyroid sucks, I've had it all my life. But, if I spent all my time looking at others and comparing myself to them, I'd never have time to live my own life.

It doesn't matter what other people have and you don't have - or, come to that, what you have and others don't - it's not a competition. You do the best you can with what you've got.

Took me a long time to learn that lesson, but I married a man who lived his life as if all the world had been invited to a party, except him. He was bitter and twisted. And, I saw how futile that was. He could never fill his life because he was always looking round to see what other people had, and did. Yes, he had health challenges - life's not fair - but instead of trying to over-come those challenges, he just sat and complained about them, about how life had treated him so badly. Well, life treats a lot of people badly. In fact, it probably treats everyone badly in one way or another but we don't always see it. We've got to concentrate on the good, and not the bad. Have a rant and a moan, by all means, but then chin up, shoulders back and carry on. :)

And, now, you can tell me I'm being rude, and unsympathetic, and whatever you like! It's ok. I know I am. But, attitude is everything!

And, now down to practicalities! You over-did it yesterday, used up all your T3, which you cannot easily replace, and now you're paying the price. We have to learn to pace ourselves, I'm afraid. You are not taking enough T3 to support all that activity. Especially when you're not used to it. So, now, make a cup of tea, put your feet up, and watch something funny on the telly. And, next time you feel good, take it easy and enjoy it. The housework is not going to run away. :)

Kitti1 profile image
Kitti1 in reply to greygoose

THANK YOU 😢 I'll pm soon just very down. But I know you are right. It just feels so blooming unfair sometimes 😢

greygoose profile image
greygoose in reply to Kitti1

As I always said to my kids - and they now say to their kids - who ever told you that life was fair? It isn't. :(

Salphy profile image
Salphy in reply to greygoose

Having been speaking to a friend yesterday who I have known since nursery (we're 25 now.) She asked about my conditions, deficiencies, symptoms etc. Then concluded that I just need an energy boost and asked "could you not just have a berocca? That's what I do when I'm tired and it makes me feel better"

Wow. Yes why didn't I think of that?! I'll just go and bin my thyroxine, folic acid, vit d and b12 injection prescriptions...

Got me down wondering how nice it must be to be able to get a boost from a berocca and feel like a normal 25 year old. It's so hard but you're right greygoose. We shouldn't be comparing ourselves to others. Thanks for your post to remind us of that. Feel lucky to be able to get the support from here.

Hope you feel better soon Kitti x

greygoose profile image
greygoose in reply to Salphy

I may be a cynic, but I have my doubts that anyone can feel better after a berocca. I think it's just an association of ideas...

Salphy profile image
Salphy in reply to greygoose

That was my thoughts too. Was also like rubbing salt into the wound that she couldn't atleast have suggested something with even a little bit of substance/evidence/reputation behind it.

Placebo I think. But hey I'd take placebo over feeling like this x

greygoose profile image
greygoose in reply to Salphy

Placebos are great things, I don't knock them. But, they don't always work.

Kitti1 profile image
Kitti1 in reply to Salphy

Thank you Salphy & you too x

Saggyuk profile image
Saggyuk

I suppose it's a little easier for me as was soooo ill since a child to the extent of not being able to get out of bed for anything for many of those years so now even though I'm aware it isn't quite normal still, it feels like 100% better than I was so it feels great as never really knew what it was to feel normal health wise.

