Things are going well

[Kevin_1]

Hi folks

I'm rushed off my feet so this is just a quick post to say thank you for all of the support and advice and, that things are going well.

The Nursing Home is every bit as good as we had hoped. It is very 'not and institution' with really good food and attentive staff.

Liz wants to be home, but she accepts that the care was beyond home care even with carers. Perversely that is because she is still active in her mind and so it was a full on almost 'sit in the same room' requirement otherwise she would attempt to get of the char and do it herself. I had to abandon gardening back in June because I would have to go back to the house and check her every ten minutes.

So it is I have a bit of a life back for the first time in two years. However the house is so empty without her.

Were both a bit broken hearted.

The really good news is the home is a fifteen minute walk away.

Waiving with some tears

Kevin

PS - I will try to visit the site properly early next week.

[Hidden]

It’s good you feel good about where Liz is. A short walk to the facility is even better.

On the endless list of things to do our garden has gotten short shift as well. There was a killing frost over the last two night. I did start the compost pile for this year. I may get most of the dead stuff into it by spring. That’s the plan. It might happen.

[Kevin_1 in reply to Hidden]

I so know the "It might happen" bit - Chuckles.

Good luck!

[Zeberdee]

A short fifteen minute walk will do you the world of good with time to take in your surrounding area and time to think. You will also have time to take out the frustrations on those wretched weeds. Take good care of yourself. Jxx

[Katiebow]

It's good to hear Liz has accepted that she can no longer be at home and also pleased that the home she is staying in are caring. I keep looking at the garden thinking 'when will I ever get out to plant the bulbsI'' I want to have early flowers to look forward t.

You sound in a much better place now Kevin

Love kate xxx

[Suebatt]

Hi Kevin

So pleased that you are getting things sorted for Liz and yourself and she isn’t too far from you

Love and hugs to both and take care of yourself

Sue x

[Yvonneandgeorge]

Kevin so happy everything is sorted, 15 min walk is amazing for you, a bit of exercise a day, hope you manage to get to me time, been a hard time lately, we can all feel your pain, but Liz will have a lot of you time, you will be able to focus just on Liz not all the other bits , that went with this bloody horrible PSP. Enjoy your time with Liz hassle free. Big hug. Yvonne xxxxx

[Amilazy]

Glad you are able to get to Liz easily, the home sounds good too. Start to look after yourself try and get some good nights sleep, it takes time to get used to undisturbed nights, well it did for me. Hope CHC covers most of the costs.

Best wishes to both of you, give Liz a good hug. Tim

[Yvonneandgeorge in reply to Amilazy]

Tim how are you doing? Yvonne xxxx

[Amilazy in reply to Yvonneandgeorge]

Moving on Yvonne, still sore about PSP but putting life together, no longer read this site regularly hence rare response. How are you, surviving I hope and doing some things for yourself.

Best wishes Tim

[Yvonneandgeorge in reply to Amilazy]

Tim you know what it is like one good day loads of bad days, I have forgotten my holiday only took a couple of days to forget it. Glad things are moving on slowly for you xxxx

[Kevin_1 in reply to Amilazy]

Thanks Tim.

Will do.

Best

Kevin

[abirke]

a teary wave back at you and Liz.....

Do Well

Andrea

[Kevin_1 in reply to abirke]

Thanks Andrea

The visits to the home are painful. She seems so helpless!

They are very good with her. I could not ask better.

But, she wants to be home the partings are full of tears on both sides!

I am starting to function again - slowly.

Today I awarded myself the morning off and read to my hearts content. Though I still have a distracted way of looking up every few minutes.

how is toi going for you?

Best

Kevin

[abirke in reply to Kevin_1]

your post very reminiscent of a movie I just watched minutes ago.....

Away From Her....Naturally it's about Alzheimers but we know what they are going through....husband leaving the wife, the wife not knowing how to communicate though we understand that our loved ones still have their conscience...? good memory....still what you say, is the movie I just saw.

I am sorry for your tears on both sides I too shed tears...I am at a place where I am still trying to pick up the wreck.....of my own mind....never mind all the things in the house that need straightening up out over ....

Thanks for your thoughts Kevin. Please give my love to Liz...and keep reading to her. the husband on this movie read about Iceland where her family was from and migrated/ immigrated to Canada....great music....My favorite singer...Neil Young and his words .... His music is almost prophetic.

