I cannot believe it is 3 weeks since I moved M into a nursing home. It has been a steep learning curve for both the home and for M and me. Not as easy as I thought to settle into the new routine, still not sleeping full night but getting there though waves of tiredness still hit on a daily basis but no longer debilitating. M has not settled fully but as she now knows I come daily, for as long as she needs, she no longer gets agitated when I go. She gets no where near the attention I hoped but the staff are caring and do check her fairly regularly.
M's present passive state means the staff have been lulled into a false sense of security so when she started choking (luckily I was there) the alarm cord was initially ignored until I joined in with M's noise (ex parade ground commander I got attention). They had the correct approach and quickly sorted her but I note they have become a lot more attentive. I was asked again about PSP symptoms will she choke again, yes, will she fall out of a chair if left unattended yes, can she tell them what she needs no, can we leave her in bed all day no, can she help herself no, does she have dementia NO, can she understand us Yes. They are trying to come up with a monitoring regime that fit into their staffing.
M is bored very little stimulation as M is unable to relate to old ladies in their 80/90's and they to her. I know I cannot take her home and that this is the best of the homes near us but I think there must be a better solution, but what. The nursing home is a place of safety and allows me quality time with her without the constant disturbed nights wearing me out.
I know I could take her home but could I care for her 24/7 without breakdown? I know the answer is unhappily no. We have to make this work.
There are a number of good points to balance the cons, if I tell the staff I want to take M out they get her ready much easier than me doing single handed, the access to the sea shore is easy and M seems to enjoy the sunshine and sea sounds. Her mum comes round to see M from her care home round the corner at least twice a week, both enjoy this as not possible for most of the winter. Taken M to Bodnant gardens for the magnolia and daffodils a couple of times so much easier than when at home to organise and carry out the expeditions into Snowdonia.
Sorry to sound down but not what I hoped but it is better than it could have been.
Best wishes Tim