Even today though, I do match my lifestyle to the issues I have so I always ensure I have one day a week (when my daughter goes to her dads) to do basically nothing - sleep until i wake up naturally, veg, laze around in my pyjamas and chill and eat chocolate lol. If I don't do this, it makes the week much harder and I struggle to get enough energy for much at all so I accept it and enjoy it knowing that I will be recovered enough to manage everything and feel good for the next six days. Sometimes, I can skip a weekend if not overdoing it too much. If there's something highly energetic I have to do that I know will really take it out of me, I always chose to do it the day before my veg day. Friends and family don't understand this but it makes the rest of my days easier lol. Sometimes, when I know I've used up my T3, I do take a little extra but this is rare as would often be in the evening and then either it's too late to make up for it or I can't sleep which then doesn't help so I don't bother any more lol :-)

Salphy profile image
Salphy in reply to Saggyuk

Glad it's not just me! :) I work part time so I get my 2 days to veg then weekend I can spend with my other half and family and not have them see me so exhausted I can't function. Financially it's crap but we have to do what we have to for a bit of quality of life X

Singoutloud profile image
Singoutloud

To be honest I think we all have days like this but not many of us are brave enough to talk about it for fear of the depression label.

However, I believe @greygoose hit the nail on the head when saying you probably over did it and used up all your T3. It's easy to do when you feel a little better. Take it easy and be gentle on yourself. Unfortunately It's a long road to recovery, and it won't happen over night but slowly you'll find yourself more able to things you haven't been able to do for a while.

I remember sitting in the Eye Dept of a major hospital. I had a detached retina, after being throw downstairs by my then husband. (I divorced him by the way.)

I was feeling really sorry for myself, when a young man was brought in a wheelchair. He had massive eye problems, but more importantly no legs. Guess what I soon felt quite OK.

Snoddyoddbod profile image
Snoddyoddbod

Morning kitti

It's the blue smurf here!!!

I've just woken up and feel just like you this morning. Have a massive headache eyes like overstuffed suitcases one ear if spinning at 50 thousand feet and the rest of my body and joints have been mown over by a steam roller!!! I walked round an antiques fair yesterday and that was it!!!

We've run out of T3 for a day or so. No fire left in the engine !

I'm never sure what is more frustrating tho, the situation I find myself in or getting those around my to understand!

And on days like this you certainly do throw the life isn't fair quote about. I know and fully understand there are folk out there so so much worse off than I am but some days I just would like to wallow in my own issues and feel crap about it.

Dear Kitti, sending my arms to hug you and my shoulder to rest your head on. Take it easy today only do the minimum to get today done. Give yourself time to recover it will pass !!

Chin up show the world your whiskers !!!

Xx

NatChap profile image
NatChap

I had one of those days on Thursday so completely understand. Spent most of the day crying. I felt much better the day after but I have realised that I need to figure out ways to manage my low days so I don't end up in a downward spiral which is no good for me or those around me (my life on the whole is great, I really have nothing to complain about. Life has thrown some shitty curveballs with regards health issues in my family though)

My thyroid levels are a constant work in progress..I felt really well for months and thought I'd got it sorted (I can't be too far off, I'm up to 4 1/2 grains of NDT!) but then my T3 dropped again. I think I will always have odd days like that anyway though because I am a worrier so I have decided to see a 'therapist' to try and teach me how to cope with stress which I think is my biggest issue.

I have a tendency, particularly when under medicated, to allow my mind to run away with me. Constantly thinking about what has happened, what might happen, worrying about everybody etc...I am doing yoga once a week which is great because while you are concentrating on breathing and postures you can't have all these other thoughts in your head. I have also been looking into 'mindfulness' which I think is perfect for me. But like others have said, we need to take it easy and enjoy the good days, as tempting as it is to use those days to get everything done. I feel terribly guilty for not being constantly on the go as I have always had a problem with relaxing but maybe that is a positive to take from this illness..learning to stop and smell the roses (literally in my case as i spend a lot of time gardening but never actually spent any time just sitting in it and enjoying it which I have begun to do!)

Hope you feel more positive today xx

ljk1 profile image
ljk1 in reply to NatChap

Hi Natchap, try and get on an ACT course, I'm half way through one and I would recommend it to anyone who gets depressed! It is free-run by NHS-and has worked like magic for me! After 30 years of anti depressants I swapped to SAM-e a couple of years ago which worked really well for me, but still got 'the chattering mind' etc, ACT shows you ways of coping and moving on,it uses mindfulness etc. Feel I have control for once!

