PSP Association

Peace at Last

2 days removed from my father's passing. We have all been over at the house as we prepare are for his services.

I went to the rear of the house by myself, into dad's den and sat in his recliner for a number of minutes for no other reason but to look around the room and decompress for a while. While I was looking at dad's "stuff", I was overcome by the noises of laughter and chatter coming from down the hall. My siblings along with all of our kids (mostly girls) were at the house. They were preparing packages of Sunflower and Forget me Not flower seeds that will be passed out to the visitors who come to pay their respects. (Dad loved to garden in both flowers and vegetables) As I was looking at the things in dad's room that he found some pride and enjoyment in, the sounds from the other room quickly made me realize that nothing we accumulate in life is as precious as the family and friends that we have been blessed with. Dad loved his stuff, but none of that meant a thing when compared to his family. The sounds of laughter and conversation quickly brought peace to my soul. Too bad that it takes a death or personal tragedy to bring us back to our center and realize what the important things are in life.

Maybe in the future I will be able to help others in this forum with advice or words of support pertaining to their struggles. But for now, I am still in the memory mode.

May God continue to bless and comfort all of you.


17 Replies

thank you very rmuch for posting this very comforting email


Dear Jim,

Sorry for your loss. Please take your time with your memories. Remember, that while you and your children and theirs, survive your father is still around. He is just looking at life through different eyes! Yours!!! But the pain and suffering have gone.

My thoughts and love are with you.



Hello Jim. I took great comfort from your words. Enjoy your family and your memories of dad.


1 like

What a lovely message. Thank you xxx


Hi Jim, so sorry for the loss of your father and thank you for the email, what a great idea to give sunflower and forget-me-not seeds for people to plant in his memory.


It is not easy,I am glad his presence made you the person you are,his presence will continue, except ,in the way he wished he could be for at least the past few years,Rollie


Hi John

Sorry to hear about the sad loss of your father, my own father passed away 2 months ago from this dreadful illness and i still have my ups and downs.

It is very hard but remember that your dad is no longer suffering and is in a better place looking down at you all and will always be with you. Take care geetak


What a beautiful message. In the end - all you have are the people you love and that love you! I send my condolences to you and your family and wish you peace after a long battle.

Take care


Dear Jim,

Thank you for the writing,


Alana - Western Australia


I am touched to the point of tears reading you beautiful words. I think you are feeling the kind of peace that you need. I will continue to pray for your family as there will times when you will think of your Dad he used to be in years passed and want to be able to talk to him. What a wonderful idea of the seeds. Your family sounds wonderful. Enjoy each day with them....Love and prayers...Jan


I just wanted to add....I named my photography business Forget Me Not Photography with the thought of how much old photographs can be so important. With family being reminded of all the special times in your lives and stories being told....oh what a comfort and joy they bring. There are times I am afraid I have forgotten what Mom or Dad were like before they became ill, then I look at the pictures, close my eyes and.dream of life at it's best. You smile each time you see the bloom of the sunflower or Forget Me Not.....andsmile


hi i am so sorry for your loss bt pl z stay on the site

we need you\

lol and hugs

`jill xx


hi i am so osrry 4 the loss of your father

plz sty on the site we do need you

lol and hugs\

JIll zxxxxx


JW, what beautiful words! You are right it is sad that it takes a death or personal tragedy to realize what is most important. Precious moments shared with those we love.Your father is in a place of love & light unencumbered by a failing physical form. When someone passes away their survivor(s) either start living or stop. The choice is ours. It is the gift they leave up with, recognizing the true gift life is. Treasure your memories they are how he will live on in your heart and soul. My prayers are with you and your lovely family. Take care, JG


People can be so articulate on this site! JW and JG both qualify. I am up late tonight preparing the order of service for my husband's memorial service. Would you mind if I stole your idea of the seeds? That is so beautiful. Thank you.



Caroline, Please use the idea. The seed packages were a hit with dad's visitors. Because my mind was other places, someone reminded me that plants from these seeds could grow season after season. I'm not sure about the Forget Me Not, but the sunflower would be much easier. Collect seeds from each season and properly store them for planting in the next. I will have to check on this, I am not the horticulturist that my father was.


Thanks to all for your sweet comments of support and strength. My father's service was yesterday and it was beautiful!

The weather was warm and sunny with a light breeze. Not bad for central Indiana in the first week of May.

I was so worked about my emotions overtaking me but that wasn't the case. I was at complete peace with the situation. I shared a story with the minister who performed the service. A story that has been going on between my father and I for so long that I don't remember when it actually started.

Dad and I would seldom say goodbye to each other when we parted, we we hold up our hands with 2 fingers (you know the sign, in the 60's and 70's it was the peace sign. After WWII in Europe, it was the Victory sign) and we would always say "See you later".

The minister shared this story of our hand signal and "see you later" tradition. At the end of the service, as visitors filed past dad one last time, I noticed a few who gave dad the sign :)

It wasn't until I had returned home and had a moment to reflect, that I remembered this hand signal represented VICTORY. Dad is now free from this dreadful disease and by his faith in God and our Lord Jesus, dad obeyed the gospel and had been baptized on April 18, 1978. The disease may have claimed his physical life, but he now has inherited VICTORY over death and disease through the gift of Jesus.

In my mind, I have already changed what this simple little hand gesture between my father and I had meant for so many years. I will never forget "See you later" but now it has a greater meaning. Now it represents VICTORY !


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