It's taken me all week to write this post, I wrote a really long one when we were still at the hospital and then lost the blooming thing! I've been so upset all week and couldn't concentrate but here I am and I'll try again!
The second night Keith was in hospital I decided I would try and sleep on the floor by his bed (bad mistake!) The lovely nurse gave me a makeshift mattress, pillow and covers, so there I am on the floor trying to make my bed, took my eyes off Keith and guess what he did? Yes he pulled his bl---y catheter out again, his bed was covered in blood, it looked like the chainsaw massacre! We cleaned him up and I tried to get comfy in my wonderful bed, bearing in mind I was in a ward with four men, one who was opposite Keith shouting in his sleep and was a complete nutcase and three were snoring, not a great combination! So I lay there barricaded by chairs and thought this isn't going to work, I couldn't stand another night without sleep and Keith had done the one thing I was trying to prevent so there was no point! I was worried that he was going to try to get out of bed, he kept throwing his legs over the rails, so I asked if anyone could possibly watch him. They were so short staffed and agreed to wheel his bed next to the nurses station where they could keep a close watch over him.
So I drove home and managed a few hours sleep. My youngest son went to hospital the next morning and sat with his Dad till I arrived. I spoke to the doctor (who looked about 12 years old!) who hadn't a clue what PSP was (surprise surprise!) and told him I wanted to take Keith home he was getting very agitated, of course they wouldn't allow it, he wanted Keith to see a neurologist, I tactfully (ha ha) explained that we had seen all and sundry available and there really wasn't any point, I just wanted him out of there! Anyway he agreed to him being discharged the next morning and arranged for an ambulance to take him back to the home. The lovely nursing staff agreed to put him next to the nurses station again which was a great relief as I think Keith was a bit frightened of the man opposite him (I don't blame him, so was I!)
He arrived at the home next day safe and sound thank goodness and I asked the nursing home if they would give me a bed and look after me for a couple of weeks! My plea didn't work unfortunately!
So this last few days I have been feeling really sad, I hate it in the house on my own without Keith and have been to see him at every opportunity, he has surprisingly only asked to come home once but I can tell he's doing it for me because I know he was worried about me. I don't know if I'll ever get used to this situation, I feel sick all the time and have lost weight. I know I'll have to get to grips with what has happened but at the moment it's one big long nightmare and I hate it for what it's done to Keith and us as a couple....😔
Rant over, sending you all love and hugs....Pat xx