Last Stages: Sadly I lost my husband Richard... - PSP Association

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Last Stages

SharonandRichard profile image

Sadly I lost my husband Richard to PSP two weeks ago. I'll miss him dreadfully, but the man he was, not the man he'd become , as he could no longer talk, was falling frequently so needed 24/7 care and was taking all medication and food through a PEG, which he decided to have fitted about 2 years ago,

He'd recently been in hospital after falling and hurting his head. They diagnosed a small bleed on the brain. After a week he was ready to be discharged but then had pneumonia. I bought him home a week later.

That last week was so awful, I didn't realise it would be his last. After a couple of days I realised that I wouldn't be able to go through this on my own. The Social Prescrber at our doctors surgery was marvellous; she arranged for a care assessment, but that was in 4 weeks time, so the hospice tried to get it sooner by saying he had lass than 3 months to live ( although at the time we thought this would be longer). This was refused as he didn't meet the criteria.

On his last night I helped him to bed and after a few minutes heard a bump. He'd tried to get up and was halfway out of bed. I tried to lift him back but he was too heavy, we ended up on the floor and I rang my son to help me. When he arrived unbeknown to me Richard had stopped breathing, we tried CPR until the ambulance arrived, but it was too late he'd already gone.

Not sure why I'm writing this, I think it's just helping getting it down on paper. We're now waiting for a post mortem as they're classing it as an unexplained death as he died at home; despite our GP putting PSP and secondary bleed on the brain ( I know there was the official words for this, but they escape me at the moment) as a cause of death. It just seems a final indignity if this awful disease.

My only consolation is that he's free from PSP, I just didn't realise that in his case it would come so soon, and I'm grateful for his sake that he died at home and I was with him. Towards the end he wrote saying he didn't want to die in hospital and was scared that I wouldn't be with him.

Thank you for reading this and my heart goes out to all those who are suffering and caring.

My love to you all.

Sharon

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SharonandRichard profile image
SharonandRichard
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27 Replies
Bella9999 profile image
Bella9999

so sorry to hear your sad news, my husband has just been diagnosed I have never heard of PSP until this week.

Troubleandstrife profile image
Troubleandstrife in reply toBella9999

I’m sorry. I hope you have supportive people around you.

45purple profile image
45purple

So sorry for the loss of your husband. It’s good for you to write your thoughts and share as it won’t be an easy time for you. Take comfort in that he is no longer suffering. Sending hugs 💜💜

Willowden profile image
Willowden

So sorry for your sad loss. I think it must help in some way to write it down and talk about it. Take comfort where you can in the fact that he is no longer suffering.xx

Tippyleaf profile image
Tippyleaf

Sending my condolences, please look after yourself as you start this new and challenging phase- grief is exhausting

Hugs Tippy

Catmum58 profile image
Catmum58

So sorry for you. As you said at least he got his last wishes and was home with you. It is such a horrible disease so at least his suffering is over. Look after yourself.

AnneandChris profile image
AnneandChris

Sharon, sending the biggest cyber hugs. My thoughts are with you and your family, PSP is so devastating. It is good to talk and to write your thoughts down. Please take care of yourself, keep on keeping on.Anne

Rose1sunflower profile image
Rose1sunflower

My thoughts are with you and your family. You have been through a series of difficult and trying events in these past few weeks. Take carexx

CurlyJ profile image
CurlyJ

I’m so sorry to read this Sharon. Thinking of you and your family.

Thank you all for your kind words. My heart goes ou to all those suffering and their carers. ❤️

A big hug.

Luis

Thinking of you at this very sad time. ❤️

Thinking of you at this very sad time. ❤️

bichonbear1 profile image
bichonbear1

Thinking of you, it’s so understandable how writing things down can help a little. Sending much strength. Take care of you ❤️

Heady profile image
Heady

sending big hug and much love

Lots of love

Anne

Lukade profile image
Lukade

My thoughts are with you and your family,sending love to you all.x

mumnme profile image
mumnme

My deepest condolence to you and your family Sharon. So sad for you and Richard to have gone though and this. Peace of sent 💔

Keepbiking profile image
Keepbiking

My heart goes out to you Sharon. This disease, as you said, is one indignity after another. But you were able to meet Richard’s last wishes to die at home. Try to find solace in that as you work through this time.

daddyt profile image
daddyt

So very for your loss, Sharon xx 🙏🙏🙏. As a side note, I would now be asking whatever authority that turned you down for hospice, if death meets the criteria.

Runner333 profile image
Runner333

Sharon thank you for sharing your experience. I am so sorry that you lost Richard to PSP. You are so brave and I wish for you peace and love.

LFG3 profile image
LFG3

Sharon, my deepest condolences at this difficult time. Richard is finally free from this disease and is now at peace. May you find comfort in that. Rest easy. ❤️

Purrlie profile image
Purrlie

So very sorry for your loss, Sharon. For those of us who are left behind it is a consolation to know our loved one is no longer struggling with this horrid disease. I hope you will find some comfort knowing your dear Richard is at peace. A big hug, Purrlie.

Kelmisty profile image
Kelmisty

❤️ take care of yourself, xx

Richard33 profile image
Richard33

Sharon,

It is a dreadful disease and sadly the best you could hope for was that he died at home and with you at his side. I am not far on the road behind you and I guess I can only admit I do not want the last stage to go on too long. But it is heartbreaking to lose the one you love even though you know it is coming. Sending love and hugs....

Richard

Sharsuk profile image
Sharsuk

Dear Sharon,

Very sorry for your loss. My heartfelt condolences to you and your son/family.

Reading your experiences, could understand the pain you went through. You took the best care of him so please take care of yourself now.

Dance1955 profile image
Dance1955

so sorry for your loss Sharon it’s an awful desease your husband is now at peace it’s a shame there is so much ignorance and lack of support with PSP

Take care hugs to you I lost my beloved husband in Dec after suffering for a very long time with PSP too xx

telling your story helps us all. I’m sorry. There is no ideal end to our stories. The only solace is that they are free.

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