I am currently going through recurrence for metastatic endometrial cancer. I got chest/abdomen/pelvis MRI scans on Friday and will see my oncologist this coming Thursday. At the same time, my mother is currently evicting me from one of the many properties she owns and one that she specifically bought for me--we shopped for houses together with the realtor. I am her only child, my brother died about 5 years ago. I have been living in this house for the last 9 years--it is very large as she wouldn't buy a more reasonable place in a more creative community, too "ghetto" for her. I'm an sculptor and use most of the space as a studio space and have bought more furniture than I would normally do to make the house feel like a home. I have some success, I show regularly and have gotten a couple of major awards.
Since my surgery in 2014, my 81-year-old mother had been telling people around her that I am faking cancer and would not return calls from my husband when I was in the hospital after the radical hysterectomy 3 years ago. She is extremely wealthy from an inheritance from my grandmother and fought off the extended family as "the only biological child" and thus deserving of the millions my grandmother left. I am taking her to court over the house in a Quiet Claim action as I only moved in because she promised it was my house (I pay utilities but not the taxes), I've invested a lot of money taking care of the house (getting it painted, landscaping, etc.), and I've been living there for the last 9+ years. She is worth at least 100 million and the house is a small fraction of her net assets.
She is also much diminished intellectually but never really understood many things about the real world as she suffers from borderline personality disorder. I've also started a conservatorship action, but the men around her that benefit from the trust have manufactured a history for her and have told me that I don't have and haven't had a relationship with her (refuted by many cards, gifts, photos--how do they explain my presence in the house for the last 9 years in a part of the world my mother knows nothing about?)
I know the conservatorship action will take a lot of money and my attorney has been told that they have many people who will attest to her capacity when I know she doesn't remember my husband's name and various events from the past are very confused and twisted. Four or five years ago it took her 5 times to pass her driver's license test. She drives terribly and has a very circumscribed route around her small town.
I blame myself for trusting this woman. I have and continue to have a therapist. To start the process of selling off all the things I have (they would never fit in an apartment) is overwhelming. As a sculptor, there are lots of supplies, because I use multiple media, I have lots of material stored for future projects. My recent work is the best I've ever made but I plan to give away as much as possible. I spent the night figuring out how to find a good home for my dogs (2 Boston Terriers). My husband is an artist with a gallery and collectors, as well, and he is also talking about suicide.
A very sweet old friend compared my situation to Mommy Dearest (Joan Crawford's daughters memoir) and he's not wrong. The BPD mother is out to destroy me when I'm down. I know I won't be able to afford the attorneys and my health care, I am having trouble wanting to do anything further about my cancer treatment. I also know my death will have very little impact on her.