Why? Please explain!

All the time I have been living with S, when at home, he always mashes his food up all together, like baby food!  Disgusting I know, but he is male!  NOW! although I am not mashing his food up, I am mixing it, like he has always done. It's suddenly wrong, wants it kept seperate.  Well I think that is what he was complaining about tonight, while feeding him!!!  I have always thought, this will be the easy bit to this illness.  Wrong again!  Why can't any thing go as you would expect?????

Lots of love


19 Replies

  • It's a male thing I'm afraid Heady, always wanting the opposite to everything!

    Love and hugs....Pat xx

  • Yes I think Pat is right Heady it is a man thing, you will do it next time the way he asked you too, and guess what it still won't be right, men for you.  Also sending you a big hug xxxxxxx Yvonne 

  • Rampant sexism !!!!! Man thing indeed - V eats  all her  veg first  and her meat last except on Tuesdays  and  Fridays . Umph.

  • Tuesdays and Fridays , Funny!  Wednesdays and Saturdays For me....But since all I eat are straight up carbohydrates from the cookie and/or cereal box...no fiber or protein for me!

    I say say down with cooking all together! Theres some feminism for you.....

    Hey Heady put your man on the PEG no need for any more mashing or mixing just a quick shake before opening can and dinner s readY!!! hahhah....


  • Yes, that's what I thought. Hey ho!  I'll carry on doing my woman thing, caring, smiling sweetly and never EVER saying a cross word!!!!

    Lots of love


  • Oh ha ha ha ha ho ho ho he he heee!!!!

  • Oooooh ! flying pigs come  to mind . 

  • Cheeky b........

  • Go AR Razorbacks be flyin!!!  yah!!!

  • Oh yes don't know if it's the illness or a man thing but I feel like whatever I do is wrong, (especially when it comes to food) what was his favourite a month ago he don't like anymore. 

    Lots of love

    Debbie xxxx

  • Heady, does anything go as you expect?  It doesn't in this house.  When S is in a cooperative state, try and find out if that is what he was complaining about. C has developed a very sweet tooth so if he has a meal with vegetables I always give him sweet potatoes and if omelettes, cheese potatoe etc, I add tomato ketchup.  On occasions, after the first taste, he keeps his mouth shut but if I add more ketchup he eats again.  He never touched ketchup before PSP.  The same with sugar in tea and coffee, never touched it now has lots.  I don't think I have to worry about him getting fat or his teeth rotting at this stage of life.

    I hope meal time is better today.

    Lots of love


  • Man thing, nah, but I have noted that my eating habits have altered while looking after M,  being from a large family food was fuel and to be cleared quick so if any chance of seconds I was ready.  Still quick as M feeding, water and meds routines mean little time for preparation of food and eating.  I note that I mix the gravy, mash and veg but am now separating out the meat/fish and eating separate to rest must be a taste thing.  M was never too fussy but PEG has removed the choice she hated the purée food unless separated into constituents not all mashed together unless a curry.  I think she liked the different colours.

    Best of luck Tim

  • Hi Heady,

    How interesting about mashing food - P always used to squash his food with a fork, it drove me mad, especially after I had stood and scraped some lovely new potatoes ! I suppose now it means he doesn`t object to his food being pureed so I`m grateful for small mercies.


  • There is several answers to this question.

    Mental health answer would be they are taking control of a situation that they have no control over. (Man thing). 

    They are exercising there right to move the goalposts (man game) to keep us on our toes. 

    Or as my good old mum used to say the wind has changed direction and ruffled the dangles  (definitely a man thing). 


  • I suppose it doesn't help having something attached to said dangles!!!

    Lots of love


  • Bless you Heady. My husband mashes his food all the time. It looks disgusting and there's nothing wrong with him.......apparently lol. Mum, who does have psp likes her food mashed, but individually so she can have a spoonful of carrot, or potato but not mixed. It's not too bad as we mash it with a fork once we put the plate on the table in front of her and she can still feed herself with guidance, but I'm afraid it's getting closer to the time for puréed food and she'll have to have it all mixed. It would be simply too time consuming and impractical to purée each food item one by one! 

    Keep up the good work Heady.

    Love & hugs Michele xxx

  • My mother was on puréed foods and thickened liquids only for almost the last two years of her life. I don't really think food stuff is a man thing. I do know that it took her a while to accept help (in many areas), and that she was more and more able to say she liked this or didn't like that. And she loved it when we were able to offer different, separate tastes  in the same meal. I think it was only when it really hit her that she was stuck with puréed foods from now on that she started expressing her likes and dislikes. Perhaps men are more able to do that sooner. 

    I would like to add my vote (from 6 years' experience) that aside from making sure the person gets nutrients (the liquid drinks like Ensures and Boosts help), carers do well to let the "rules" of healthy eating fall by the wayside, and embrace ice cream, milk shakes, puréed pies and whatever else comes to mind!

    Wishing you strength,


  • C also used to drive me mad mashing up the food I had carefully cooked.  [ I think that might be a man thing, George ! ]   Now I think any awkwardness about eating is due to needing to express their individuality as the  world  contracts [ people thing ]

    It drives me mad but I try to understand how dreadful it must be for him.

    And, of course I am as sweet and calm as Heady !  If only.

    love, Jean x

  • John enjoyed sausage and mash with onion gravy but otherwise like his food whole 

     While typing this a light bulb moment ! he use to ask me not to put too many different things in the plate .it would be fish or meat with pots and a veg  . . I did of course always sneak something else in .. 

      For a very long time he didn't like to many different things in front off him . If the room got untidy , maybe something left  beside a chair or table a newspaper or cup ,  he would ask me if I could tidy up . Take it in the kitchen .

    t would irritate me but in my own time would do so . 

    I understand now it was the oarkinsons that made him feel like that . It scrambled his mind .  They do say to have plain carpets ..I suppose that would go for wallpaper . 

    I have decided to buy some plain I duvet covers m he is always picking  at them . 

    I still have carpet down , its patterned but it doesn't show when I knock and spill my red wine  into it . Or any commode accidents .!! 

    I am so happy to tell you , it appears that we have been successful in getting the CHC .

    I had a telephone call late yesterday from the OT we have always had , she wanted to go through a list of any AIDS she had arranged for us to have .  I have been eternally grateful to her she has been an enormous help to me .

    They have told her we are being transferred to the NHS OTs because we now have CHC . I have not heared officially . I never did though when we got the half and half funding  ,

    So it's all change  , as well as the new care company which is much better . Now I should be getting the night sits when I need them and more day sits . It has take two years to get to this moment . ..

     BEv  can you tell me do I need to let the attendance allowance people know .

    Everyone now in the process of being assessed for CHC , know how difficult and stressful it is . I  wish you well and hope you soon get accepted ,must does take a load of your mind ,.

    I did see an article quite recently which I would have found very helpful . I will go back and see if I can find it   It explained in laymans terms ways around dealing with it ,  you need to turn the tables and take charge is what it said in general.

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