Peace at Last

After several years of living with PSP, my father passed from this life very peacefully while in his sleep.

He was diagnosed with PSP about 4 years ago. However, I feel that he had exhibited signs of the disease for many years prior to this. It is heartbreaking that he is gone but I am grateful for many blessings that have come out of this struggle. Foremost, I am grateful that the entire family had years to spend quality time with him. We all knew that the road ahead was going to be long, bumpy and riddled with tears and frustration. What we didn't consider was the opportunity to become a stronger, more closely knit family.

For me, nothing was left unsaid. Too many times, I have heard someone say that they wish they had a little more time to say something. I had that time. Some have wounded relationships that need healed. My relationship, bumpy at times, was completely golden and without animosity. Although I am the oldest child at 51, he was still teaching me how to be a man, a father, a good neighbor.

I feel that I can represent my 3 siblings and say that we all greatly benefited from our time spent with dad during this illness. I can go on for many more sentences about the priceless time that we took advantage of. Now that he is gone, I feel the hurt, the heartache, the emptiness but I know in time these will fade and I will be stronger and better prepared for other struggles that may lay ahead in my life. In closing, I want to say that my oldest daughter will graduate form medical school in 1 week where she will start her residency in a nationally ranked neurology program focusing on PSP, ALS and other muscle movement disorders. I can not help but feel that with what she has witnessed and lived first hand with her grandpa's fight with PSP, she will be a physician who makes a difference. She may not find the cure or develop an effective drug therapy but without a doubt in my mind, she will make a difference in the lives of PSP patients. God has gifted her with a talent, the intellect, the compassion, desire and drive to be a difference. It was incredibly hard for my father to speak the words, but a few weeks ago he was able to tell her how proud he was of her. Those words will be in her heart everyday she works with her patients.

May I say, keep your faith. Do not blame God for this. Use this time to take advantage of all the little things and never feel like you or your family member is a victim. Live life to the fullest measure of your ability.

May God continue to bless you all.

8 Replies

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  • hi

    sorry that your father has gone from this world

    but he is free of this PSP now

    lol JIll

    hugs and zxxxxx

  • Hi Jwalls, I'm so sorry you have lost your dad but it must be a comfort to know he is in a better place and all suffering has ceased. Over the last 6 months we have known several people who have died suddenly and it made me grateful that as a family, we have had time to become very close. We too have 3 sons, the eldest is 40 this year. He lives 3-4 hours away but comes to see us regularly, staying a few nights with his now 2 year old son. We used to see him a couple of times a year when we went there as he is a chef in his own restaurant. One of my other sons comes every Tuesday morning to do odd jobs that I can't manage and the nearest son regularly sits with his dad in the evening so I can go out. Before the symptoms really started to show, their busy lives kept them away for long periods but they were all shocked at his deterioration when we had a family celebration last year. I have seen how close they have become to each other and they always say they love us when they leave or phone. I feel truly blessed that I have such a loving family and it is definitely PSP that has brought us so close but of course I'd rather it hadn't happened this way.

    Your dad must have been very proud of your daughter, as you must be. To have a doctor who understands what you are going through as PSP patient or carer would be a Godsend. I hope she has a very successful, fulfilling career.

    I say Amen to your last paragraph.

    May you know His special peace as you come to terms with your loss.

    May our Lord grant you and your family many blessings.

    Nanna B

  • Sorry for your sad loss. Thank you for the way you have expressed the many gains in both your life and that of your family through this terrible ordeal of seeing a loved one suffer with PSP.

    T.

  • Please accept my sincere condolences on your loss. Your father sounds like a wonderful man who has raised sons in his own image.

  • So sorry for your loss. May you find peace and strength to cope at this sad time. Love and prayers xx

  • Thinking of you and yours, Catherine xx

  • Please accept my sincere condolences and thinking of you and your family.

  • My family and I offer our deepest sympathy on the loss of your father we share the pain and grief with you having lost the head of our family 2 weeks ago please try to take comfort from the fact that his suffering is over. Rest in Peace

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