Sorry this is slightly off topic, I was just wondering what others would do in my shoes. I am feeling confused at what to do.
I went on Mirtzapine/Remeron in May 2013, 8 months after I was attacked by my brother. My mother and sisters cut me out and made my life hell because I wouldn't forgive him and I was in a terrible place. I'd also lost my grandmother a few months before. I am so against meds but after trying a couple that landed me in an ambulance and a nasty reaction my only choice was Mirtazapine. I was agoraphobic, I never slept a wink and if I did catch an hour I'd have nightmares, I was an anxious wreck and couldn't take care of my children, hubby had to work from home at one point. I agreed to try the meds but at a low dose. I went on 7.5mg, I slept, ate and life was good again. Then in December 2013 my mum was getting married on Christmas Eve, she wanted us to have a fresh start and wanted me at her wedding, I had a sister hurling abuse at me if I didn't go etc... I had a major anxiety relapse. I was then told to up to the 15mg, which is the lowest dose. I felt better within a few weeks and since then I have been calm, so laid back with my children where as I had been an anxious wreck and couldn't function. I ate at last and gained a much needed 2 stone. (I was a painful 6 stone or less). I slept well and generally they did me the world of good.
I never had any side effects to my knowledge. My GP kept an eye on my weight as they do cause weight gain but it was needed in my case. It raised my cholesterol slightly but my GP said that could have been family related as it runs through my mums side, also it's a hypot symptom. I did however feel very tired in the mornings, well like a drugged up zombie haha but I could function and felt fine after a few hours. I never felt ill just foggy headed and sedated. I never felt fatigued like I do now. Then August 2015 I felt very tired, I had a few months before but not constant, I then went through the stress with my son being badly bullied and he was suicidal and wham my fatigue worsened to the point I was dizzy, weak and couldn't walk around. My GP diagnosed stress and told me I needed rest and probably therapy to help me through yet another traumatic time. My son is fine now by the way. I asked my GP then could I wean off Mirtazapine incase it was causing any fatigue issues and he said it was the wrong time.
January 2016 diagnosed subclinical and by May 2016 hypo and given thyrorxine 25mg (Tsh was 9.28 FT4 14) . I started 50mg levo in September and am due a blood test at the end of this month. My fatigue did start to lift but recently after a very bad anxiety relapse over December (again due to family contact and Christmas upsetting me) my fatigue has returned along with leg weakness. GP ran a whole set of bloods 2 months ago just to rule out any other fatigue causes and all ok. This fatigue has hit again about 3 weeks ago during the anxiety setback last month, I am coming out of that anxiety now but have been left with this awful fatigue. I wake in the morning, I have dizzy eyes, foggy head, weak legs and fatigue all over which lasts all day, along with some unreality due to how sedated I feel. It's horrible and raises my anxiety levels, I just hate feeling so weak and fatigued. This last year since the ill health started my anxiety came flooding back as did the agoraphobia all due to how weak and fatigued I have been, and hiding away at home I became socially anxious. Thankfully I've a wonderful husband and children that keep me smiling and I love my life despite this. I am just fed up of waking up every day feeling so weak and fatigued. I feel too ill to do anything. I had started doing housework again, walking my dog alone for 10 minutes, yoga.... but now I am back to this sheer exhaustion and body weakness.
I spoke to my husband and friend about withdrawing from Mirtazapine and they both think right now is the wrong time. I am only just coming through a setback, I have had a very tough year, GP is still trying to get me on a theraputic dose of levo and they think my GP will agree right now is not the right time. I have gone back to therapy to help me with the past traumas and anxiety which I know will help me a lot. I stopped therapy last year as i felt too unwell to cope with it, I was too tired lol!
I just sometimes worry Mirtazapine as it is a sedative it could be adding to my fatigue but my hubby says after 2 years it wouldn't suddenly cause chronic fatigue and I have to accept this fatigue I have had the last year is all due to stress/trauma that has caught up with me and the hypothyroidism. My GP has told me I have chronic fatigue and the thyroid illness and I have to trust that would cause this awful crippling fatigue and weakness. I just felt a little better in the autumn and now I am back to crippling fatigue daily I am beating myself up and maybe looking for something to blame.
My husband and friend also said they remember how traumatised I was 4 years ago and how severe my anxiety was and now I am relaxed (believe it or not, it's just my mind that races), I am happier and content, I sleep amazingly and love to eat. I challenged them and said that now I have anxiety and agoraphobia again why hasn't it helped but like they said being ill with fatigue and weakness will have brought all those things back as I lost my confidence as at one point i was bed ridden with fatigue. I can now function but some days I am more tired than others. I just wonder if after over 3 years I should still take the drug. I have heard withdrawals are nasty so maybe right now adding that into the mix is not a good idea. I just hate feeling this fatigued and unreal due to how foggy headed I feel. Maybe it's all hypo related and I am blaming this drug and adding another problem that's not there.
In my shoes what would you do? The trauma is behind me but I still have ongoing turmoil due to the situation with my mum hurting me and in and out of my life and sister that still tries to contact me on birthdays so she can see my children (or demands to see them). Other than that though things are behind me and I have stayed strong and made sure I have minimal contact with them. I am too exhausted to think what's for the best with my medication, they say you should be stable on them 6 months before you withdraw but that won't ever happen if I stay this chronically fatigued lol!
Sorry for the ramble, this predicament keeps going around and around in my head and I can't decide what to do and whether I should just focus on my thyroid right now. I just can't stop worrying it's worsening my fatigue and making me sluggish. Maybe I just need a huge slap