My darling Mum

Sadly my darling Mum lost her long brave battle with PSP on 29 December 2011. She was discharged from hospital after 9 weeks just before Christmas and had to go into a nursing home. It was our wish that she went into the hospice but we were denied that as someone at the hospital decided she had longer than 2 weeks to live (she didn't in the end). We had the worst possible experience and outcome as we were not with Mum when she passed away and I will never come to terms with that. I simply got a call one evening out of the blue to tell me that my lovely Mum had passed away 15 minutes previously. I never expected Mum's passing to be dealt with so badly and for us, her family, to be treated in the cavalier, disrespectful, non-compassionate manner that we were by the staff who were on duty that night in the nursing home. The whole situation is now the matter of an inquiry at the nursing home where Mum ended up. She actually would have had better treatment had she stayed in the hospital (which is really saying something as this particular hospital is always in the news for all the wrong reasons).

My sister, brother and myself and our families are devastated at the way PSP robbed our beautiful, intelligent, independent, vibrant, kind, lovely Mum of everything. We did all we could for Mum and the only positive thing I can say at the moment is that she is no longer suffering. We cannot stop crying and I don't think the pain will ever go away. She was so special, we loved her so much and she did not deserve for any of this to happen.

May you rest in peace my darling Mum. We love you and miss you more than words can say. Thank you for living your good life - you were the best Mum in the world and a wonderful example to us all, we will make you proud of us

Cate x

Mum's funeral is on Monday 16 January 2012 and we will be collecting donations in Mum's memory for the PSP Association.

14 Replies

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  • hi Cate

    sorrry to hear of your loss and the awful way it has happened

    love jill

    xxx and big hugs

  • Jill thank you for your kind words. I am afraid I was (and still am) very angry when I posted my blog about my Mum. We were just extremely unlucky - quite literally at every step of the way with Mum's PSP journey, we hit brick walls and problems that had never been encountered before. We will pursue the matter with the nursing home as we desperately don't want anyone else to go through what we have. To give them their credit, they held their hands up and said there was no excuse for what had happened and apologised profusely so I hope no-one else ever gets treated in that way. Sadly, we can't ever put it right for my darling Mum which is why I am so upset.

    Thanks again, Jill and I will keep you posted on the outcome of events.

    Catherine (or Cate as my Mum always called me!) xxxx

  • hi cate,

    im so sorry to hear of your loss and the way it was dealt

    with i hope the nurseing home gets struck off i think its

    despicable the way they treat people, with deepest

    sympathy to all of the family,

    luv ray xxx

  • Hello Ray, thank you for your message. As you will see from my reply to Jill above, we were just very unlucky (as was the case the whole way along). However, the situation is being addressed at the highest levels and I will keep you posted about events as they unravel.

    With my very best wishes, Catherine (or Cate, as my darling Mum always called me!) xx

  • Hello Cate

    Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum and my deepest sympathy goes to you and your family at this very sad time.

    It sounds awful what happened at the Nursing Home and I do hope that you won't give up trying to get some answers.

    I will be thinking of you on the 16th and I am sending love and hugs to you all.

    Take care................SuzieQ xx

  • Hi Catherine,

    Thank you for the message you left on my post.

    I am so sorry to hear about your mum, i remember you telling us about the problems you had looking at homes and now you have had the worst possible outcome.

    Our love, thoughts and prayers to all your family and please contact me if there is anything we can do.

    Claire, Beth, Dominic and Ronc xx

  • Dear Baz

    How sorry we are to hear of your mum's passing and that you had such appalling treatment, I hope that you get some answers.

    We will be thinking of you at this sad time and we share in your grief.

    Let us know if we can support you in any way regarding the nursing home situation.

    We will remember you all in our prayers and especially your mum.

    May she rest in peace,

    God bless

    With our love Liz, Ronc, Claire and family.

  • Hi Cate

    My heart goes out to you. My Mum died 21st Dec and her funeral was on the 29th when your Mum sadly died. Mumwent into a nursing home begining of Dec for a few days whilst I had a rest (due to exhaustion) Can never forgive myself now as going to see her after 3 days (I was told to by doctors) I found her slumped in a chair showing signs of dementia and no staff had noticed! Myself and 2 friends almost dragged her out of there..she went in talking,eating and walking and came out not being able to do any! She improved for 3 days then went ill again when se was rushed to hospital The water infection had kicked of the latter stages of PSP. I brought her home where she died. I screamed the place down Cate and let rip at my brothers and family who were never there. I cared for Mum every day for 8 years and I am totally lost. Today is her birthday and she would have been 85. My own house has been deglected for a long time so I have been gutting every room...anything to keep busy and stop thinking about Mum. She was wonderful and never moaned, I am going to miss her so much like you are yours. We collected also for PSP at her funeral and that gave great comfort. Myself and 2 sons are going to do the Hadrians walk too June 1st for PSP, that may interest you.

    I hate PSP and what it did to Mum...horrendous disease!

    Oh Cate...if you find a way to take away the pain, tell me too please. I feel yours so much and hope the inquiry helps in some way. We have done our very best for our Mums which is why we are angry that other people haven't, my Mum knew this and I am sure yours did too.

    God Bless Cate...big hug!

    Jan xxxxx

  • Dear Cate,

    Read your post through a film of tears. I'm so sorry for your loss and that you weren't able to be with your Mum at the end. I hope, in time, your sorrow will be replaced by memories of happier times.

    Much love and great BIG cyber hugs to you and your family

    Love Kathy xxxx

  • Dear Cate,

    I am so sorry for your Mum's difficult

    struggles at the end of an amazing life. The pain of it all is hard to bear at times. Focusing on the good times will be a balm that keeps giving. Use it frequently. From across the pond. Edie

  • Dear Cate

    I am so sorry for your loss. If it is any consolation - -your mom knows you love her and did all that you could do. She no longer suffers and you know that she does not hold you at fault for anything so try not to hold yourself at fault- -she's your mother and she wouldn't want you to feel guilty about what transpired. Try to forgive yourself -sometimes our loved ones choose to pass without us there -it is a way that they try spare us the pain. I understand all that you are feeling - -my father has been living with me for almost 21 months after a disaster in an adult family home and I have family that just doesn't help - -they just don't get but we do and we do the best that we can. Your feelings of anger is justified and I appreciate you fighting the good fight so that this sort of thing doesn't happen to anyone else--I'm certain that your mother is proud of you.

    All the best . .

    Danielle

  • So So sorry for your loss, PSP is a hard cruel illness but to lose your Mum in such a disgraceful manner makes it all the harder. My own Mum took very ill in December and we were told to prepare ourselfs for the worst but Mum still had some fight left in her and is still with us. We have been lucky Mum's nursing home are very supportive and caring but Mum did have resbite in some real shockers before we found this one. I hope you get the answers and justice you and your Mum deserve . Think of the good times you shared together remember your Mum lives on inside your heart . Take Care.

    Liz xx

  • Hi Cate

    Sorry to hear your news. I know what a difficult time you have had in recent months from our conversations at the Brentwood Support Group. If I can be of any help to you please feel free to contact me. If you dont have my number contact Cameron Wood and he will pass my contact details to you.

    I will remember you all in my prayers.

    God Bless, Love Jenni XXXX

  • Hi Cate

    I can only re-iterate what others have said and I am so sorry to hear of your loss. PSP is such a terrible illness not only for the person suffering with it but for the family and friends who have to see their loved ones go through this. It is a terrible fight dealing with professionals who just don't understand the condifiton and sometime don't see to want to either. Please accept my condolences and I will be thinking of you and your family on the 16th. Take care of yourself

    Love

    Lesley x

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