I am going through a dark tunnel don't know which way to turn, George's agitation is getting beyond belief, feel so stressed. Last night he was trying to get out of bed, saying he was not tired, then put the sides up, what does he do, his legs were over the top of the bed, banging on the bed until 3.30 in the morning.
Today he is very agitated opened his catheter urine all over the chair and floor, I have increased his lorazepam to two, no different. Anyone else have this behaviour I just can't cope with it, when I have had no sleep.
Granddaughter here she has just come out into the kitchen asking me if I needed a hug, I said yes please, so unfair this f****g PSP just want a life, just want to be able to sleep, I want to be able to be me, I now it is being selfish but I can't stand it anymore. I often wonder if George would do this for me, and the answer say I don't think so.
I am away in May for a week feel like it is taking forever to come around.
Am I being horrible and selfish? But it is hard.
To top it all George was suppose to go and have a super pubic catheter, he doesn't want it we have all tried to convince him, DN came in a tried we have all tried, so I cancelled it on Monday only to have 2 phone calls today to ask were George was? Do people just take messages and not bother to relay them? What a waste of the hospital time, I asked them to tell the consultant, they said they would, but once again people don't care. Yvonne xxxxx