It's impossible to think clearly when you're flooded with fear or anxiety. The first thing to do is take time out so we can physically calm down.
Distract yourself from the worry for 15 minutes by walking around the block, making a cup of tea or having a bath.
2. Breathe through panic!
If we start to get a faster heartbeat or sweating palms, the best thing is not to fight it.
Stay where you are and simply feel the panic without trying to distract yourself. Place the palm of your hand on your stomach and breathe slowly and deeply.
The goal is to help the mind get used to coping with panic, which takes the fear of fear away.
3. Face your fears!
Avoiding fears only makes them scarier. Whatever we fear, when we face it, it should start to fade. If you panic one day getting into a lift, for example, it's best to get back into a lift the next day.
4. Imagine the worst!!!
Try imagining the worst thing that can happen – For most of us, it’s pain, suffering, quality of life and death! Then picture it. The fear will run away the more you chase it.
5. Look at the evidence
It sometimes helps to challenge fearful thoughts. Ask yourself what you would say to a friend who had a similar fear and live it yourself! Embrace it and let be what might be, surrender fully.
6. Don't try to be perfect
Life is full of stresses, yet many of us feel that our lives must be perfect. Bad days and setbacks will always happen, and it's important to remember that life is messy.
7. Visualize a happy place!
Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine a place of safety and calm. It could be a picture of you walking on a beautiful beach, or snuggled up in bed with the cat next to you, or a happy memory from childhood. Let the positive feelings soothe you until you feel more relaxed.
8. Talk about it!
Sharing fears takes away a lot of their scariness. If you can't talk to a partner, friend or family member.
You could also try a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approach over the telephone, with a service such as NHS Living Life. If you would like to find out more about this appointment-based service, you can visit the Living Life website or phone 0800 328 9655 (Mon to Fri, 1pm to 9pm).
If your fears aren't going away, you can ask your GP for help. GPs can refer people for counselling, psychotherapy or help through an online mental health service, such as Living Life to the Full.
9. Go back to basics!
Lots of people turn to alcohol or drugs to self-treat anxiety, but this will only make matters worse. Simple, everyday things like a good night's sleep, a wholesome meal and a walk are often the best cures for anxiety.
10. Reward yourself
Finally, give yourself a treat. When you've made that call you've been dreading, for example, reinforce your success by treating yourself to a massage, a country walk, a meal out, a book, a DVD, or whatever little gift makes you happy!
Peace out! Love and hugs to you all, you beautiful, strong, courageous, brave ladies and never give up! 💕
Miriam
Written by
SunShineEveryDay
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Thanks a lot Miriam. It's really nice to take time.I already try to do all this, but I still don't feel right with what's happening to me.
I just don't want to leave my husband and kids. Not now, not in 1 year, 5 years or even 20 years. My life was awful before I met my husband. I've only had less than 18 years of reasonably good life.
I have already pictured the worse, dying in a hospice, everyone being sad, so sad, it breaks my heart... and finally getting over it, they must - after all they'll have no choice.
But still, this is just not right. I don't want it to happen.
Please Lucie, you have a right to feel all those things and you don’t to apologize for any of it! I’m still in shock myself more than a year after my diagnosis!
I have lived with Crohn’s decease for most of my life and I thought that was my bag of “goodies” that I got! Nowhere in my family is there breast cancer, so I did not expect this in a million years!
When I turned 50, I received the notice in the mail that it was time for my mammogram, just when Covid first hit and so I waited a year since I didn’t think there was any rush. Yet, here I am! But I can spend the remainder of my time being miserable or I can make the choice to be happy. Somehow that seems a lot easier! When I do my breath work and meditation I just feel peace and love and I can’t be mad at anything. I try to live every minute now with Joy. I hope you can give yourself that gift too. It’s not easy being positive and optimistic but I have always highly admired the people that are.
Don’t worry, we all have those days and those exact same thoughts. They do get less with time, mainly because it hurts too much to think like that all the time.Clare
Lucie, it is ok to grieve whenever, however you need to. Hating yourself for needing to, guiltily yourself for needing to is not not grieving or helpful. You can grieve - this is taking care of yourself. Then when you are ready you will do something else. Even though Cancer Sucks we get to live and we get to have all the feelings.
I don't want your family or the world to lose you either.
Lucie - just so you know, I feel exactly the same. It is horrible to know so many of us feel this way, but comforting that we can share our feelings here. I’m very glad you wrote that post! I’m not afraid of dying itself necessarily - I just don’t want to go! I love being alive and being with my family. It’s a good life. Trying to focus on being here now. Works better on days I feel okay! I often say a little mantra that slowly has come together in my mind these last 9 months of MBC: “I am strong. I am alive. I am happy. I am grateful. I am blessed. I am lucky. I am not alone. I’m a beloved child of God. I’m in the presence of God.” I’m not religious, but this mantra helps center me to the here and now and usually makes me smile. Thanks again for your post. Liz P from San Francisco.
I love this! Inspirational. Love this song here “it’s okay”! Have a listen.
I’m not afraid of dying either just the amount of suffering we poor ladies will have to deal with. I know once we get to that point we will come to terms with it and will have peace.
I just feel so bloody bad for my lovely young daughters of 18 & 21 and my beautiful boyfriend that I met 6 years ago after my first marriage that was tremendously volatile, living with an alcoholic and narcissist.
Here’s hoping to another 15 years like many of you here! Didn’t know this was even a possibility until I heard the many success stories here.
Aren’t they the worst? I try really hard to forget about them right after and pretend I’m as healthy as an ox! 😂 My family doctor is really nice and she does let me know a few days later, much better than my oncologist who’s so busy they just don’t have time.
Hope you are doing really well and enjoying the beautiful weather. I just made a beautiful fresh bouquet of wild flowers in a huge vase from my garden.
Love this! - well all except for #4, Picturing the worst. I have to say I don't agree with that one only because I think it's too easy for some to picture the worst and stay with that thought. Not that I'm exactly a believer in "only think positively" either because that's too much the other way. In other words, a little bit of bs to me, lol. One other thing that used to help me a lot through my worst periods was that for every story that I read in the news (and there are sadly so many) of something awful happening to someone, I'd remind myself that there is always someone out there suffering, or in a worse situation than me
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Scared, but have to go to work!
not there yet but living with MBC 
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My CA 15-3 is rising slowly, I’m scared 