Jackiez profile image
Jackiez

Be kind to yourself, rest your body and rest your mind. I used to feel guilty for not getting things done, but now I just try and do a bit each day, and rest when I need to. I hope you feel better soon😘

Kitti1 profile image
Kitti1

nicky-nicky159 greygoose Salphy Saggyuk Singoutloud Hidden Snoddyoddbod (everyone's favorite smurf ! ) NatChap ljk1 & Jackiez

Thank you so much for your kind words, support, empathy and sharing your own experiences. It definitely helps to know I'm not the only one.

I think I'm going to up my levo as well as slowly introducing some t3. Both were below the bottom of the range in recent blue horizon blood tests. Ive got a blood test at the docs on Thursday , but I'm not going to wait to put my levo dose back up. My old gp reduced it a few weeks ago from 125mg to 100mg, prat ! And I was already under medicated. If my new doc won't put it back up to 125mg then I can always buy some.

Thanks again and I hope you all have a good BHM. I think I'm going to take it easy, still feel quite weak. X

Snoddyoddbod profile image
Snoddyoddbod in reply to Kitti1

Hi kitti.

I think that's one of the best things we have to learn about Graves' disease, your not the only one!!!

Until I found this forum and the wonderful people on it, I felt dreadfully isolated and very low.

Now I know when I'm having an off day or on me soap box shouting at the world, there's a group of awesome people listening to kick me up the bottom and get me going again!!

When others don't understand it's difficult but remember they don't understand coz they are ignorant.

So if we need to take a slow day because our engines are out of steam, so be it!!! Better service will resume tomorrow!!!

Hugs to all x

Rapunzel profile image
Rapunzel

Hey Kitti. :)

We all have days like this. I love what greygoose has written because every last drop of it is spot on. We only have our own mocassins to walk in. Obvs I have 100 pairs and a bag to match every one but I can only walk in one pair at a time and the choice doesn't make me any happier. TBH just confusing.

Acceptance. Still working on this myself but know it's the answer to many half assed first world 'problems' we all ponder. Know what you're responsible for and also what you have no/limited control over and accept.

Tomorrow won't be perfect, either. But you can make it better (((Kitti)))

puffyface profile image
puffyface

Are you feeling any better today? Hope so. It's so difficult to deal with having energy one day and none the next...it's impossible to plan your life. What I have learnt over the last couple of years is that I can't be the person who did 20 things at once any more...all at 100 miles an hour. Instead, I have to look after myself. Rest enough, look after that energy. I really hope you have people around you who understand this and look after you too. Wrap yourself up in cotton wool for a couple of days and do whatever makes you happy. A funny film...and a cup of tea! Whatever suits your mood. The rest can wait.

xx

Kitti1 profile image
Kitti1 in reply to puffyface

Hi puffyface thankyou for your kind message. Hopefully feel better tomorrow. I think Ive felt even more tired today but not as down thankfully

jgelliss profile image
jgelliss

Kitti1 my sympathy and prayers go out to you . It's awful to feel so down . I'm hoping for your sake it gets resolved satisfactorily for you very soon . Do you have lab results with your FT3/FT4 TSH? You might have your answers there . Our leaders of this wonderful forum can perhaps help you when you post the results .

Kitti1 profile image
Kitti1 in reply to jgelliss

Hi jgelliss Thank you for your kind message and yes its definitely my bloods.

Heres the results I got on Friday

healthunlocked.com/thyroidu...

Sandra600 profile image
Sandra600 in reply to Kitti1

Hi Kitti, you kindly replied to me recently when I posted to say that my GP wanted to lower my dose because of my low TSH. Looking at your recent blood tests you were very under medicated. Hope the T3 you are now taking makes you feel better soon, it is still very early days. Good luck.

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