struggling today

i have just been sat in lidl carpark in tears because i wanted a cig how stupid am i am really today and i dont know why my chewing gums are having no effect what so ever what can i do im biting everyones heads off esp my husband its ok him sat there rolling a fag and saying now you know you dont want a ciggie its all in the mind arggghhhh people can be so selfish (sorry for ranting) but ive got my 3 year old grandson in half and hour the 3 three sixes i call him :) i dont know if to try another hrt maybe walk me and him to local sainsburys about 1/2 hour walk for me 2 hour for him lol and see if there is something else does anyone think the e-cig might help? but i need to do something i feel as if im going out of my mind (humphh just listen to me) 50 years old and acting like this any advice would be a great help xx

linda

13 Replies

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  • I had a day like that yesterday ....which is bad since I quit on friday :( i went to the shop and bought ten I even lit one up ..... It tasted disgusting and the smell???? .... i threw it away straight away ..... what im trying to say is maybe the need to have a cigarette sounds great in ur head but the reality is its not what u really want ..... I felt guilty as anything yesterday and feelings of failure were there too ...... hun I dont know you as im new to this site ... but i can imagine you have been fighting this for a while now and your winning!!!! dont let a stressful situation get you down .... keep fighting stay strong ....you can do this ..... I tried the e-cigs last year and they didnt help me .... the after taste they had were quite horrid and i ended up ditching them and going on the real ones ..... so this time im doing it with the gp patches and gum!

    Im no expert hun so thats the best support i can offer

    Dont give up hun you are doing great and just accept today as another test ....

    You can do it

    And im sure everyone else here will help you through this ..... Good luck x

  • HI ZOE THANKS for your reply it helps me so much you would have thought after nearly 10 weeks it would go dont want to spend againd as they are about 30.00 for the cig and inserts in our local morrisons so i will keep on with the gum but may up them to 4mg instead of the 2mg im taking but thanks so much for the quick reply but despite what im going through you can and will suceed with this quit, im also comeing off HRT as well so im fighting everything at the moment so hopefully its just a bad day im having feeling weepy any :) it will pass

    linda

  • Hey hey, Linda just calm down a min gal, we all get these days, i'm on 25mg patches, but i also have a inhalator to help me in the bad times, not used the e--cig, but have heared from others that use it, that it is good!! :)

    RRRRRR dont rant at your hubby gal!! have you got a garage, or a shed, if so then go in and scream your head off gal, you let that lawnmower know who's boss!!!! :X

    If you are going to walk to sainsburys, then as you walk, just take some nice deep breathes, of that fresh air!!!! :) keep strong Linda, i know you can do this and so do you!! :) we are all with you gal, you know that!!!! :)

    Pete :)

  • Hey Linda, what you are feeling is pretty normal so don't worry. I promise you that it won't last too long and that it definitely won't last forever..

    You're now in your 10th week aren't you? You have come so far and right at this point you can make one of 2 choices... Smoke or not smoke. However, these are the outcomes;

    1. Choose to smoke

    - If you do smoke, hopefully after a couple of puffs you'll see that the thought of smoking is far better than the actual act of smoking. You can then put it out and get back on track straight away.

    - If you have a full cigarette, hopefully you will feel the same as above and think about all the ones that you haven't had and get back on track. Just hoping that this one smoke does not undo all your hard efforts and work so far. Things like messing up your taste buds so that any future cigarettes won't taste as bad.

    - Go back to smoking full time - one generally does lead to the next and you will feel awful about it.

    If you choose to think that ' one won't hurt'... Please consider all the above. The one thing that you can almost guarantee is that you will have those little demons in your head winning and even telling you that you could always quit again tomorrow... Tomorrow becomes next week and then next Monday... You will set another date, however, you will have to go through all this again. You will get there, in the end. But why wait until whenever, why not now?

    Your other choice is;

    2. Choose not smoke

    You will have, and have had your ups and downs. This is what life brings to all of us, smokers and non smokers. It's the choices that we make that lead us to how we feel.

    Is there any chance you could be feeling this way anyway and these demons are just trying to make you believe it's all because of the cigarettes?

    10 weeks is a great benchmark, almost at your 3 months. You have done ever so well. The last tiime I gave in to smoking, I was at 9 weeks. I then smoked for another 12 months before quitting again, for good. Thankfully that was in 1994 and I think that I'm luckily enough not to have been left with any major illnesses or ailments caused by smoking. We just never know which 'piggy' will bring what though.

