Well, I went to see S this afternoon. Wanted to wait until tomorrow, but had a hair appointment booked, close to where he is, so it seemed silly not to pop in.

He is not happy. Held my hand, I could feel him screaming inside, but his face or mouth didn't show anything! Tried to get him to communicate, but he just couldn't. I know he is fine, his nurse was teasing him about liking his food, was in the lounge with everyone else, when I got there, looked happy and connecting with the staff. So I think the home is OK, he just doesn't want to be there. Who can blame him, he is stuck with these really old people, all with their masks on, mouths open, lights on, but nobody at home. The sad thing is, he is exactly the same, doesn't look out of place at all. He is a lot younger than most, but unless he smiles, you wouldn't know it. Feel heartbroken at the moment, but I know it's the right thing.

Hopefully, another good nights sleep tonight, then I am off to have some R & R, with my sister, niece and three dogs!!! And I am going to take my own advice and leave my iPad at home. I love you all, but me and PSP need a break from each other!!!

Lots of love


20 Replies

  • I want a break the only thing stopping me is the cost of these places even with rolling respite in place its still going to cost a considerable contribution I dont know what to do if it costs too much I dont get a break x

  • It's a shocking dilemma to be in when caring for someone, it should be compulsory for full time carers to get a certain number of respite weeks free a year, after all we are saving the government pounds aren't we ??

  • Here in the US we should be grateful to not have to snack on Alpo (dog food) for our main meal anymore. Getting respite care is just too darned social democratic.......feel the Byrne......


  • Too right !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Make the most of it Heady !! love, Jean x

  • Hope you check in when you get back.

    Have a really good time and hope you manage a few dry dog walks.



  • Heady have a lovely rest, good idea to leave your iPad at home, go and enjoy yourself, S will be fine, and he will be home soon, be thinking of you. Yvonne xxx🍸🍸🍸🍸

  • How long will he be there?

  • I know how you feel , but he is in a nice place, but enjoy your time knowing he is fine...we have had a really bad setback, had to call GP who had to contact the emergency response team, my darling man is now in emergency respite as he has declined very suddenly over the weekend, falling and can't move, my heart is breaking having to leave him there with no one knowing him, his room is very basic, and no one seemed to be interested in his care, we stayed to settle him in bed and I will go back first thing in the morning and bring his own bedding and pillows , it was just so awful but because we now have to have to change his care plan and have hospital bed we had no choice but to do that.....I feel so bad but pray he will be ok until he comes home in a few days.....sooner if we can....It felt like I was abandoning him but he knows he is loved and we will make it up to him in his new safe room xx

  • Sorry for your situation, nan. Get some sleep yourself tonight. Love, ec

  • Heady, enjoy the break and any others you can get, they make all the difference to how you can care for S when he comes home.


  • You go, girl! We'll be happy to hear about your lovely time later. Forget about us for a few days, please!

  • H I EC



  • Thanks, Jill. Kind of you to say so. How are you today? Are you getting the wild weather Georgepa has described?

  • Enjoy the time out Heady, sorry you feel he is not enjoying the home but he needs you well and fit to care at home on his return.

    Best wishes Tim

  • Enjoy your well earned break Heady. I can empathise with everything you say. As you know, P is now in full time care and I feel the same as you when I visit every day, but .... I know deep down that it was the right, no, the ONLY thing I could do.

    In order to go on looking after S you MUST factor in these respite breaks, it certainly kept us going for longer.


  • Aaaarrrrhhh, Heady,

    That made me cry! Our poor dear loved ones.....I just can't imagine the angst that they must feel but can't communicate! At least we can communicate ours!


  • Enjoy your R & R Heady. Quite right to leave iPad behind. Nanny 857.

  • I so know how you feel. I know youre probably already off but I have been sick for almost two months culminating with a huge case of depression and anxiety. And though my kids tried to help, It was just us 4.... B, me, my illness, and his! Waking up daily to take care of him and never ever having a break or even a glimpse of sympathy from my husband. Well now its down to just me, B and his illness.....mine i guess is over...but Lord i could use a break!

    Have fun,


  • Enjoy your well earned break Heady, you certainly deserve it. It must break your heart leaving him somewhere he doesn't want to be but on order to carry on you need some 'down time' enjoy your walks, laughs, conversations etc and feel 'normal' for a few days. He will be fine when you get back and you will hopefully feel rejuvenated. Kate x

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