Do Well

Andrea

[Tippyleaf]

Good to hear from you Kevin , so pleased Liz is settling reasonably well and only a 15 minute walk away that sounds very handy.

Each new phase ofPSP brings its own grief and challenges be gentle on yourself as you adjust to this one. A cheery wave back to you both

Love Tippy

[NanBabs]

Welcome back Kevin - you`ve been missed.

Glad to hear that things are working out well for you both. Sometimes we just have to accept the inevitable.

xx

[Kevin_1 in reply to NanBabs]

Thanks NanBabs

I am working hard to accept and to deal with guilt.

Mainly I am trying to make it work so that we have the best of our relationship under these circumstances. She is so 'not there' now. Her voice is weak and her words barely articulated. She knows what she wants to say. Its so very frustrating for both of us.

I will adjust and adjust again - I am determined.

xx

[doglington in reply to Kevin_1]

When I could no longer understand what Chris was trying to say it just reduced me to tears of helplessness. Communication was reduced to yes and no squeezes. Every one said how great that we could communicate but it just crucified me.

xx

[Heady in reply to doglington]

You and me both, Jean. Most of the time I only had to look into Steve's eyes, to know what he wanted. Considering how blank they were, it was remarkable how he could get his meaning across, especially when I had misinterpreted the signs!!! Oh, I miss him sooo much.

Lots of love

Anne

[doglington in reply to Heady]

I know. Life is so empty.

love to you, Anne,

Jean x

[Kevin_1 in reply to doglington]

Hi Jean

PSP is just constant loss. I feel so much pain and yet I know there is more to come.

I wish you all the strength and good things that might come.

Hugs to you

Kevin

xx

[Kevin_1 in reply to Heady]

Waiving to you Anne

My heart goes out to you.

Warmly

Kevin

xx

[Kevin_1 in reply to doglington]

Hi Jean

I know exactly what you mean.

I have to fight the tears down sometimes.

Hugs to you

Kevin

xx

[easterncedar]

Really good to hear, Kevin. What a relief. I hope you are getting some rest. Love, Sarah

[Spiralsparkle]

Thanks for the update, I've been thinking of you both.

It must be very hard for you both to be apart but now you can spend time with Liz as her husband and also time for yourself. It sounds like she will be well looked after and have stimulation too. Really hope Liz settles in over the next few months and grows to like being there. Is a home run by a large company or a independent owners?

Big hugs to you both

[Kevin_1 in reply to Spiralsparkle]

Hi S-Sparkle

Yes, its a one off owned by a local businessman. The Manager is totally on the ball and the standards high. They aim to make it like a home rather than a Home. They got an award as best in the County last year.

Its not perfect though. Nowhere is...

I winced the other day... They have a very full calendar of trips and activities. The (very nice activities woman) was playing catch with the residents and threw the ball to Liz. She caught it and then pushed it off her lap. I could hear her thinking, "I have not lost the plot so far that playing ball is my idea of fun!" Ah, well.

Bigs hugs to you too.

[Spiralsparkle in reply to Kevin_1]

Not perfect but the best you can get by sounds of it with that award.

Yeah I can imagine Mum would be the same, she wouldnt be able to catch a ball though lol. Is Liz young compared to other residents?

[JantheNana]

It is good to hear from you,have been wondering how things were going.Glad things are working well! Janet

[Kevin_1 in reply to JantheNana]

Hi Janet - Its as good as it gets.

I miss her and she misses her home.

PSP misery and all we can do is salvage the best we still have.

Waiving

[Cuttercat]

You are a wonderful wonderful person. I know you have done your best. Please keep us posted. It's the upcoming silence that frightens me.

Cuttercat

[Kevin_1 in reply to Cuttercat]

Sorry Cuttercat and thanks

I've been suffering a mixture of rushing around sorting things out and being somewhat paralysed with emotion.

Quite a time back I got the hang of keeping one step ahead. Liz suddenly veered off to the side with anger and weird beliefs. The other day she said that the staff were doing a ritual over her in the night and that it was something to do with pads. I am beginning to find that when she is tired she becomes frightened and her reality can get skewed. Its just another heartbreak.

Best to you

Warmly

Kevin

[Cuttercat in reply to Kevin_1]

Absolutely. Evening poses anxiety and anger here. I try to disengage a bit and it helps but sad

CT