What do you mean you cant help?

So last night I went to my mother in laws after dinner, to my horror she was sitting in the rec room crying out (not her normal rant) about having to go to the bathroom. The nurse on duty was sitting at her desk right across from my mother in law. This was a new nurse so she had no idea who we were. I approached her and asked why my mother in law is yelling at the top of her lungs and why she was not tending to her she looked at me like I had 2 heads.

I explained that my mother in law does not have dimentia ans is fully capable of letting everyonek now what she needs...then she tells me that she has called the PSW and I had to wait, all this while sitting in my mother in laws bedroom...can you guess what happens next???? I insisted she help her and she did. She had every excuse in the book and was willing to let me do this, I told her so what are you here for???? The way I see it they chose this career our loved ones did not choose to get sick.

This morning I asked the day nurse if the nurses are responsible for helping patients and lo and behold YES THEY ARE!!!! Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out...within 1 hour I had the director (who is a fabulous lady that I get along well with) the head nurse and the co-ordinator all in my mother in laws room apologizing and telling me that the night nurses behavior was unacceptable....AND she fell off her bed because little Miss Thing did not ensure my mother in law had her mattress pad on the side of her bed to protect her if she falls.....

Now please dont get me worng, my mother in law had received excellent care at this home, she is well fed (being Italian it's the first thing on my list haha) she is always clean and active during the day and I have even walked in on nurses unexpectedly hearing them call her momma Laura and laughing with her. She is safe and cared for thats all I want.

Stand up for our loved one's we are their voice, let us roar

8 Replies

  • pzagy, please direct Marie-14 to your advocacy methods. We cannot let others dictate what and what kind of care our loved ones need. We must advocate until satisfied that they are getting the best they can get!

    Very empowering story, thank you


  • I know the pain, but we have to ask for help when we need it and not be afraid to say we need the help. But when helpless people are being taunted and mistreated we need to speak out.

  • Preach on, sister!

  • I agree with you, we have to make sure that everything is ok, if not we shout as loud as we can, we need to stand up and make sure our loved ones are getting the care they deserve xxxxx

  • no one, and I mean NO ONE will do what we do at home, BUT I have seem dramatic changes in my mother in law for the better physically this past week. Emotionally she is starting to get used to being there. The only thing is the early nightfall. Makes everyone believe its time for bed when it really isnt...spring can't come soon enough for me!!!!

  • I have witnessed the same behaviour at the nursing home S goes to respite. Was horrified the first time, but it was the same lady, that they kept ignoring. Poor love has some form of dementia. So I can understand a new member of staff getting confused, who to ignore or not. That's down to management and extremely poor training. What ever happened to hand overs and discussing each patients needs?

    Glad to hear you put them straight. Well done!

    Lots of love


  • Hi heady

    I wish I could have taken a picture of the nurse when I told her my mother in law does not have dimentia ans that she tells me everything....I dont think they will be calling this nurse again and I don't feel bad for her.

    The nusing team along with the PSW meet weekly and when my mother in law was admitted the entire team was present and met to discuss her needs. When I left the meeting I saw the head nurse for that day talkig to her staff about my mother in law. They asked me questions too, it was just this rotten apple that I had to fix....

    Hope your well Heady,

  • Bravo! X

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