Weĺl, ger was buried last thursday, 17 days after he died. He was received into the church Wednesday night for a short service. The church was packed. Next morning requiem mass, cremation and then wake in the afternoon. Church packed again. I did ger's eulogy because i wanted people to remember ger before he had psp and possibly learn things about him that they didn't know he was capable of in his healthier life. I had it all typed out for myself and as long as i didn't focus on any face i was ok.
So much beaurocracy now. Went to solicitor who did gers POA and she said i need grant of probate so just starting to collect the myriad of papers she needs. Easier for her to do than me.
My life has been taken over by people doing things for me. My son is taking me to see "Murder on the orient express" wednesday eve after his birthday dins. I have 2 weekends away with family planned, 2 weddings to look forward to, several daytime outings and a trip to south africa in february. Already 2 pre christmas dinners, ideal home show, and hope to start back to my keep fit today. Everyone means well and they are trying to keep me engaged and upbeat for which i am grateful. My down times are at very odd times. Not always when i am by myself which i find strange but maybe thats normal.
Thank you so much for all the lovely, very helpful comments i have had over the years from the amazing PSP family on this site. They have been encouraging and supportive. The one thing i have learnt on here is that there should be NO GUILT and I'm finding i have none. I did all that i could and ger had family and friends at home with him when he died. Peacefully at the end TG.
Love always and god bless each and every one of you on your arguous journeys.
Marie
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God bless you Marie. Take comfort that ger was surrounded by love. You have been on a journey together and now time for you to continue the journey alone but with ger in your heart ❤ give yourself time sweetheart. Xxxx
Hi Duffers, you are correct, no guilt. Ger will never be far from your thoughts but now is your time. I’m so pleased you have lots planned and you have family and friends around you who are trying to make things easier. A year on, there are still moments that bring tears to my eyes briefly. Certain songs on the radio, the smell of after shave, my husband’s mannerisms showing in my sons etc and talking to a widow of 15 years, she still has her moments so it’s very normal I think.
I gave myself the gap year I never had when I was younger; lots of travelling, theatre trips, meals out, day trips with my U3A friends and surprisingly it’s all been good. So good that my gap year is now going into a gap two years and still no decorating done. My darling comes with me in my heart and I’m sure if he could he would encourage me to make the most of every day. He discovered life is very short.
Hi Marie, I agree, no guilt! Why should there be. We all do/did our best for our loved ones. Who could ask for more.
Well done you, getting out and about. It doesn't make things better, or worse. If You manage the enjoy some of the things you have planned, so much the better. I envy you the trip to South Africa. I have to go back soon, but not sure I am brave enough yet.
The one thing I am learning about grief is, its just has unpredictable as PSP. Things you think are going to be hard,you sail through, others hit you right below the belt. Also, it's baby steps. The legal side doesn't have to be done today, I still am sorting things out, do a bit, then leave it for a while, before I tackle the rest.
I love NannaB's idea of having a gap year. Personally, I think this past year as been a blur year. Anniversary coming up end of December. I will be in Gran Canaria, hopefully catching a few sun rays. After that, I plan to get my life back on track. Don't know how yet, but time to get off the sofa!
Gran canaria. Lovely place. Lie back and enjoy sun sea and sangria. Grant of probate on my mind so sooner i get that done the better for my peace of mind. Keep fit today. Probably wont be able to walk tomor lol.
Marie so happy for you, life after PSP is hard, and yes no guilt. Anne think about you most days and Bev you are all an inspiration to us all. Yvonne xxxx
So glad your family and friends are rallying round for you. Life will be different but you did everything possible for ger so no guilt there. My sincere best wishes to you. Jxx
Good to know that the funeral went well Marie and that Ger had a lovely send off. Well done you for planning some well earned holidays and getting your life back on track doing the nice things in life after so long caring and hardly having time to breath. I wish you well in your new life and hope that the happy times outweigh the sadness that you are bound to feel.
Marie I have been wondering how things went at Gers funeral and how you are coping. I am glad he had a nice funeral and in awe that you could speak at it. I just couldn't manage that but my son and Granddaughter did.
You have so much planned I am speechless! I like Anne, am still at the sitting on the sofa stage. Although she has had holidays and another planned. I have been out for a few meals and that has helped. No holidays though. Apart from a couple of nights away with my Granddaughter. I have to say I didn't really enjoy it which is odd. We get on really well and it seemed very odd at the time and still does when I think back.
I am glad you have so much support from your family. You are so lucky. I wish I had a large family but we only had two children and two Grandchildren. One is only 8! So he is sweet but not taking him away as my daughter wouldn't allow it! Friends are few and far between. Some have never got back in contact after vanishing when Garry was ill.
You will be worn out with all your outings and trip to Sth Africa but I am sure it's good to get out and enjoy yourself after feeling like a prisoner. Sad that PSP does that to carers and patients too?
Lots of hugs and love to you. Make sure you keep in touch?
Well dear it is over....lots of people in the room, keep hold of them, no guilt calling them next month and say "hey".....I find that my lack of willingness to reach out to people in my young years have left me rather empty handed in my older years....I still kinda like it and I still have you all... thank you...so if'n you want to talk, most of us are still hear and God is always here...
No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you...John 15:5
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