Margaret lost her private battle with PSP and the palliative drugs. She slipped quietly away at 0825 this morning, while my back was turned for moment, one shallow breath and silence. After 6 days of being by her side most of the time watching and waiting it was a strange feeling. My thought she knew the holidays were over and the GP would be back. Everyone was fantastic nursing home gave us space the GP and funeral directors coordinated to get M into refrigerator, so UCL brain bank has opportunity to harvest her brain for research, within 4 hrs. Church and grave yard coordinated to arrange a convenient date for service and burial so I was able to tell family of the news and time of funeral in one call. Sons were great leaving me to phone round while they took down the decorations, cleaned, cooked and got house ready for visitors.
My quote is from Pilgrims Progress. "Mr(s) Valiant for truth on learning his(her) imminent death gave his courage and sword to those who could take them but kept his scars and marks as a record to his redeemer then as he(she) approached the river said "Death where is thy sting" "Grave thy Victory" he went into the rive and all the trumpets in heaven sounded for him/her on the other side". RV Williams wrote a very stirring motet "Valiant for Truth" good versions on YouTube.
Though Margaret went quietly as in the still small voice of god (Kings 1) I am certain I heard the triumphant trumpets on the gale from the sea at the time.
I am bereft and have lost my companion and friend I know I will survive but realise there will be some dark days to come.
Thanks for all your help and support over the years. I will continue to read and comment but now I need space. So to everyone best wishes for a great new year and hopefully a cure for PSP. Tim
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Amilazy
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Dearest Tim, I am so sorry to hear that Margaret has died. My thoughts are with you during this most difficult time. There is nothing that makes it any easier but I hope you will have some comfort from knowing that you did your absolute best for Margaret at every stage, eventually helping her to settle at the nursing home and continuing to take her for outings which will have meant so much to her. I am glad you were able to carry out her wishes in regard to the brain donation, just as we were able to do for Derek, and that you are well supported by your family as I am.
Dear Tim, Your beloved Margaret left as Colin did, when I wasn't watching after days of constant watching and waiting. I'm sure they both went in a way they thought best for us. Your darling is now at peace and I pray you will know that special peace only He can give.
Dear Tim, I am so sorry for your loss of Margaret, I can only imagine how you feel right now and I understand you need your space but please be assured we are always here for you when you feel the need. Take care of yourself dear Tim and thank you for your support to this community, I will be forever grateful to you....
My deepest condolences for your loss. Margaret is at peace I am happy for her. You my friend have won the battle to keep love and care for her. It is a heroic thing to do with this terrible decease being such a formidable adversary. You must grieve your loss and than please come back and keep in touch. Your experience has been a great benefit to us. God bless you and comfort you. prayers and hugs.
Tim so sorry to hear your news, really such a sad time, for quite a few on the site, sending you a big hug, M is in a much better place away from PSP, sending you a big hug xxxxx
Oh Tim, I don't know what to say! It heartbreaking for you, but for Margaret, she is finally free from this evil disease. I am taking so much comfort from that fact. With the natural numbness that comes with a close bereavement and relief that Steve is no longer suffering, helping me enormously.
Remember, it really is one day at a time now. Do things your way and at YOUR pace. Try to create special memories. Steve left our house in his climbing gear, a stuffy old tee-shirt and shorts. He hated long trousers, but has had to live in them for a year, due to the Catether. He will be cremated like this. The whole family are loving the fact that Steve is going ready to climb again.
I thank you Tim, for your support over the years. The way you portrayed your love for Margaret and the continuing care for her, even though she was in the home, gave me hope, that I might be able to the same. Your Margaret was one very lucky lady. You should take enormous pride in the way you cared and loved for wife.
One point, try and make sure the doctor puts PSP first has cause of death, the registrar won't know anything about it, mine took ages to get the computer to say yes. Had to phone half the country. The government do look and record deaths, the more we can it acknowledged.
My condolences Tim. You worked very hard taking care of Margaret. I am glad you were able to be close by as she passed on. Your wife was very strong even up to the end
Margaret, don't worry about your husband. He is in fine hands with your family that you raised together. Goodbye, dear.
AVB
I shall ransom them from the power of Sheol; I shall redeem them from Death. O Death, where are your plagues? O Sheol, where is your sting? Compassion is hidden from my eyes. Hosea 13:14
Then, when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled: "Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?" Corinthians 15:54,55
Dear Tim, what a beautiful eulogy. Margaret was fortunate to have had your love; no one could have battled harder or more courageously than you did for her. She must have been a wonderful person to have inspired such devotion. It's good you have family there to help. From far away, I send warmest wishes and sympathy and love, ec
Dear Tim I am so very sorry that Margaret has passed over. I can't stop crying here. You made me feel as if I knew her. She was so lucky to have you. Margaret,Fred,Steve and Bugs and all the other loved ones who have left us will be in my prayers as will you Tim, Debbie, Heady and all of you who have lost your loved ones. I feel so very upset even though we never did get to meet. I so wanted to see that smile of Margaret's. God Bless you and please stay in contact all of you. We are losing so many good people. R.I.P Margaret.
Dear Tim, I have only just read your post and am so sorry that you had to say goodbye to Margaret but she has been suffering for too long and is in a much better place now. I find it difficult to take in how many of our loved ones have passed away over the last few weeks and am sure the support we are able to giv each other during these difficult times is such a comfort. I send my love to you Tim and hope that you take time to grieve in your own way. It will be strange for you not having to nurse or constantly be with Margaret over the last few years and the idea of only having to do things for yourself will be totally alien to you. I wish you well and thank you for sharing your knowledge, trials and tribulations with us.
Dear Tim, my heartfelt condolences to you. It's amazing how the people on this group have become so close, so I feel your loss keenly, even though I only 'know' you virtually. There is such kinship created through this very hard journey we are all travelling. Your love and care for Margaret really shone through your posts, and she was certainly fortunate to have been so loved. I'll be thinking of you xx
It is so difficult to read your heart wrenching post, imagining the pain you are enduring now. You and your family will certainly be in my prayers. Your posts indicate that you gave your ALL. Please rest and comfort yourself in that thought.
Dear Tim, I'm so sorry you no longer have Margaret but I'm relieved she is no longer in the grip of PSP. Thank you for all your help and expertise that you shared on this site, it was immensely help to me. I hope and pray that in time you will find the strength to return to us and let us know how you are.
I'm so sorry to hear that your lovely wife passed away. It's wonderful that your family are there to help pick up the pieces. Stepping away from PSP is absolutely the right decision, I know that is what I will do. I hope that time helps and that you may remember the good times without PSP. Xx
My condolences for your loss. Beautiful that you were there with Margaret until the end and that you cared for her the way you did--true love. It is such a peaceful feeling to know that we as caregivers did everything for our loved ones. I do believe that the love and caregiving we gave them daily only gave them more time with us. A true blessing. It's strange because we miss them so much, but know that they are no longer suffering with this awful and cruel disease.
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