    Remember Linda that it's not that you can't smoke, you can if you want to. It's a choice. This is something that no matter what goes in in our / your life, it's a choice that belongs to you. It's all in your control. Remember that you are choosing to do something that you no longer wish to do... I hope that makes sense?

    You can do this and have done amazingly well so far.

    Be strong and think how well you've done :-)

    Big positive vibes being sent to you xx

  • Hey Linda, I forgot to mention about the gum, when you are using it just make sure that you are only having a little chew of it as and when you need it. Don't use it as you would a normal chewing gum. So if you think of 'park and chew', as you have a couple of chews to release the nicotine, park it back at the side of your mouth until the next time. Try and reduce the amount of hot drinks, tea, coffee etc as this will wash the nicotine away more quickly from your nicotine gum. If it helps, then yes use the next mg up or maybe as Pete does, keep the inhalator handy so you can top up as you need it.

    Try practicing some of the breathing exercises, they do help.

    Zoe and Pete's posts are fab, thanks folks :-)

  • hi emjay

    thanks for your reply i think i am using the gum wrong i am using them like chewing gum :) i am going out to get a higher dose og gum and see if it helps pete thank you so much for your reply really appreciate it, xxx

    might even get a choccie bar while im out too :)

  • Hi Linda - the bad days are reaaally bad, aren't they? It's very difficult being around smokers sometimes too, when we're feeling a bit wobbly, but it WILL pass. Every time we manage a bad day without a cig makes us stronger! I know it's hard to think like that all the time - I'm no-one to preach, cos I'm having a sh** day today and couldn't trust myself to leave the house with my purse in case I went into the local shop and bought 10 fags - but we can all do it, I'm sure. Well done you, and keep going x

  • Hiya Lindy, sorry you're having such a bad day. :( How about taking your grandson up the local park and have a screaming competition and if it's wet where you are put on your wellies and jump in any puddles you find and then race to the swings and jump on the roundabout!! :o WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

    :D :D (Oh, and you can tell hubby where to get off too. ;-) )

    Andi x

  • hi andi and finley feeling a bit calmer now we both went to the shop and i have upped my grammage and i am now chewing on a 4mg gum its bliss doing what emjay said chew and rest chew and rest it is helping finley just read your post keep strong if i can get here so can you we need to listen to what others are saying and take there advice it does work as for that pharmacyst of yours he needs a gentle slap for unhelpfulness but keep strong you will get there

  • Hi Lindy Thanks for the support and glad you're feeling a bit better. I finally got through to local NHS service this morning and there's a drop in I can go to at 5pm, where there's an advisor and they can prescribe NRT, so I'm going to see them and hopefully get the NRT and some ongoing support sorted out - but the support on here is also terrific, really appreciated :-)

  • Hey Lindy, I am so sorry you've had such a tough time today but I am relieved to hear you're feeling a bit calmer now. You've come so far, 10 weeks, it's such a long time to be fighting the fight you must be so proud of yourself! I tip my cap to you :)

    When you feel like you have today and have handled it and have come out the other side feeling calmer you must feel like okay, if I can handle that, I can handle anything!

    Sending you a big hug, stay strong, because that's truly what you are! xxx

  • hi Lindy, Your not on your own , there are days I get weepy, I blame the quitting but then I thought to myself is it the ciggys or is that the excuse. Like you i am an adult who ought to know better (63yrs) but there again it does you good to have a cry. When I get in a bad mood :( I usually do the ironing.

    wouldnt mind i hate ironing normally. Stick at it love you are doing great. :)

    See ya soon.xx

  • thanks Jilly and leanne its helped reading the replys today did the ironing this morning at 9am :( i blame my husband he woke me up at 6/;30 with a cup of tea?? why becuase he couldnt sleep so therefore i needed to be awake to, i wouldnt mind but after he drank his brew he fell to sleep!!! so i got up and ironed after watching a bit of tv i told him next time he cant sleep not to wake me up on a weekend at that time i was so tired i dont think it helped my morning then he wonders why i was ratty, ive come this far i couldnt cave and have a cig it would mean all this has been for nothing just wasted will keep at it will have an early night tonight and wake hubby up when i get up tomorrow for work at 6:20 :) see how he likes it

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